Everytime i see Dawn;
Everything's alright;
Even when it's not.
Is this what you call...love?
--Sly
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
tired....
tired...
i told my bros to do a maths paper at 4 todae. 4-6.15....
Got home, they're sleeping....
tired...
Kind of hv the feeling tt we're all tired. Haha....
And kind of hv tt feeling tt we all....
....dun wan to say lah....wait later come true then sad sia....
....but iguess, if we put in effort....sure can overcome this obstacle sia...
************************************************
Teachers Day tmr. My class damn sad lah! Never do anything for teachers one. No card no nothing. Sad rite? haha..... Maybe someone get a card or sthg later and tmr everyone write a bit of something. Sien....
My class....unique.....I love my class!
************************************************
ACES day. All children exercise simultaneaously. Who are they calling children? Us? Really...? I dun mind being called a child lah! But, theres one thing i not happy abt lah!
Make us do dance and all that, but when it comes to Children's day..... they say we're Youths.....not children. CMON lah MOE! Contradictory seh! Want to rob us of our holiday say lah!
haha... lame...i noe..
***********************************************
My eyes...
....teary....
as though i'm crying...
....dunnoe for wat....
....crying becoz i feel as though its over....
....even though i noe its not....
...crying becoz i feel worried for my 2 bros....
....even though i noe they can do it...
haha.... yea...relax..... THe thing is, it's just AS THOUGH i'm crying only. I think my eyes teary coz i need sleep. Long time never sleep in skool. Haha...i noe this coz long time Hock never complain i keep sleeping in skool. hHaa.... ya....
But if i m indeed crying.... it'll be kind of cool lah! Long time never cry sia....
.............. =)
i told my bros to do a maths paper at 4 todae. 4-6.15....
Got home, they're sleeping....
tired...
Kind of hv the feeling tt we're all tired. Haha....
And kind of hv tt feeling tt we all....
....dun wan to say lah....wait later come true then sad sia....
....but iguess, if we put in effort....sure can overcome this obstacle sia...
************************************************
Teachers Day tmr. My class damn sad lah! Never do anything for teachers one. No card no nothing. Sad rite? haha..... Maybe someone get a card or sthg later and tmr everyone write a bit of something. Sien....
My class....unique.....I love my class!
************************************************
ACES day. All children exercise simultaneaously. Who are they calling children? Us? Really...? I dun mind being called a child lah! But, theres one thing i not happy abt lah!
Make us do dance and all that, but when it comes to Children's day..... they say we're Youths.....not children. CMON lah MOE! Contradictory seh! Want to rob us of our holiday say lah!
haha... lame...i noe..
***********************************************
My eyes...
....teary....
as though i'm crying...
....dunnoe for wat....
....crying becoz i feel as though its over....
....even though i noe its not....
...crying becoz i feel worried for my 2 bros....
....even though i noe they can do it...
haha.... yea...relax..... THe thing is, it's just AS THOUGH i'm crying only. I think my eyes teary coz i need sleep. Long time never sleep in skool. Haha...i noe this coz long time Hock never complain i keep sleeping in skool. hHaa.... ya....
But if i m indeed crying.... it'll be kind of cool lah! Long time never cry sia....
.............. =)
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
????????
hmm....today can be summed up in a couple of words...
.....Shak......some thing.....HAHA!!.....
Trigo....Bros first time practice...HEHE!!....
....sleepy now....but haben do physics yet...HAHA!!....
my bros have 1hr 15mins till the end of their maths paper.... NITES...
Haha...shak.....wonder what's the real reason behind u telling me that.... haha!!
And oh! What i wrote in this blog, shall remain in this blog.... and any attempts to seek clarifications can only be made online-- haha! I will most probably not talk abt the stuffs i wrote here in the real world.
Coz u see.... this aint really the ME u see walking ard in skool. This is the ME that u can only see online. Heh.... If u want to ask, ask the ONLINE ME and not the REAL WORLD me....
And do note that there's always the possibilty that even the online me, who is technically ME, coz i'm online mah....haha..... yea.... there's always the possibilty that even the online me may refuse to give answers to certain qns. Yea..... u'll just hav to read, interpret what i'm saying.....and keep that interpretation to YOURSELF!! Coz any wrong interpretations will lead to me ending up in silly situations...haha!!
so yeps... bye!
.....Shak......some thing.....HAHA!!.....
Trigo....Bros first time practice...HEHE!!....
....sleepy now....but haben do physics yet...HAHA!!....
my bros have 1hr 15mins till the end of their maths paper.... NITES...
Haha...shak.....wonder what's the real reason behind u telling me that.... haha!!
And oh! What i wrote in this blog, shall remain in this blog.... and any attempts to seek clarifications can only be made online-- haha! I will most probably not talk abt the stuffs i wrote here in the real world.
Coz u see.... this aint really the ME u see walking ard in skool. This is the ME that u can only see online. Heh.... If u want to ask, ask the ONLINE ME and not the REAL WORLD me....
And do note that there's always the possibilty that even the online me, who is technically ME, coz i'm online mah....haha..... yea.... there's always the possibilty that even the online me may refuse to give answers to certain qns. Yea..... u'll just hav to read, interpret what i'm saying.....and keep that interpretation to YOURSELF!! Coz any wrong interpretations will lead to me ending up in silly situations...haha!!
so yeps... bye!
Monday, August 29, 2005
strawberry SUNDAE
well....my sunday.... here goes...
.....a day when trigo filled my brain. Memorised formulas after formulas. Familiarised myself wif trigo qns. Slowly....but steadily....
I shall remember this day as Trigoday.
Today....was a special day. Mama cooked something special today. Haha...coz yesterday's special dish finished by this morning. And u noe wat? Everyone except me eat it lah! Haha...my mama told me that as her birthday wish, she wants nothing except me to eat the dish she cooked.
Haha....i told u yesterday on the bus that i dun eat weird food or food that i "simply dun like even though i never tasted it b4". Well...she cooked that kind of food today! And everyone said its super duper nice lah and mum said it was the "best in the world"..... but me being the weird me.... i told her that i'll eat later....and later....and later.... and guess what? I didnt eat it at all lah! SO bad rite? Coz mama told me to eat it....she said please dunnoe how many times lah.... haha!
But before the day ended, i told my mama that..... i'll use my birthday wish in advance and wish that she wun force me to eat the dish she cooked today and wished that she wun be sad lah. I noe she'll be sad coz i din even touch what she cooked. But, mama noes i m like this. Lousy..... haha....She says that she really wonders how i am going to survive not eating a lot of things!... and she says that next time, if i ever bring my girlfriend home, she'll cook this and see if i eat it or not! I think she wants to see if i listen to my gf more than her! haa.... and i bet she'll kill me if my gf ever made me eat that dish lah!
Haha..... anw, it takes a very very very special person to force me to eat something i dun want. It takes a very very special person to make me do the things i never do before. My secondary school friends know that once i say no, i really do stick to the decision i make. No way can any normal folk sway my decision tha other way. BUt, i was rather disappointed at myself too. Coz although mum wasnt a very very special person, i still wasnt "moved" to try to eat this dish for the first time in my life.
Haiz..... if someone who's very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very veryvery very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very special and dear to me cant make me eat something i never eaten before,i must say that it really really takes some one lagi special to make me do anything like this--make me eat the things i never eat before, make me do the things i never do before...yada yada yada....
WEll, the last time ppl made me eat sthg i never eat was a couple of weeks back lah,when hock and gene forced me to eat pizza. Well, i did ONLY eat just the bread part. Haha....
Man....... haha..... i noe mama will never forgive me for not touching her cooking at all lah! LOL! But i noe i'll still be the son that she'll never scold lah! hahahaa
Anw, my cuz came tonight--the one that got married last week. Its customary for newly weds to visit the elders after the got married. SO they showed the photos taken and all that.... and when everyone left, my family was sitting in the living room when mama told me that my wife shuldnt be wearing that kind of wedding gown. She noes its fashion.... but she doesnt want my wife to wear that kind of gown-- or shuld i say, a gown wif that kind of cutting. HAha....i didnt really see the album.... but it shuld be the kinds u see in wedding megazines.
PS: i dun read wedding megazines. Just happened to flip thru a mag last week at my cuz's place. Though those gowns really look nice, one really have to fear God and not do things that He forbids. Haha.... looks like this entry of mine will make me single all my life! =P
Anw, i assured my mum that my wife wouldnt wear such things. She'll cover everything up and shall even wear a veil! hahaha.... WEll, mum said that no need until so extreme....haha.... just dun wear until those kinds can already. Haha....
Hahha.... after my As, i really want to take a look at my entire blog and analyse the stuffs ive been talking abt and see when the M word began to appear in my entries.
I'm going to take a quick shower coz am feeling a bit sleepy. HAaha.... and try push myself a lil bit more b4 sleeping.
Before i forget, a note to self....
Remember that if i ever own a handphone,there's a someone that'll be the first to get a call or sms from me!
Actually rite, no need note to self also can remember lah. Haha.... just to be sure in case that that 0.000000000000001% probability that i'll forget ever occur. Who noes skali 20 yrs down the road, i m re reading my blog and i go.....
"Alamak. How could i do this to her? I promised her that she'll be the first to noe... and after TWENTY years, i didnt even call her to tell her that the reason why i didnt call after SO LONG was that i am still waiting for the latest handphone model to come out ...and not becoz i forgot abt the promise i made...."
HAHahas.... yea...lame huh....anw.. nites! =)
.....a day when trigo filled my brain. Memorised formulas after formulas. Familiarised myself wif trigo qns. Slowly....but steadily....
I shall remember this day as Trigoday.
Today....was a special day. Mama cooked something special today. Haha...coz yesterday's special dish finished by this morning. And u noe wat? Everyone except me eat it lah! Haha...my mama told me that as her birthday wish, she wants nothing except me to eat the dish she cooked.
Haha....i told u yesterday on the bus that i dun eat weird food or food that i "simply dun like even though i never tasted it b4". Well...she cooked that kind of food today! And everyone said its super duper nice lah and mum said it was the "best in the world"..... but me being the weird me.... i told her that i'll eat later....and later....and later.... and guess what? I didnt eat it at all lah! SO bad rite? Coz mama told me to eat it....she said please dunnoe how many times lah.... haha!
But before the day ended, i told my mama that..... i'll use my birthday wish in advance and wish that she wun force me to eat the dish she cooked today and wished that she wun be sad lah. I noe she'll be sad coz i din even touch what she cooked. But, mama noes i m like this. Lousy..... haha....She says that she really wonders how i am going to survive not eating a lot of things!... and she says that next time, if i ever bring my girlfriend home, she'll cook this and see if i eat it or not! I think she wants to see if i listen to my gf more than her! haa.... and i bet she'll kill me if my gf ever made me eat that dish lah!
Haha..... anw, it takes a very very very special person to force me to eat something i dun want. It takes a very very special person to make me do the things i never do before. My secondary school friends know that once i say no, i really do stick to the decision i make. No way can any normal folk sway my decision tha other way. BUt, i was rather disappointed at myself too. Coz although mum wasnt a very very special person, i still wasnt "moved" to try to eat this dish for the first time in my life.
Haiz..... if someone who's very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very veryvery very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very special and dear to me cant make me eat something i never eaten before,i must say that it really really takes some one lagi special to make me do anything like this--make me eat the things i never eat before, make me do the things i never do before...yada yada yada....
WEll, the last time ppl made me eat sthg i never eat was a couple of weeks back lah,when hock and gene forced me to eat pizza. Well, i did ONLY eat just the bread part. Haha....
Man....... haha..... i noe mama will never forgive me for not touching her cooking at all lah! LOL! But i noe i'll still be the son that she'll never scold lah! hahahaa
Anw, my cuz came tonight--the one that got married last week. Its customary for newly weds to visit the elders after the got married. SO they showed the photos taken and all that.... and when everyone left, my family was sitting in the living room when mama told me that my wife shuldnt be wearing that kind of wedding gown. She noes its fashion.... but she doesnt want my wife to wear that kind of gown-- or shuld i say, a gown wif that kind of cutting. HAha....i didnt really see the album.... but it shuld be the kinds u see in wedding megazines.
PS: i dun read wedding megazines. Just happened to flip thru a mag last week at my cuz's place. Though those gowns really look nice, one really have to fear God and not do things that He forbids. Haha.... looks like this entry of mine will make me single all my life! =P
Anw, i assured my mum that my wife wouldnt wear such things. She'll cover everything up and shall even wear a veil! hahaha.... WEll, mum said that no need until so extreme....haha.... just dun wear until those kinds can already. Haha....
Hahha.... after my As, i really want to take a look at my entire blog and analyse the stuffs ive been talking abt and see when the M word began to appear in my entries.
I'm going to take a quick shower coz am feeling a bit sleepy. HAaha.... and try push myself a lil bit more b4 sleeping.
Before i forget, a note to self....
Remember that if i ever own a handphone,there's a someone that'll be the first to get a call or sms from me!
Actually rite, no need note to self also can remember lah. Haha.... just to be sure in case that that 0.000000000000001% probability that i'll forget ever occur. Who noes skali 20 yrs down the road, i m re reading my blog and i go.....
"Alamak. How could i do this to her? I promised her that she'll be the first to noe... and after TWENTY years, i didnt even call her to tell her that the reason why i didnt call after SO LONG was that i am still waiting for the latest handphone model to come out ...and not becoz i forgot abt the promise i made...."
HAHahas.... yea...lame huh....anw.. nites! =)
Sunday, August 28, 2005
saturday...
My final flag day in my jc life. Was glad that it ended slightly differently. Coz i tot i'll be alone lah..... skali got 2 other frens of mine who went. Haha....yep...i stand at the normal place again and "pester" ppl for money.
Coz the other two frens of mine simply stood still and asked for donations while i walked up and down the aisle to collect. Haha.... well... quite fun...haha.... was really a good way to end flag day. The next time Flag Day comes to mind, i'll definitely think of today.
Spent $40+ on Maths and science assesment books and revision notes for my 2 bros. GOnna ask mum to "kill" TV for the next two months. Gonna start drilling my bros man! And drill myself too at the same time... haiz....
Ate lunch at LJS. WAh damn hungry lah! haha.... Ate while two others watched-- my sling bag and the books i just bought. =P
i left home with $60 and came home with $4 only! Haha....the books and lots of drinks lah!! Haha....yeps.... anw, i told my mum that if my bros dun get A* for maths and chem, i'll pay her back the cost of the book. ANd my mama's reply was that if they get A* for maths and science, the twins will have to polish my army boots for me!! Hahaa.... that's how simple my family is.
Anw, if ure reading this, my mum cooked something special today. Yep.... that "special dish" she'll cook when tt special day comes. Haha....anw.... its for tmr! Haha.... her off day tmr.... waH! I am super duper lucky lah! 3 out of 30 days and what's the possibility of it being tmr! Hehehe..... see...... i'm not a bad son afterall rite! haha!! I'll giv her 53 kisses tmr!! =)
Received "tips" from Nizar and Ronaldo on how to remember Organic reagents and conditions. BOth said its easy and tt much practice will make u remember automatically. I really hope so! GOnna definitely try! I mean....do!
Before returning my collection, i wenta the mosque to pray. And happened to chance upon this book called the tafsir. It's a book that goes into explaining the meaning of every sentence in the Quran-- not simply mere translation. Theres ard 10 thick books in total..... haha...cozz there's so much explaning to do. I just read 5 pages, and was really hooked lah. And that 5 pages is about 4 sentences in the Quran and the story behind it. For that 10mins, i felt as though i was really there in the scene lah. Gonna ask my teacher more abt Tafsir and see if its possible to get hold of the books a.s.a.p.
Life is short. Who noes whether or not i'll even make it for the first paper of the As....
Tc..
Coz the other two frens of mine simply stood still and asked for donations while i walked up and down the aisle to collect. Haha.... well... quite fun...haha.... was really a good way to end flag day. The next time Flag Day comes to mind, i'll definitely think of today.
Spent $40+ on Maths and science assesment books and revision notes for my 2 bros. GOnna ask mum to "kill" TV for the next two months. Gonna start drilling my bros man! And drill myself too at the same time... haiz....
Ate lunch at LJS. WAh damn hungry lah! haha.... Ate while two others watched-- my sling bag and the books i just bought. =P
i left home with $60 and came home with $4 only! Haha....the books and lots of drinks lah!! Haha....yeps.... anw, i told my mum that if my bros dun get A* for maths and chem, i'll pay her back the cost of the book. ANd my mama's reply was that if they get A* for maths and science, the twins will have to polish my army boots for me!! Hahaa.... that's how simple my family is.
Anw, if ure reading this, my mum cooked something special today. Yep.... that "special dish" she'll cook when tt special day comes. Haha....anw.... its for tmr! Haha.... her off day tmr.... waH! I am super duper lucky lah! 3 out of 30 days and what's the possibility of it being tmr! Hehehe..... see...... i'm not a bad son afterall rite! haha!! I'll giv her 53 kisses tmr!! =)
Received "tips" from Nizar and Ronaldo on how to remember Organic reagents and conditions. BOth said its easy and tt much practice will make u remember automatically. I really hope so! GOnna definitely try! I mean....do!
Before returning my collection, i wenta the mosque to pray. And happened to chance upon this book called the tafsir. It's a book that goes into explaining the meaning of every sentence in the Quran-- not simply mere translation. Theres ard 10 thick books in total..... haha...cozz there's so much explaning to do. I just read 5 pages, and was really hooked lah. And that 5 pages is about 4 sentences in the Quran and the story behind it. For that 10mins, i felt as though i was really there in the scene lah. Gonna ask my teacher more abt Tafsir and see if its possible to get hold of the books a.s.a.p.
Life is short. Who noes whether or not i'll even make it for the first paper of the As....
Tc..
Saturday, August 27, 2005
fatigue..
The last time i wrote "fatigue" as a title was way way back during the times of soccer and training. How time flies....
Thinking back abt those times...... i have to say that the first thing the comes to my mind was the moment i was dropped from the team. Still remember that evening preety vividly. And how my life almost went downhill....and how i was always doing work alone here and there and everywhere....DEn came the first time i ever went home so late lah. Was talking talking and talking while doing werk wif old frens, and a new one.Haha.... And ever since, studying in skool till late became a norm.
And things looked slightly better ever since.....till the June Hols.... when my jc life plateaud. Nothing much done during the hols....led to my ok grades in mids(which i think i got by luck).... and slacked here and there coz the next major exam was so far away.....
Normal move for me.... and 17 days before tt major exam.... fear, panic and stress sank in. I'm like....not surprised at all. Expected. Gotta do sthg bout it lah.... and quick. Hate to keep saying this and not doing anything bout it.
Gonna dig out basic exercises for maths and stregthen my concepts. Kind of late... but i just got to do this. LIke someone said, everything i'm going thru rite now is something that's self-inflicted. I have no one to blame but myself.... but that's life i guess.
Gonna start cherishing life and studies and friends. Just watched the second last episode of Smallville.... skool's ended and everyone's going seperate ways. Kind of feel the sadness of leaving school.... i imagined myself in Clark's shoes.... am really gonna be afraid of the big question mark that's waiting for me out there.... and am also gonna miss my frens.
SO in order to graduate happily...i noe i gotta get decent grades lah. NO more takling crap lah... haha.... i think i gonna do some stuffs later. Haiz..... final flag day tmr... finally can clear 80hrs.
Talking abt flag day, heard the J1s now no need to do CIP. Well, then who's gonna help these charitable org sia? Volunteers? Cmon..... this is Singapore we're talking abt. Everyone's doing one thing in order to get another. Haiz... Its just too bad.
Took some class pictures for the yearbook. Wah..... can really feel the end that''s nearing. That this life i'm in will soon become memories. Some of which i'll throw away, while some i'll always carry with me.
And what i'll say next can only be understooded by some ppl in my class...u guys noe who u are...
............Dots......they come in numbers......take for instance these 3 dots...or these 5 dots.....or these 6 dots......haha.... no matter how many dots there are, they still carry no hidden meanings and stuffs like dat. Their job is to show that thinking is in progress.... i dun noe what to write....hmmm.... I bet u dun count how many dots i typed everytime i typed in the dots rite? Haha...... So really ......no hidden meanings......no whatever Grace thought it was...... haha...... really......believe me......believe me......believe me......dots are just dots......
And i dun think u realise that i've been typing 6 dots for the last 10 "......"
That's bcoz dots are just dots. Nothing more.
---and i cant believe u guys say that the space b/w the 2nd and 3rd dot is wider lah!!!! Haha.... like so fake lah!
Well..... it was nice lah.... having such frens ard....haha....grace esp.....always doin this kind of things one lah! Always bully me....hehe....
Haha.... life may seem sucky when i see it from an angle. But when i looked from a new angle altogether, i see that my life's not so bad afterall.
Anw.... my bros got back results for the prelim maths. One passed and one failed. One got 50 and the other got 45. Sien! Really lah.... haiz... better do sthg abt it lah..... if not, then i've not done my job as a big brother.
=)
Thinking back abt those times...... i have to say that the first thing the comes to my mind was the moment i was dropped from the team. Still remember that evening preety vividly. And how my life almost went downhill....and how i was always doing work alone here and there and everywhere....DEn came the first time i ever went home so late lah. Was talking talking and talking while doing werk wif old frens, and a new one.Haha.... And ever since, studying in skool till late became a norm.
And things looked slightly better ever since.....till the June Hols.... when my jc life plateaud. Nothing much done during the hols....led to my ok grades in mids(which i think i got by luck).... and slacked here and there coz the next major exam was so far away.....
Normal move for me.... and 17 days before tt major exam.... fear, panic and stress sank in. I'm like....not surprised at all. Expected. Gotta do sthg bout it lah.... and quick. Hate to keep saying this and not doing anything bout it.
Gonna dig out basic exercises for maths and stregthen my concepts. Kind of late... but i just got to do this. LIke someone said, everything i'm going thru rite now is something that's self-inflicted. I have no one to blame but myself.... but that's life i guess.
Gonna start cherishing life and studies and friends. Just watched the second last episode of Smallville.... skool's ended and everyone's going seperate ways. Kind of feel the sadness of leaving school.... i imagined myself in Clark's shoes.... am really gonna be afraid of the big question mark that's waiting for me out there.... and am also gonna miss my frens.
SO in order to graduate happily...i noe i gotta get decent grades lah. NO more takling crap lah... haha.... i think i gonna do some stuffs later. Haiz..... final flag day tmr... finally can clear 80hrs.
Talking abt flag day, heard the J1s now no need to do CIP. Well, then who's gonna help these charitable org sia? Volunteers? Cmon..... this is Singapore we're talking abt. Everyone's doing one thing in order to get another. Haiz... Its just too bad.
Took some class pictures for the yearbook. Wah..... can really feel the end that''s nearing. That this life i'm in will soon become memories. Some of which i'll throw away, while some i'll always carry with me.
And what i'll say next can only be understooded by some ppl in my class...u guys noe who u are...
............Dots......they come in numbers......take for instance these 3 dots...or these 5 dots.....or these 6 dots......haha.... no matter how many dots there are, they still carry no hidden meanings and stuffs like dat. Their job is to show that thinking is in progress.... i dun noe what to write....hmmm.... I bet u dun count how many dots i typed everytime i typed in the dots rite? Haha...... So really ......no hidden meanings......no whatever Grace thought it was...... haha...... really......believe me......believe me......believe me......dots are just dots......
And i dun think u realise that i've been typing 6 dots for the last 10 "......"
That's bcoz dots are just dots. Nothing more.
---and i cant believe u guys say that the space b/w the 2nd and 3rd dot is wider lah!!!! Haha.... like so fake lah!
Well..... it was nice lah.... having such frens ard....haha....grace esp.....always doin this kind of things one lah! Always bully me....hehe....
Haha.... life may seem sucky when i see it from an angle. But when i looked from a new angle altogether, i see that my life's not so bad afterall.
Anw.... my bros got back results for the prelim maths. One passed and one failed. One got 50 and the other got 45. Sien! Really lah.... haiz... better do sthg abt it lah..... if not, then i've not done my job as a big brother.
=)
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Aren't u scared?
This qn can also be asked as "Aren't u stress?" ..
Haiz.... yuying's and hock's qn were playing in my mind all the way home just now. Am i scared? Am i stressed? I asked myself the same qn.
ERm....yah? ERm.....of coz? Were my answers to their qn.
But sthg happened just moments ago that made me make up my blur mind as to whether i'm scared or not.
Mum was telling me sthg when i stepped outof my room after putting my bag. She could barely end her first sentence when i turned back and went back inside my room. Dunnoe why lah....i noe its rude to like walk out from her conversation just like dat..... but i simply did. Mum did kind of say i was being rude. Den when i went back out, i asked one of my brothers sthg-- to which he never answered properly. I simply smacked him hard on his face. Ouch....i noe.... but i wasnt in the mood for jokes.
I was "possesed". Possessed by the two qns my frens recently asked me. WHile bathing, i was asking myself.... what had i just done? Why did i did what i did? What was i thinking?
ANd i went back to my room after tt, noticed tears in my bro's eyes. ANd wenta prayed. My mind wasnt really focussed. Qns after qns popped up in my head.
ANd finally it dawned onto me....
.....i am scared. I am stressed. Totally!
This is precisely why i refuse to say out loud that i'm stress. That i'm scared. I'm scared i might lose control of myself and do stupid things. Hahas... yea...well, but thx to them, i now hav to come to terms wif my stress and do sthg abt it.
Thx guys...
Haiz.... yuying's and hock's qn were playing in my mind all the way home just now. Am i scared? Am i stressed? I asked myself the same qn.
ERm....yah? ERm.....of coz? Were my answers to their qn.
But sthg happened just moments ago that made me make up my blur mind as to whether i'm scared or not.
Mum was telling me sthg when i stepped outof my room after putting my bag. She could barely end her first sentence when i turned back and went back inside my room. Dunnoe why lah....i noe its rude to like walk out from her conversation just like dat..... but i simply did. Mum did kind of say i was being rude. Den when i went back out, i asked one of my brothers sthg-- to which he never answered properly. I simply smacked him hard on his face. Ouch....i noe.... but i wasnt in the mood for jokes.
I was "possesed". Possessed by the two qns my frens recently asked me. WHile bathing, i was asking myself.... what had i just done? Why did i did what i did? What was i thinking?
ANd i went back to my room after tt, noticed tears in my bro's eyes. ANd wenta prayed. My mind wasnt really focussed. Qns after qns popped up in my head.
ANd finally it dawned onto me....
.....i am scared. I am stressed. Totally!
This is precisely why i refuse to say out loud that i'm stress. That i'm scared. I'm scared i might lose control of myself and do stupid things. Hahas... yea...well, but thx to them, i now hav to come to terms wif my stress and do sthg abt it.
Thx guys...
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Hees....
See how funny it'll be if i dun elaborate on what i say...
*Was it hazy after it rained or is my eyesight getting worse and worse?
*Is it purely coincidental or did two ppl suddenly began to think alike?
*Telling mum abt the possibility of me not doing well for As would mean tt i'll be lowering my own expectations-- and tis is not a wise thing to do....
*Others think tt i hv wat i takes to make it. Why cant i think the same way as them? I guess i'll hv to start frm now.... and look for the Big C tt must've dropped somewhere...
*We're flying the wrong flags. U took mine and i took urs.
Enuff of merely writing topic sentences. Today was so shiok lah. Can feel tt it's a short day. Did stuffs alone.Fell asleep while doing integrations. Haha... WEnta some empty classrooms and packed my files. Bought some files. Am all organised now.
Did differential eqns. Hmm....quite an ok topic....except for the application part. Gonna do Pure Maths test this Friday. Haas....better start preparing for it.
Hate to say this but yeps, i'm gonna plan my next 20 days.
AND OH! I got tHIS weird story to share. It'll just take less than a minute.
I was in the toilet besides the physics lab-- alone. Was washing my face and when i looked in the mirror.... i saw a woman's face lah!!!!!!!!ARGH!!!!! Den IT disappeared.
haha....tt'll be an ideal story to tell.... but i guess tt wasnt what happened. I was washing my face. Den suddenly, the handdryer suddenly made the noise it normally made when got "hand" below it. I looked at the dryer and it stopped. Man.... it was 6+ and i was alone in the toilet. My heartbeat jumped by dunnoe how many times lah. But i was calm. Frighteningly calm.....
Picked up my stuffs and hurried outside. Once outside, i mumbled to myself..
..."Scary..."
Hahah..... but i think i wasnt hearing things, coz there was a roll of toilet roll on the dryer and the danggling toilet paper was moving after the dryer stopped. hmm.....
I wasnt that afraid. But at least now, i noe i'll never go into any toilet alone again!!
*Was it hazy after it rained or is my eyesight getting worse and worse?
*Is it purely coincidental or did two ppl suddenly began to think alike?
*Telling mum abt the possibility of me not doing well for As would mean tt i'll be lowering my own expectations-- and tis is not a wise thing to do....
*Others think tt i hv wat i takes to make it. Why cant i think the same way as them? I guess i'll hv to start frm now.... and look for the Big C tt must've dropped somewhere...
*We're flying the wrong flags. U took mine and i took urs.
Enuff of merely writing topic sentences. Today was so shiok lah. Can feel tt it's a short day. Did stuffs alone.Fell asleep while doing integrations. Haha... WEnta some empty classrooms and packed my files. Bought some files. Am all organised now.
Did differential eqns. Hmm....quite an ok topic....except for the application part. Gonna do Pure Maths test this Friday. Haas....better start preparing for it.
Hate to say this but yeps, i'm gonna plan my next 20 days.
AND OH! I got tHIS weird story to share. It'll just take less than a minute.
I was in the toilet besides the physics lab-- alone. Was washing my face and when i looked in the mirror.... i saw a woman's face lah!!!!!!!!ARGH!!!!! Den IT disappeared.
haha....tt'll be an ideal story to tell.... but i guess tt wasnt what happened. I was washing my face. Den suddenly, the handdryer suddenly made the noise it normally made when got "hand" below it. I looked at the dryer and it stopped. Man.... it was 6+ and i was alone in the toilet. My heartbeat jumped by dunnoe how many times lah. But i was calm. Frighteningly calm.....
Picked up my stuffs and hurried outside. Once outside, i mumbled to myself..
..."Scary..."
Hahah..... but i think i wasnt hearing things, coz there was a roll of toilet roll on the dryer and the danggling toilet paper was moving after the dryer stopped. hmm.....
I wasnt that afraid. But at least now, i noe i'll never go into any toilet alone again!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Also very tiring....
WAh! Today damn sleepy lah. Was half asleep and half awake during physics lecture. I think Mr Ari knew...coz when i was like almost dozing off, he walked near my side of the LT. Haha.... lucky he never "shoot" me in front of everyone. Skool ended early today for it was the beginning of the shortened time table.
-Though many in class felt that the time table we hv now is almost the same to what we always had.... haha!-
Anw, Mr Lim(HOD PE) made the Nday Rally yesterday really exciting lah! Haha... sad to say i missed it coz came back home rather late ytd. I think there'll be a rerun or sthg.
**Kim had been "warned" during lunch** .....hhahaha....
Spent an hour sleeping in the libry- behind the encyclopadia shelf- when i was awoken by a girl who wanted to read the encyclopadias....haha.... and i was almost in dreamland lor!! Hhaa...so walked away...said sorry if i was disturbing (she was the one who shuld say sorry lah!haha...kd..) Den ended up walking ard skool for a while-- eyes were red and tired. Haha....Spent the rest of the afternoon at the old place..... and heard this "unimaginable" story from Chee Guan who retold what Yao Hui was telling him a few minutes earlier. Coz u see, i was sitting close to them when Yao hui was telling CG sthg. I chose not to hear lah coz like they say, eavesdropping is no good.LOL....
Anw,i can imagine precisely what'll happen to me if sthg liddat were to happen to me! Haha....
Gotta rush the stupid SA paper which i'm supposed to hv completed some 2 weeks ago. Den do abit of revision. Must try to see maths and chem and physics from a new angle-- an angle that'll make me want to remain buried under my notes for the rest of my life.
-Though many in class felt that the time table we hv now is almost the same to what we always had.... haha!-
Anw, Mr Lim(HOD PE) made the Nday Rally yesterday really exciting lah! Haha... sad to say i missed it coz came back home rather late ytd. I think there'll be a rerun or sthg.
**Kim had been "warned" during lunch** .....hhahaha....
Spent an hour sleeping in the libry- behind the encyclopadia shelf- when i was awoken by a girl who wanted to read the encyclopadias....haha.... and i was almost in dreamland lor!! Hhaa...so walked away...said sorry if i was disturbing (she was the one who shuld say sorry lah!haha...kd..) Den ended up walking ard skool for a while-- eyes were red and tired. Haha....Spent the rest of the afternoon at the old place..... and heard this "unimaginable" story from Chee Guan who retold what Yao Hui was telling him a few minutes earlier. Coz u see, i was sitting close to them when Yao hui was telling CG sthg. I chose not to hear lah coz like they say, eavesdropping is no good.LOL....
Anw,i can imagine precisely what'll happen to me if sthg liddat were to happen to me! Haha....
Gotta rush the stupid SA paper which i'm supposed to hv completed some 2 weeks ago. Den do abit of revision. Must try to see maths and chem and physics from a new angle-- an angle that'll make me want to remain buried under my notes for the rest of my life.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
zzzz
Almost a full day at my cuz place. Till 315am lor. Haha....slept while doing my organic chem. Yeah, decided to bring sthg to do in case there's nthg to do.
Wif regards tp my As, there's pressure from the family sia, as in the big family. Everyone thinks i can sure do it. Haha.... to a large extent, quite true, if i put in the effort. One of my cuz told me to put in consistent effort all the way and peak. Hope i can peak in time. Got 80 more daes onli. Another of my cuz says i cant afford to fail coz everyone is expecting me to pass. Haha.... -driven-
Gotta bond wif other family members today. So fun!
CAnt believe i'm blogging when i'm supposed to be sleeping.... haha.... just bored i guess..
Wif regards tp my As, there's pressure from the family sia, as in the big family. Everyone thinks i can sure do it. Haha.... to a large extent, quite true, if i put in the effort. One of my cuz told me to put in consistent effort all the way and peak. Hope i can peak in time. Got 80 more daes onli. Another of my cuz says i cant afford to fail coz everyone is expecting me to pass. Haha.... -driven-
Gotta bond wif other family members today. So fun!
CAnt believe i'm blogging when i'm supposed to be sleeping.... haha.... just bored i guess..
Saturday...
Wenta Geylang to accompany mama to look for her clothes. Walked round and round and we didnt buy anything. Gurls.... haha.... Realised that baju kurung for girls all super ex lah-- like above $50 one. Hmm....sometimes i feel this is why some guys chooose to have boyfrens instead. LOL!!!
Just for me to read about in future: This Wednesday was a very stressful day for me. 4 periods physics. Cant even understand simple concepts and forgotten my DC. Felt like giving up then and there. it was a really painful day lah. Felt like crying..but i din lah...haha...To think that physics was my best paper for the midyears. This just goes to show how much i have to do to succeed in the As.
Gotta go to my cuz house again later......and i cant find any decent clothes to wear. Almost all my clothes are for house wear only! COz i very very veery seldom set foot out of home. Sien.... I guess the first thing i'll do when the time is right is to go out get some decent looking clothes to wear. Haha....
And mama said that if i get good marks for my As, she'll buy for me those glasses that can change color according to light..... hhaa.... may seem small to others, and to a small extent, to me as well...... but that simply showed me that she wants me to do well, and she expects me to bring home good grades even though she didnt really say it....
What inspires me? My mum..... and someone....just someone...haha....tis someone will be a someone no-one excepts me and only me will know....
Just for me to read about in future: This Wednesday was a very stressful day for me. 4 periods physics. Cant even understand simple concepts and forgotten my DC. Felt like giving up then and there. it was a really painful day lah. Felt like crying..but i din lah...haha...To think that physics was my best paper for the midyears. This just goes to show how much i have to do to succeed in the As.
Gotta go to my cuz house again later......and i cant find any decent clothes to wear. Almost all my clothes are for house wear only! COz i very very veery seldom set foot out of home. Sien.... I guess the first thing i'll do when the time is right is to go out get some decent looking clothes to wear. Haha....
And mama said that if i get good marks for my As, she'll buy for me those glasses that can change color according to light..... hhaa.... may seem small to others, and to a small extent, to me as well...... but that simply showed me that she wants me to do well, and she expects me to bring home good grades even though she didnt really say it....
What inspires me? My mum..... and someone....just someone...haha....tis someone will be a someone no-one excepts me and only me will know....
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Chemistry
Was back home eatly today. Was supposed to go to my cuz house to help out coz his wedding's tmr. Got back and found out mum's home. She's supposed to be there already-- if not for her headache. So gonna wait till she feels slightly better coz i did talk to her and she said that it's getting better.
Went to read the papers,and almost fell asleep. Then there's this VS hoo-hah i heard abt but didnt really noe wat its abt. Heard they wanna change it to a co-ed skool. No wonder Hock and Gene's msn nick all got VS thingys one. icic....
*********
Wenta watch TV. Some old show....shown a couple of years back-- Chemistry. Abt the guy and the girl who switched bodies. The show's damn nice. Was "hooked" to it on its debut episode, unlike Shooting Stars. Well...... they talked abt relationship and love and blah blah..... and the only thing that's going thru my mind was "Chemistry".
Some how it feels like this was the word that i was looking for. Dunnoe for what exactly...
Hmm...... chemistry....
*********
Some how, someone...just a someone... rekindled my interest in religion. It's great to have ppl like one ard to help "mould" one for the better... haha....Finally borrowed the Quran w translations from my mum to find out more abt what i've been reading since i was a small child but not understanding any of the things i read. Kind of felt that one shuld really try to read and UNDERSTAND what one reads. Really.... it takes one to a whole new level of understanding and appreciation of the text...
*********
I dun think i'll be online this couple of nights...... sien....
Went to read the papers,and almost fell asleep. Then there's this VS hoo-hah i heard abt but didnt really noe wat its abt. Heard they wanna change it to a co-ed skool. No wonder Hock and Gene's msn nick all got VS thingys one. icic....
*********
Wenta watch TV. Some old show....shown a couple of years back-- Chemistry. Abt the guy and the girl who switched bodies. The show's damn nice. Was "hooked" to it on its debut episode, unlike Shooting Stars. Well...... they talked abt relationship and love and blah blah..... and the only thing that's going thru my mind was "Chemistry".
Some how it feels like this was the word that i was looking for. Dunnoe for what exactly...
Hmm...... chemistry....
*********
Some how, someone...just a someone... rekindled my interest in religion. It's great to have ppl like one ard to help "mould" one for the better... haha....Finally borrowed the Quran w translations from my mum to find out more abt what i've been reading since i was a small child but not understanding any of the things i read. Kind of felt that one shuld really try to read and UNDERSTAND what one reads. Really.... it takes one to a whole new level of understanding and appreciation of the text...
*********
I dun think i'll be online this couple of nights...... sien....
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Proud
Was woken by my mum's voice this morning...she was in the living room making a fuss abt something. Wonder it was.... Went out to find out...
SHe said tt she ruined my dad's uniform. Coz u see, my dad just got 4 new sets of uniform-- new designs. And out of the 4, 3 was ruined coz she washed onli 3. Dad had told mum not to wash his uniform along wif other clothes. ANd mum...DID not wash them with other clothes the first time round but seeing that the color didn't seem to run, she washed them together wif the rest yesterday. And the bright yellow portion of the shirt became almost bluish-grey.Boy was my mum worried. It was barely a week old lah!
Dad was out for a while and was on his way home....
In my mind, i see Dad shouting and scolding my mum... typical of the man i grew up to know. BUt upon hearing what happened to his uniforms, he just said that he HAD told mum that the uniforms shuld be washed seperately and that what he could do now is just wear the last saved uniform for five days a week. Mum did say earlier that what she could do now is to wait till dad got home from work and wash his shirt. Haha....
Well, i was wrong lah. Dad didnt erupt violently as i had expected. He didnt live up to my expectation of the man i grew up to know. He didnt seem like the man i thot i knew. Respect.
Very very very proud of him. =)
Haha....
I've also been wanting to talk abt this. Me and my bros. The time is ticking. They are counting down till the days i go to NS. aha... Boys... they are growing up. No more hugs and kisses and what not. Yes i noe they're almost 12.... but.. how i wish they'll remain the small kids i knew. Haiz.... the older they become... the harder it'll be to hug and kiss and what not.... quite sien lah.....might sound like i'm making a big fuss out of nthg but it is a BIG thing to me lah.. haha.....
well..... GDnitez i guess...
SHe said tt she ruined my dad's uniform. Coz u see, my dad just got 4 new sets of uniform-- new designs. And out of the 4, 3 was ruined coz she washed onli 3. Dad had told mum not to wash his uniform along wif other clothes. ANd mum...DID not wash them with other clothes the first time round but seeing that the color didn't seem to run, she washed them together wif the rest yesterday. And the bright yellow portion of the shirt became almost bluish-grey.Boy was my mum worried. It was barely a week old lah!
Dad was out for a while and was on his way home....
In my mind, i see Dad shouting and scolding my mum... typical of the man i grew up to know. BUt upon hearing what happened to his uniforms, he just said that he HAD told mum that the uniforms shuld be washed seperately and that what he could do now is just wear the last saved uniform for five days a week. Mum did say earlier that what she could do now is to wait till dad got home from work and wash his shirt. Haha....
Well, i was wrong lah. Dad didnt erupt violently as i had expected. He didnt live up to my expectation of the man i grew up to know. He didnt seem like the man i thot i knew. Respect.
Very very very proud of him. =)
Haha....
I've also been wanting to talk abt this. Me and my bros. The time is ticking. They are counting down till the days i go to NS. aha... Boys... they are growing up. No more hugs and kisses and what not. Yes i noe they're almost 12.... but.. how i wish they'll remain the small kids i knew. Haiz.... the older they become... the harder it'll be to hug and kiss and what not.... quite sien lah.....might sound like i'm making a big fuss out of nthg but it is a BIG thing to me lah.. haha.....
well..... GDnitez i guess...
Stupid CIP...
Was checking out my skool buzz account...see my cip over 60 or not.. skali todae i see, my total CIP was like 72hrs45mins. The last time i counted, i know shuld have onli 61-62 hrs lah! Dunnoe how come suddenly like so much. Like do 8 more hrs can get past 80hrs mark. So yea.... signed up for 2 more short flagdays just to get my mind off CIP! haha...
so now my mind's foccused on academics onli!! ..no more ccas and cip to worry abt....
Yeah!!...Castle green.... here i come..
so now my mind's foccused on academics onli!! ..no more ccas and cip to worry abt....
Yeah!!...Castle green.... here i come..
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Kingdom of Heaven
Juz watched kingdom of heavens. Been wanting to see it 4 so long now.
Islam vs Christianity. THe armies were huge. The battles were epic.The Christians acted rashly. THe Muslims were more prepared. Ballian was a good leader. And Salledin was a great king. Inta end, the Christians were given safe passage outof Jerusalem and Muslims took over the city. If only this was still the case now....
It was remarked that the Muslims who were attacking the city weren't even born when the Christians first butchered the Muslims and captured Jerusalem. But i have this to say....regardless of whether one has already been born or not, it does not matter. The land belong to Muslims.....and till the end of the world, we Muslims will fight for our land...
ANd ah Hock doin Analogue while i was reliving my past. But it was all worth the hours.
It was hIstory at its best. The first movie that felt so close to my heart... God is great....Allahu Akbar...
Islam vs Christianity. THe armies were huge. The battles were epic.The Christians acted rashly. THe Muslims were more prepared. Ballian was a good leader. And Salledin was a great king. Inta end, the Christians were given safe passage outof Jerusalem and Muslims took over the city. If only this was still the case now....
It was remarked that the Muslims who were attacking the city weren't even born when the Christians first butchered the Muslims and captured Jerusalem. But i have this to say....regardless of whether one has already been born or not, it does not matter. The land belong to Muslims.....and till the end of the world, we Muslims will fight for our land...
ANd ah Hock doin Analogue while i was reliving my past. But it was all worth the hours.
It was hIstory at its best. The first movie that felt so close to my heart... God is great....Allahu Akbar...
Fridae....
Disclaimer: MY entry today lacked organistion. Theres no smooth flow to it. Am just writing what i'm thinking....and i noe that my fingers cant match the rate of flow of my thoughts.
Lets start of with skool first shall we. Today was the short day--just chem and Gp. Haiyah, although i did kindof bragged abt ending skool early, i din really wanted to do so lah. Haha....was kindof needed somewhere to blurt out all the stuffs i never did for a really long time. Maybe that "suanning" day was one of those "really cannot take it anymore" time. Haha....
Hmm...its rather stupid of me to like tell my day on my blog. So i guess it'll be more of thoughts and stuffs like dat. I seem to hv found a keen interest in my chemistry. Yea....not too late yet. I simply gotto start some where...
Its my physics thats kind of worrying me.Although i got a D for it, i seem to be like scared of the subject. Its like i get restless during physics lessons and like cant wait for the lesson to end. There's no more "keen interest" like i used too. I think RAdioactivity and Nuclear thingy is my major weakness in physics and this is scaring me to pieces. And i cant seem to be able to do like anything related to physics with confidence. Perhaps its just a psychological barrier within my complex mind but.... i guess it may also b due to me not really preparing for lessons. haiz.... i guess, i simply have to stop fretting over nothing and start from somewhere...."coz we got to start from somewhere, rite?"
AND I very very very sad today lah. I was really lookin forward to the testimonial match. I wanted to play and run thru defences and score goals-- in other words, have fun. BUt barely a minute after stepping on the field, i went out and sat on the bench. After another couple of minutes, i changed back into skool u.
My groin damn pain. Dunnoe how i pulled the muscle lah! But damn pain. Cant like over stretch it by abit. Meaning i cant really jog nor run nor shoot. Cant even walk w/o caution lah. Damn sad. Was really looking forward to today's game. haiz.....
After tt, wenta BBQ at castle green. For the dunnoe how many times, i went against the norm. Haha.... wanted to reject and skip today's bbq lah but...dunnoe leh... Ali says he wants to be a bit less isolated so yea...
Quite fun...but me being the lousy me, i was the quiet guy. And ppl were like askin me why i very serious.... quiet.. and when Ali talked to ALi, he remembered that he was really the opposite of what he is right now lah. I was the saboking, the joker...lol....the gay,...haha.... haiz....but as i grow up, i simply change i guess. Quiet? Shy? Haha.... well...dunnoe leh..
And my sec 4 classmate all the teeth nice sia. Most wore braces then and now ok liao. Wah...sien....jealous. Well, who doesnt want a nice set of teeth. One can laugh without others laughing at him. One can smile without being the butt of jokes. Haiz..sien.... but me being more pious...haha...ya rite.... i kind of accept it lah. But wen the normal human side of me appears, i kind of envy them lah. But... haha....ex lah.... my dad says if want this kind of "extra" things wait till i go work and make my own money. Haha....wah...liddat by the time my teeth ok, ppl all married already. Hahaha....
the M word again sia. Haha....maybe its normal to think and talk abt the M thing when one's 18.....or approaching 18 tt is.
Was relaxing by the pool wif the rest while waiting for the food to cook. Looked ard....wah....how i wish i could reside in such a place. So relaxing and romantic... haha...like at hotel one.... haha..... I guess this will be a motivator for the time being. I wanna get good grades so tt i could land a good job so tt i can stay in a beautiful place like Castle green. Haha...but really....it is indeed a beautiful place.
waaaah....groin really really hurts lah. And i really really wanted to play. Why cant others see tt i really want to play? Why must others see it as an act-- that i am nervous or other stupid stuffs liddat? Cmon.... haha....maybe coz of e fact tt i always "lie" ....and "give excuses" is the reason why frens think twice b4 believing me.... which i guess, is the reason why i chose to be quiet. Hehe...Dun wanna give any silly remarks or say anything stupid that will haunt me in future... haiz..
...Life... u cant please everyone....what's impt is tt i m happy... haha.....i m feeling sappy now though.....Sad+hAPPY ...
Lets start of with skool first shall we. Today was the short day--just chem and Gp. Haiyah, although i did kindof bragged abt ending skool early, i din really wanted to do so lah. Haha....was kindof needed somewhere to blurt out all the stuffs i never did for a really long time. Maybe that "suanning" day was one of those "really cannot take it anymore" time. Haha....
Hmm...its rather stupid of me to like tell my day on my blog. So i guess it'll be more of thoughts and stuffs like dat. I seem to hv found a keen interest in my chemistry. Yea....not too late yet. I simply gotto start some where...
Its my physics thats kind of worrying me.Although i got a D for it, i seem to be like scared of the subject. Its like i get restless during physics lessons and like cant wait for the lesson to end. There's no more "keen interest" like i used too. I think RAdioactivity and Nuclear thingy is my major weakness in physics and this is scaring me to pieces. And i cant seem to be able to do like anything related to physics with confidence. Perhaps its just a psychological barrier within my complex mind but.... i guess it may also b due to me not really preparing for lessons. haiz.... i guess, i simply have to stop fretting over nothing and start from somewhere...."coz we got to start from somewhere, rite?"
AND I very very very sad today lah. I was really lookin forward to the testimonial match. I wanted to play and run thru defences and score goals-- in other words, have fun. BUt barely a minute after stepping on the field, i went out and sat on the bench. After another couple of minutes, i changed back into skool u.
My groin damn pain. Dunnoe how i pulled the muscle lah! But damn pain. Cant like over stretch it by abit. Meaning i cant really jog nor run nor shoot. Cant even walk w/o caution lah. Damn sad. Was really looking forward to today's game. haiz.....
After tt, wenta BBQ at castle green. For the dunnoe how many times, i went against the norm. Haha.... wanted to reject and skip today's bbq lah but...dunnoe leh... Ali says he wants to be a bit less isolated so yea...
Quite fun...but me being the lousy me, i was the quiet guy. And ppl were like askin me why i very serious.... quiet.. and when Ali talked to ALi, he remembered that he was really the opposite of what he is right now lah. I was the saboking, the joker...lol....the gay,...haha.... haiz....but as i grow up, i simply change i guess. Quiet? Shy? Haha.... well...dunnoe leh..
And my sec 4 classmate all the teeth nice sia. Most wore braces then and now ok liao. Wah...sien....jealous. Well, who doesnt want a nice set of teeth. One can laugh without others laughing at him. One can smile without being the butt of jokes. Haiz..sien.... but me being more pious...haha...ya rite.... i kind of accept it lah. But wen the normal human side of me appears, i kind of envy them lah. But... haha....ex lah.... my dad says if want this kind of "extra" things wait till i go work and make my own money. Haha....wah...liddat by the time my teeth ok, ppl all married already. Hahaha....
the M word again sia. Haha....maybe its normal to think and talk abt the M thing when one's 18.....or approaching 18 tt is.
Was relaxing by the pool wif the rest while waiting for the food to cook. Looked ard....wah....how i wish i could reside in such a place. So relaxing and romantic... haha...like at hotel one.... haha..... I guess this will be a motivator for the time being. I wanna get good grades so tt i could land a good job so tt i can stay in a beautiful place like Castle green. Haha...but really....it is indeed a beautiful place.
waaaah....groin really really hurts lah. And i really really wanted to play. Why cant others see tt i really want to play? Why must others see it as an act-- that i am nervous or other stupid stuffs liddat? Cmon.... haha....maybe coz of e fact tt i always "lie" ....and "give excuses" is the reason why frens think twice b4 believing me.... which i guess, is the reason why i chose to be quiet. Hehe...Dun wanna give any silly remarks or say anything stupid that will haunt me in future... haiz..
...Life... u cant please everyone....what's impt is tt i m happy... haha.....i m feeling sappy now though.....Sad+hAPPY ...
Friday, August 12, 2005
AJcians must have thought that Bridge is now optional
Today's Bridge (some fancy way of calling the GP "remedial" session) was rather pathetic lah. Well in my LT, only 10+ ppl turned up. ANd i dare say that these 10+ ppl were definitely the ones who want As for GP. LOL!!! ...-k/d-
Then as for other LTs, heard that attendance was a measely 20%. AJcians rawks man. Haha.... damn slacked lor.... haha.... tsk tsk tsk...
LOl.... aiya.... just gotta admit that i just dun have the guts to skip lecture lah! Haha... =)
Hmm....wentta the AJ moblog thingy and read a couple of things.... kindda sick of reading "essay-like entries" lah. Really. The joy a writer gets from writing may not nescessarily translate to the joy we readers may feel. Haha....which is why i guess i shall end here.
Then as for other LTs, heard that attendance was a measely 20%. AJcians rawks man. Haha.... damn slacked lor.... haha.... tsk tsk tsk...
LOl.... aiya.... just gotta admit that i just dun have the guts to skip lecture lah! Haha... =)
Hmm....wentta the AJ moblog thingy and read a couple of things.... kindda sick of reading "essay-like entries" lah. Really. The joy a writer gets from writing may not nescessarily translate to the joy we readers may feel. Haha....which is why i guess i shall end here.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
End of the "long weekend"...what hv i done exactly?
I really needed to hear sthg. Dunnoe what, but just something. I did my usual routine when i logged on to the net. See how many ppl wenta my blog today. See if got anyone other than that ONE who wenta the other blog i hv....See if there's any upd8 on someone's blog.... read that ONE blog... and ...haha...read that STHG that i needed to hear. It goes like this...
(I'd like to kind of destroy the stucture of the excerpt,in case this ONE minds abt the prospect of having 10% of ONE's entry on another's blog)
the ONE mentioned tt tho it's really kind of a veri veri late start, we just got to start somewhere rite? And really, it's kind of impossible if u wanna start with full force in 1 nite. So from tonite onwards, u muz resolve to do at least some work everynight. make it a must. ya knows. then slowly, day by day, u add to ur own workload so tt u gradually go into full force.(Now the writer feels that she is reaching the really cool part. She says she came up with this analogy and am quite proud of it.[Comment:Quite only ar?haha])
It goes like this,
" yup, studying is like running. you start off, then you accelerate till you reach your full speed and then you keep the momentum going till the end of the race!!"
....... wahaha. I came up with that! hehehe. im not bad ehh?? haha.
...Minus all the singlish and grammatical errors, it was really sthg i needed to hear. Although technically i read it, its as though i could hear the writer say it to me. Ya know, those kind u see on TV when someone reads a letter by someone else and a voice(the writer of the letter's voice) would be heard reading the letter to that someone. ^_^V.... cheem huh...but yea. I think that fellow blogger must've gotten it from Google or sthg...haaha...cant be that profound rite? hehehe...k/d
So i guess i shall keep blogging to a minimum. Though i think it'll only be like me swiming across the English Channel--highly unlikely!=P (I dun tink i can survive 1/2 an hour in the Big pool. Do they call it the big pool or the deep pool?I dun really recall...haha..)
But i guess,from tonite onwards, i must resolve to blog less--maybe cut each entry short by a word each day. And this shall continue till i forgot the URL of the site that hosts my blog or worse come to worse, till i forgot my username and password. Wow! Scary sia....
Haha.Slowly... Byez.
(I'd like to kind of destroy the stucture of the excerpt,in case this ONE minds abt the prospect of having 10% of ONE's entry on another's blog)
the ONE mentioned tt tho it's really kind of a veri veri late start, we just got to start somewhere rite? And really, it's kind of impossible if u wanna start with full force in 1 nite. So from tonite onwards, u muz resolve to do at least some work everynight. make it a must. ya knows. then slowly, day by day, u add to ur own workload so tt u gradually go into full force.(Now the writer feels that she is reaching the really cool part. She says she came up with this analogy and am quite proud of it.[Comment:Quite only ar?haha])
It goes like this,
" yup, studying is like running. you start off, then you accelerate till you reach your full speed and then you keep the momentum going till the end of the race!!"
....... wahaha. I came up with that! hehehe. im not bad ehh?? haha.
...Minus all the singlish and grammatical errors, it was really sthg i needed to hear. Although technically i read it, its as though i could hear the writer say it to me. Ya know, those kind u see on TV when someone reads a letter by someone else and a voice(the writer of the letter's voice) would be heard reading the letter to that someone. ^_^V.... cheem huh...but yea. I think that fellow blogger must've gotten it from Google or sthg...haaha...cant be that profound rite? hehehe...k/d
So i guess i shall keep blogging to a minimum. Though i think it'll only be like me swiming across the English Channel--highly unlikely!=P (I dun tink i can survive 1/2 an hour in the Big pool. Do they call it the big pool or the deep pool?I dun really recall...haha..)
But i guess,from tonite onwards, i must resolve to blog less--maybe cut each entry short by a word each day. And this shall continue till i forgot the URL of the site that hosts my blog or worse come to worse, till i forgot my username and password. Wow! Scary sia....
Haha.Slowly... Byez.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Only minutes into a new day
....only minutes into a new day and i forgot abt the lousy day i had. U made my day. Hahaha...thx!
I'd like to thank u....and hock(thx 4 e no. and the reminder and not forgetting the breakfast)... and my mum..hhaha!If she hadnt subscribed to the net, I wonder how i'll interact wif my frens and do small things for special pple. =)
Thanks a super duper million billion gazilliiiiiiion and 3 thankyou!
On a difft note, my sis got scolded by mama tonite for going out wif her frens to celebrate N Day and coming home late.
Frens of mine, this is the reason why i dun go out often even though i'd love to.
I'd like to thank u....and hock(thx 4 e no. and the reminder and not forgetting the breakfast)... and my mum..hhaha!If she hadnt subscribed to the net, I wonder how i'll interact wif my frens and do small things for special pple. =)
Thanks a super duper million billion gazilliiiiiiion and 3 thankyou!
On a difft note, my sis got scolded by mama tonite for going out wif her frens to celebrate N Day and coming home late.
Frens of mine, this is the reason why i dun go out often even though i'd love to.
Lousy day...
Watched Initial D todae. nOt at the movies and Dun ask where i got it from.... but this one happens to have no subtitles. Sien... but me having this knack of visualising what they're saying, i kind of enjoyed the show. POwer..!
Did some stuffs here and there. Nothing much...
Then wanted to do some work in the afternoon but decide to lie down on the bed thinkin abt me and my future. Haha... -unusual- But it was kind of the wrong move, coz i ended up sleeping for SIX long hours w/o interruptions. Cos u see, my bros and sis were out the whole day. And mum and dad and grandma sort off went out in the afternoon w/o me realising it. Haha...
Den caught the national day celebration on TV. Kindof boring i must say. Esp when they began showing celebrations in the heartlands. SOme of the performance do not seem suitable for the occasion...like the fire-twirling thing at Yishun. Caught the 17-minutes fireworks display.I wonder what it'll be like to be there watchin it. I only saw fireworks close up during the NDP preview when i was a 10-year-old. HAha...
And after that, i went straight into my room to do chem equilibria. My mugging has been kind of slow man... And at 11pm,i glanced at Hock's nick--> "Shooting Stars".
I was like o_0..... omg omg omg omg!!!!! To think tt i hv been waiting to see how Sly act for dunnoe how many weeks now and i actually forgot abt the debut episode!! Argh!!! WASTED!
Well... i guess it's just a lousy day. Betta go do my work now. BB..
Did some stuffs here and there. Nothing much...
Then wanted to do some work in the afternoon but decide to lie down on the bed thinkin abt me and my future. Haha... -unusual- But it was kind of the wrong move, coz i ended up sleeping for SIX long hours w/o interruptions. Cos u see, my bros and sis were out the whole day. And mum and dad and grandma sort off went out in the afternoon w/o me realising it. Haha...
Den caught the national day celebration on TV. Kindof boring i must say. Esp when they began showing celebrations in the heartlands. SOme of the performance do not seem suitable for the occasion...like the fire-twirling thing at Yishun. Caught the 17-minutes fireworks display.I wonder what it'll be like to be there watchin it. I only saw fireworks close up during the NDP preview when i was a 10-year-old. HAha...
And after that, i went straight into my room to do chem equilibria. My mugging has been kind of slow man... And at 11pm,i glanced at Hock's nick--> "Shooting Stars".
I was like o_0..... omg omg omg omg!!!!! To think tt i hv been waiting to see how Sly act for dunnoe how many weeks now and i actually forgot abt the debut episode!! Argh!!! WASTED!
Well... i guess it's just a lousy day. Betta go do my work now. BB..
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Today in history.... special day tt'll be etched in my heart
Touched
I stepped out of my house this morning, and was greeted by the sight of dark clouds. We'll most likely hv our picnic in our classrooms. I was standing outside the library waiting for our classrooms to be unlocked.... and received my 2 essays. Was damn happie i got 28 and 29 marks. Coz never have i gotten anything higher than a 25. Here's where i was touched. Eugene came up to me carrying a box of Hotcakes from Mac. And he said, "Hock buy this for u". I was really really touched by his gesture though i repeatedly told him over msn that i can take care of my own self. Haha..... and .... was really touched lah. Can't thank him enuff...waah Hock, that was totally unexpected. But i wonder... how come it was Eugene and not u who passed it to me. Haha.... damn touched.
Anw, the class sat in three groups as usual... haha... yea....and Yinlu and Jinlu could really kick the chapteh lah....and btw AJ's National Day celebration super duper boring.
Hanging out
Hock asked me if i wanted to join them play pool. And my first rxn was "hmm...". Then it was a "my mum haben giv me my allowance yet". In my mind, I knew that this was sthg i always do when frens asked me out.... then i told hock, "see how.... most probably can". Haha.... and i did go.
On the way to City Hall, on the train, i met this guy who said hi to me and we started to converse. Black pants and white shirt and a black name tag on his breast pocket, i knew who he was, or at least where he's coming from. He shook my hand and said his name was Elder Johanston and asked my name, where i'm going, what'll i be doing there and whether or not i'm Singaporean. He also commented that Singapore's a big city to which i replied, it's rather small.That's when he said he's American and doing some volunteering work for church thing. Haha.... Wasted sia he alighting at Orchard.... if not we could have an "interesting" conversation. Lol... I always wonder why these ppl are sent out on the streets.... u dun see any other organised religions doing this sortof things...
Anw, Marina Square was the destination. And we walked thru the citylink thingy for the second time in my life. Saw lots of beautiful and colourful things. Was going up the escalator when i learnt abt a very special day. Haha.... dun wanna say it here but they thot i knew. They really thot i knew. I really dun. Anw, i m the kind of guy who wun bother abt such things. But somehow, its like a totally difft issue now. Just different. But to be frank, i never actually did any sorts of things for anyone in my entire life. But i realise that even w/o them telling me, there has got to be a first for everything. Hhaha... and while playing pool...my mind was in fact elsewhere lah...(though me and gene won Sherman's team 6 times lah)... well back to the story, I was in a world of disbelief.... i can t believe that it's just 2 days away. Haha....Hock kind of took me by surprise there....
Really.......i have never done this sort of things before. But for some funny reason, I just feel as though i ought to at least do sthg. Haha.... ok ok... better not think out loud anymore...
After pool, Hock told me that i was bored. Haa.... he said he could tell from my facial expression. Ermm... besides the fact that i realise understanding Chinese would make things less boring.... i wasnt bored lah......my mind was elsewhere... haha... u noe wat i mean...
Den decided to go home.... but b4 that, took a walk along the Bay. Haha.... Hock told me that it is quite nice to walk there with your girlfriend. But since i got none, i decided to walk there with someone i love.... haha.... my own self lah! Yea.... anw... the view not that nice lah. The water so dirty. The water smell like sea water....erm....maybe it is seawater...ya... While walking, I decided that i may not make it home in time for the second prayer of the day, and i noe theres a mosque somewhere in the area. I asked a guy who told me its below the UOB building, which was not that far from the Esplanade. haha... so i walked along the bay and across the bridge....the bridge seems to be the one i keep seeing on Chinese dramas.... haha.... maybe at night romantic lah....i dunnoe. Then i saw merlion and i din realise got a baby one as well lah. And after asking ard for directions, i reached the place and did my prayers there.
After all that comes the funny thing....i wanted to walk ard,"see the world"... and that was when i started walking in circles. Haa... was damn lost there lah.... haha.... after walking in abt 3 or 4 BIG circles.... i ended up walking in front of Parliament House...then...at the Padang... then finally at City Hall Mrt. I learnt sthg new today. My definition of "town" is definitely much wider now. haha.... really... Singapore's not that small afterall.
Well, thats abt it i guess.... rather interesting day, to me...
Had gotten this book "Today In History"
I know what i'll put for today and for 10 Aug
Special days tt i'll remember
Though it took me by surprise
Owe it to Hock though
Really...thanks
You're one of a kind
...both of you...
Simply dun noe what's gotten into me
Probably nthg,
End of JC life is near i guess
Can't believe it's almost over when thing's just getting started
I believe the teachers were right afterall, 2 years is a short time
Amazing 2 years, amazing frens,and hopefully, an amazing ending
Last lap...my last lap....your last lap...make it count
I stepped out of my house this morning, and was greeted by the sight of dark clouds. We'll most likely hv our picnic in our classrooms. I was standing outside the library waiting for our classrooms to be unlocked.... and received my 2 essays. Was damn happie i got 28 and 29 marks. Coz never have i gotten anything higher than a 25. Here's where i was touched. Eugene came up to me carrying a box of Hotcakes from Mac. And he said, "Hock buy this for u". I was really really touched by his gesture though i repeatedly told him over msn that i can take care of my own self. Haha..... and .... was really touched lah. Can't thank him enuff...waah Hock, that was totally unexpected. But i wonder... how come it was Eugene and not u who passed it to me. Haha.... damn touched.
Anw, the class sat in three groups as usual... haha... yea....and Yinlu and Jinlu could really kick the chapteh lah....and btw AJ's National Day celebration super duper boring.
Hanging out
Hock asked me if i wanted to join them play pool. And my first rxn was "hmm...". Then it was a "my mum haben giv me my allowance yet". In my mind, I knew that this was sthg i always do when frens asked me out.... then i told hock, "see how.... most probably can". Haha.... and i did go.
On the way to City Hall, on the train, i met this guy who said hi to me and we started to converse. Black pants and white shirt and a black name tag on his breast pocket, i knew who he was, or at least where he's coming from. He shook my hand and said his name was Elder Johanston and asked my name, where i'm going, what'll i be doing there and whether or not i'm Singaporean. He also commented that Singapore's a big city to which i replied, it's rather small.That's when he said he's American and doing some volunteering work for church thing. Haha.... Wasted sia he alighting at Orchard.... if not we could have an "interesting" conversation. Lol... I always wonder why these ppl are sent out on the streets.... u dun see any other organised religions doing this sortof things...
Anw, Marina Square was the destination. And we walked thru the citylink thingy for the second time in my life. Saw lots of beautiful and colourful things. Was going up the escalator when i learnt abt a very special day. Haha.... dun wanna say it here but they thot i knew. They really thot i knew. I really dun. Anw, i m the kind of guy who wun bother abt such things. But somehow, its like a totally difft issue now. Just different. But to be frank, i never actually did any sorts of things for anyone in my entire life. But i realise that even w/o them telling me, there has got to be a first for everything. Hhaha... and while playing pool...my mind was in fact elsewhere lah...(though me and gene won Sherman's team 6 times lah)... well back to the story, I was in a world of disbelief.... i can t believe that it's just 2 days away. Haha....Hock kind of took me by surprise there....
Really.......i have never done this sort of things before. But for some funny reason, I just feel as though i ought to at least do sthg. Haha.... ok ok... better not think out loud anymore...
After pool, Hock told me that i was bored. Haa.... he said he could tell from my facial expression. Ermm... besides the fact that i realise understanding Chinese would make things less boring.... i wasnt bored lah......my mind was elsewhere... haha... u noe wat i mean...
Den decided to go home.... but b4 that, took a walk along the Bay. Haha.... Hock told me that it is quite nice to walk there with your girlfriend. But since i got none, i decided to walk there with someone i love.... haha.... my own self lah! Yea.... anw... the view not that nice lah. The water so dirty. The water smell like sea water....erm....maybe it is seawater...ya... While walking, I decided that i may not make it home in time for the second prayer of the day, and i noe theres a mosque somewhere in the area. I asked a guy who told me its below the UOB building, which was not that far from the Esplanade. haha... so i walked along the bay and across the bridge....the bridge seems to be the one i keep seeing on Chinese dramas.... haha.... maybe at night romantic lah....i dunnoe. Then i saw merlion and i din realise got a baby one as well lah. And after asking ard for directions, i reached the place and did my prayers there.
After all that comes the funny thing....i wanted to walk ard,"see the world"... and that was when i started walking in circles. Haa... was damn lost there lah.... haha.... after walking in abt 3 or 4 BIG circles.... i ended up walking in front of Parliament House...then...at the Padang... then finally at City Hall Mrt. I learnt sthg new today. My definition of "town" is definitely much wider now. haha.... really... Singapore's not that small afterall.
Well, thats abt it i guess.... rather interesting day, to me...
Had gotten this book "Today In History"
I know what i'll put for today and for 10 Aug
Special days tt i'll remember
Though it took me by surprise
Owe it to Hock though
Really...thanks
You're one of a kind
...both of you...
Simply dun noe what's gotten into me
Probably nthg,
End of JC life is near i guess
Can't believe it's almost over when thing's just getting started
I believe the teachers were right afterall, 2 years is a short time
Amazing 2 years, amazing frens,and hopefully, an amazing ending
Last lap...my last lap....your last lap...make it count
Monday, August 8, 2005
ND prep -- 8 Aug 05
Kind of disappointed wif the way i handled the preparations for ND celebration tmr. With regards to the Reflections project... i kind of sabo-ed Grace to do it. Eugene got mad though... and though Grace, as usual, dun mind....she's always nice. But i kind of mind, for not actually askin for volunteers. Actually, i din think i sabo-ed her...well, its a long story though.
Anw, Grace did it by herself, i think, and had already submitted it. Really am thankful to her. Thanks GRACE. But am disappointed at myself though for not having allocated the task professionally.
Then for the mascot competition, i kind of sabo-ed Hock for it. And got lots of F words and fingers from him for it. Well, i sort of asked for it lah. Who likes being sabo-ed? I was like the saboking in sec skool lah and when i kena saboed, i hated the feeling lah. Anw, i knew exactly how hock felt. And oh, Hock aint gonna be the mascot tme coz the gurls decided to do it. I guess Ms Tan got kind of sick of me not get anything decided for during tt meeting and told a grp of girls to handle it. So yea.... disappointed...
And there's also the finger food section. Again, din allocate jobs to anyone. Ended up with Alista and co. doing it. Budden... i guess Alista doin it mostly on her own? And guess what, i kind of sabo-ed Alista to be in charge lah. I noe tt someone has to be in charge coz if not, a grp might not function properly. So i kind of "asked" Alista if she could be the one. In a way, sabo-ed her. Feel damn bad abt it lah!
Next is the picnic, Hock sort of volunteered to be ic. And after loads of discussions yesterday nite, we ended up wif bread, kaya and jam. BUT then, when i logged in tonite, i learnt that there'll be ham and bee hoon. Initially, i din noe wats ham lah.... but later learned tt it was pork. Haiz.... sien.... ppl do err i guess. BUt i really thot they should take ME into consideration, shouldnt they? Though i am but a speck of dust. And Hock did his best and asked Hp to make the bee hoon as halal as possible. Appreciated it Hock. But then, the utensils she used to prepare the bee hoon would have been infected by unhalal stuffs. Or like i always put it "Infected by pork molecules". Someone once told me that religion is meant for the past and how it is no longer relevant in the modern world. How religion restricts its followers and other "rational" thoughts atheists would normally think off. BUt nevertheless, i totally disagree with such arguments and wish that such atheists would know what'll happen to them on Judgement day and rethink....
Anw, Hock seems worried abt me not eating tmr.... haha... the makings of a good leader i guess...(and i noe at this juncture,hock will say "eeyer").. but to be honest, i m actually being fussy. Dun blame my religion. Blame me. If anyone's thinking tt my religion is "restricting" my life that is... haha...
But me being the one who's willing to sacrifice for anyone, i dun mind. Let's not say "17 vs 1, i concede". Lets just say that i've got to learn how to survive in a dog eat dog world.
Thus, on the whole, i kind of failed to get anything done with a proper system. Disappointed.
When i try to be like others and simply heck here and heck there, i am like lying to myself. Coz it aint me. When i try to forget abt rules, i noe i really am lying to myself. Coz whatever values he may have within him can never be deleted or editted no matter what others say abt his values. Coz the values have been running thru his blood ever since the day he was born. Thats how it has been for the past 17 years and that s how it'll be till the end of time.
Always trying to be everyone else but himself
Loves himself more than anyone else...haha...
I wonder why
And hock hv been doing work like 24-7. He reminded me to practice maths. Which reminds me, i better switch on my engine to slightly higher speed.
Hock,
Our entries may differ in length
Cos evn if i do write more, it doesnt mean that my life's more fun
Knowing that u find joy in the things u do is most impt
Anw, Grace did it by herself, i think, and had already submitted it. Really am thankful to her. Thanks GRACE. But am disappointed at myself though for not having allocated the task professionally.
Then for the mascot competition, i kind of sabo-ed Hock for it. And got lots of F words and fingers from him for it. Well, i sort of asked for it lah. Who likes being sabo-ed? I was like the saboking in sec skool lah and when i kena saboed, i hated the feeling lah. Anw, i knew exactly how hock felt. And oh, Hock aint gonna be the mascot tme coz the gurls decided to do it. I guess Ms Tan got kind of sick of me not get anything decided for during tt meeting and told a grp of girls to handle it. So yea.... disappointed...
And there's also the finger food section. Again, din allocate jobs to anyone. Ended up with Alista and co. doing it. Budden... i guess Alista doin it mostly on her own? And guess what, i kind of sabo-ed Alista to be in charge lah. I noe tt someone has to be in charge coz if not, a grp might not function properly. So i kind of "asked" Alista if she could be the one. In a way, sabo-ed her. Feel damn bad abt it lah!
Next is the picnic, Hock sort of volunteered to be ic. And after loads of discussions yesterday nite, we ended up wif bread, kaya and jam. BUT then, when i logged in tonite, i learnt that there'll be ham and bee hoon. Initially, i din noe wats ham lah.... but later learned tt it was pork. Haiz.... sien.... ppl do err i guess. BUt i really thot they should take ME into consideration, shouldnt they? Though i am but a speck of dust. And Hock did his best and asked Hp to make the bee hoon as halal as possible. Appreciated it Hock. But then, the utensils she used to prepare the bee hoon would have been infected by unhalal stuffs. Or like i always put it "Infected by pork molecules". Someone once told me that religion is meant for the past and how it is no longer relevant in the modern world. How religion restricts its followers and other "rational" thoughts atheists would normally think off. BUt nevertheless, i totally disagree with such arguments and wish that such atheists would know what'll happen to them on Judgement day and rethink....
Anw, Hock seems worried abt me not eating tmr.... haha... the makings of a good leader i guess...(and i noe at this juncture,hock will say "eeyer").. but to be honest, i m actually being fussy. Dun blame my religion. Blame me. If anyone's thinking tt my religion is "restricting" my life that is... haha...
But me being the one who's willing to sacrifice for anyone, i dun mind. Let's not say "17 vs 1, i concede". Lets just say that i've got to learn how to survive in a dog eat dog world.
Thus, on the whole, i kind of failed to get anything done with a proper system. Disappointed.
When i try to be like others and simply heck here and heck there, i am like lying to myself. Coz it aint me. When i try to forget abt rules, i noe i really am lying to myself. Coz whatever values he may have within him can never be deleted or editted no matter what others say abt his values. Coz the values have been running thru his blood ever since the day he was born. Thats how it has been for the past 17 years and that s how it'll be till the end of time.
Always trying to be everyone else but himself
Loves himself more than anyone else...haha...
I wonder why
And hock hv been doing work like 24-7. He reminded me to practice maths. Which reminds me, i better switch on my engine to slightly higher speed.
Hock,
Our entries may differ in length
Cos evn if i do write more, it doesnt mean that my life's more fun
Knowing that u find joy in the things u do is most impt
Sunday, August 7, 2005
Of guys and gals....
I forgot to mention tt ladies rocks! I dare say 90% of those who donated were NOT males. So despite ladies being crazie abt shoes and all material stuffs..... they are also most generous. heh...
And hope i din suan u a suan too far. Sowie...
And hope i din suan u a suan too far. Sowie...
A to Z
A guy i noe din noe how long it'll take to reach town
Becoz of that, he left home late..... and reached the collection point late
Cos u see, he got confused by the exits at Dhoby Gaught
D was the exit to get to PS but he could only see exits A and B
Exitted wrongly i guess....coz he din realise tt the station was bigger than he tot
Followed kids who seemed to be heading for PS...haha...lucky him
Got to Starbucks(collection point) 5 minutes late....but its okay...nthg happend..
Hurried back down to J8 where we were told to go and sell flags
I...or he rather... went to "the usual place" behind Bishan station to sell flags
Just as he thought,tt walkway near e overhead bridge's THE ideal place 2 stand
Kindly and politely asked passers-by, "Excuse me...would u like to donate?"
Luckily, MOST of them obliged .... and...
Most of them asked things like, "is this for..
NKF?".... haha.... and "How much is ur CEO's pay?"...
Of course my fren can't figure out why the public are so mad abt the NKF fiasco
Plain ignorance on his part i guess...kekeke...
Quickly and diligently he walked up & down he aisle selling flags until he,
Ran out of flags and it's only been 3 hrs...
Seven eleven was his first pit-stop.... he bought a Slurpee
Then, he walked round J8 in isolation.... seeing new things-- clothes,bags,shoes
Ultimately, hunger struck, and he went to the Mac behind the interchange
Very kindly asked the lady for a McSpicy Double meal--Plain,Upsize,Twister fries
What was he doing? Had my fren forgotten about his jaw problem?
Xtra chilli sauce and curry sauce, I asked, before sinking into my "breakfast"
Yy seems to hv forgotten abt this flag day i guess...haha
Zoomed his way back to PS after lunch to get more flags!
Hhaaahaha.... sien man... The English people should have created more than just A to Z. Lol. Anw, after lunch, i wenta PS again to get more flags. And then headed back to Bishan to sell flags.
Was quite fun hassling ppl for donations. One thing i learned, its good not to be shy when ure selling flags coz the public are more afraid of u than u are afraid of them. Haa.... what more, they'll feel even badder when they don't donate than u would(feel paiseh) when they do not donate. Coz some of them said they're in a rush and walked a couple of steps away frm me before coming back and say "Why not..." haha.... so kind... Then got ppl who says they cant donate coz their hands are full.... it was either full of shopping stuffs or full of running children. But there's this man who got 4 big bags of groceries, and when i asked him for donations, he stopped and put his bags on the ground and donated lah! So did Liang Pei(if i get her name rite). She's a J1 from AJsoccer.... guo xing's fren..she's carrying 2 boxes of canned drinks in plastic carriers on both her hands but still, smiled, put the carriers down and donated! Must be coz of me wearing AJ shirt lah..... AJcians are really supportive of each other i guess. Theres other AJcians who donated too...
And by 4, went to the mosque at AMK to do normal stuffs.... haha.... and went back to PS to return the bag. Was quite glad that the guy commented that my bag was the heaviest so far.... and come to think of it, i was 20 minues late when handing in my bag supposed to hand in at 5...so yea... haha.... quite glad i helped out lah... that's when i looked at the AJ list and noticed that yy didnt turn up....wahlao! SO bad..... haha....
Oh ya, during my trip back to PS.... i decided to take a different exit. The one must go thru lots of escalators. Quite lost inside lah... simply went with the flow. I din noe must go down then go up again...... and all that lah!.. haha...
And the next scary part was when i exited at PS. INSIDE PS. Damn lost inside. I cant find my way out of the building lah. Haha.... so went up and up until i saw DAYLIGHT. lol... so tts when i submitted my bag and all.
And after that, walked round PS....in isolation. Haha..... Man... if i thot Heeren was big,.... PS was super duper humongous lah! 7 story man. Not counting the basements. So walked round every level. Saw more beautiful clothes -- beautiful price tags too. More bags.... shoes...perfumes... haha.... power lah. When i reached the sixth floor, boy did the fear of height sank in. But since i applied to be a pilot, i must shake this fear off me! So i stood at the ledge, and looked at the so many ppl walking around. ANd i can bet that only one or two was walking alone. ANd those were the cleaners..lol...
Haha.... and i gave the seventh floor a miss coz it was GV. And what can i see up there. Haha.... not sure of what i'll see though ... coz the last time i went to a cine was in primary 3. HAa... got good grades for maths.... so all the good graders were treated to "George of the Jungle"...
So yeps, decided to go home after that....coz i wanna reach home by seven.Coz now, i noe that i takes at least 40 mins from Dhoby Gaught to SEmbawang. Lol...
And also, i din noe 6 oclock the train damn packed lah. Haha..... from DG to Marina Bay got what oso i dunnoe. Whats there at City Hall and Raffles Place and Marina BAy until the train so full! Haha.... well.... at least i learned sthg new... haha...
And on ,my way home, did MCQs on Equilibria before putting my TYS aside and slept, coz i almost dropped my pencil and tys while doing it lah! Wait the other passengers see i malu lah!
So yups! Today was an eye opener.... so many things to see out there....
Indeed, it was for me, a self-discovery...
Becoz of that, he left home late..... and reached the collection point late
Cos u see, he got confused by the exits at Dhoby Gaught
D was the exit to get to PS but he could only see exits A and B
Exitted wrongly i guess....coz he din realise tt the station was bigger than he tot
Followed kids who seemed to be heading for PS...haha...lucky him
Got to Starbucks(collection point) 5 minutes late....but its okay...nthg happend..
Hurried back down to J8 where we were told to go and sell flags
I...or he rather... went to "the usual place" behind Bishan station to sell flags
Just as he thought,tt walkway near e overhead bridge's THE ideal place 2 stand
Kindly and politely asked passers-by, "Excuse me...would u like to donate?"
Luckily, MOST of them obliged .... and...
Most of them asked things like, "is this for..
NKF?".... haha.... and "How much is ur CEO's pay?"...
Of course my fren can't figure out why the public are so mad abt the NKF fiasco
Plain ignorance on his part i guess...kekeke...
Quickly and diligently he walked up & down he aisle selling flags until he,
Ran out of flags and it's only been 3 hrs...
Seven eleven was his first pit-stop.... he bought a Slurpee
Then, he walked round J8 in isolation.... seeing new things-- clothes,bags,shoes
Ultimately, hunger struck, and he went to the Mac behind the interchange
Very kindly asked the lady for a McSpicy Double meal--Plain,Upsize,Twister fries
What was he doing? Had my fren forgotten about his jaw problem?
Xtra chilli sauce and curry sauce, I asked, before sinking into my "breakfast"
Yy seems to hv forgotten abt this flag day i guess...haha
Zoomed his way back to PS after lunch to get more flags!
Hhaaahaha.... sien man... The English people should have created more than just A to Z. Lol. Anw, after lunch, i wenta PS again to get more flags. And then headed back to Bishan to sell flags.
Was quite fun hassling ppl for donations. One thing i learned, its good not to be shy when ure selling flags coz the public are more afraid of u than u are afraid of them. Haa.... what more, they'll feel even badder when they don't donate than u would(feel paiseh) when they do not donate. Coz some of them said they're in a rush and walked a couple of steps away frm me before coming back and say "Why not..." haha.... so kind... Then got ppl who says they cant donate coz their hands are full.... it was either full of shopping stuffs or full of running children. But there's this man who got 4 big bags of groceries, and when i asked him for donations, he stopped and put his bags on the ground and donated lah! So did Liang Pei(if i get her name rite). She's a J1 from AJsoccer.... guo xing's fren..she's carrying 2 boxes of canned drinks in plastic carriers on both her hands but still, smiled, put the carriers down and donated! Must be coz of me wearing AJ shirt lah..... AJcians are really supportive of each other i guess. Theres other AJcians who donated too...
And by 4, went to the mosque at AMK to do normal stuffs.... haha.... and went back to PS to return the bag. Was quite glad that the guy commented that my bag was the heaviest so far.... and come to think of it, i was 20 minues late when handing in my bag supposed to hand in at 5...so yea... haha.... quite glad i helped out lah... that's when i looked at the AJ list and noticed that yy didnt turn up....wahlao! SO bad..... haha....
Oh ya, during my trip back to PS.... i decided to take a different exit. The one must go thru lots of escalators. Quite lost inside lah... simply went with the flow. I din noe must go down then go up again...... and all that lah!.. haha...
And the next scary part was when i exited at PS. INSIDE PS. Damn lost inside. I cant find my way out of the building lah. Haha.... so went up and up until i saw DAYLIGHT. lol... so tts when i submitted my bag and all.
And after that, walked round PS....in isolation. Haha..... Man... if i thot Heeren was big,.... PS was super duper humongous lah! 7 story man. Not counting the basements. So walked round every level. Saw more beautiful clothes -- beautiful price tags too. More bags.... shoes...perfumes... haha.... power lah. When i reached the sixth floor, boy did the fear of height sank in. But since i applied to be a pilot, i must shake this fear off me! So i stood at the ledge, and looked at the so many ppl walking around. ANd i can bet that only one or two was walking alone. ANd those were the cleaners..lol...
Haha.... and i gave the seventh floor a miss coz it was GV. And what can i see up there. Haha.... not sure of what i'll see though ... coz the last time i went to a cine was in primary 3. HAa... got good grades for maths.... so all the good graders were treated to "George of the Jungle"...
So yeps, decided to go home after that....coz i wanna reach home by seven.Coz now, i noe that i takes at least 40 mins from Dhoby Gaught to SEmbawang. Lol...
And also, i din noe 6 oclock the train damn packed lah. Haha..... from DG to Marina Bay got what oso i dunnoe. Whats there at City Hall and Raffles Place and Marina BAy until the train so full! Haha.... well.... at least i learned sthg new... haha...
And on ,my way home, did MCQs on Equilibria before putting my TYS aside and slept, coz i almost dropped my pencil and tys while doing it lah! Wait the other passengers see i malu lah!
So yups! Today was an eye opener.... so many things to see out there....
Indeed, it was for me, a self-discovery...
Saturday, August 6, 2005
-sigh-
finally..... can blog!! Woohoo... so happy =)
Found out the root of the problem juuuust an hour ago.... decided to try blogging on Internet Explorer and poof! Worked like magic. Hehe. But den....it simply can't be due to the fact that Firefox ain't just good enuff. So decided to made full use of my limited tech-knowledge and...... turns out that the problem lies in Cookies!! Haha... yea...."genius!"(haha....some word this girl uses on Smallville today)
Speaking of smallville, things are getting darker and mysterious with regards to Lex and Teague and the artifacts..... and again...Chloe saw Clark as Superman but Clark still does not know that Chloe knows his true identity. And today's episode ended with a happie ending. -glad-
Wanted to reblog abt yesterday... but i kind of forget what i wrote yesterday! *Stupid cookie*
Anw, decided that in order to get out of the vicious cycle of lonerhood, I must first learn to make important decisions. Haha. Kim messaged me yesterday asking if I want to join him play soccer today. Haha…. Ali’s first reaction would always be a no, followed by excuses taken from the “Armoury of Logical Excuses”… haha….but den, decided that firstly, it would be good exercise for me and secondly, this is a way in which I could spend “quality time” with my friends! Haha. So yea…played decent soccer with J1 soccer fellas and I bruised my knee and my muscles are all aching lah!
But shiok lah the feeling. Get to shout at ppl …. Encourage them…. Haha….Build camaraderie between ex-teammates and all… haha…. Did manage to loosen myself up abit. =)
A guy was walking home
Lanes that were dimly lit was his only way home
It was then when he smelled smoke
Many Chinese burning papers, he saw...must be that month again
Almost choked to death,anger, resentment rising within him.But
Remember, racial harmony….peace... Or is it mere tolerance
Zoomed his way home- he could no longer hold his breath any longer
Untied his shoes, and took a deep breath
Knowing that the concentration of oxygen is higher within his home
I wonder, why pollute?
Yups.... like got nthg to do now...so just blogged crap down. Flag Day tmr.... plaza sing here i come! Haha.... hmm.... better get there early coz i suspect i would get lost there! Am simply hoping that there's a map there showing me where's PS. Aint gonna look into the streetdirectory coz i wanna discover town like as though i'm a japanese tourist. Haha.... dunnoe why japanese. Maybe coz us jaVanese and jaPanese are very closely knitted--relation wise. Haha.... MArzuki... Tamagochi.... Sushi.... Ayumi Hamasaki... Takeshi.. Ali...haha...
-bored lah-
Oh ya, did an essay yesterday.... took hours to complete it and gave myself a 30/50. Haha.... suicidal i noe.... but lets see what my teacher says lah. Anw, got loads of info available on the net!! Haha... like duh...
And btw, did SAJC prelim paper 2004... haha.... spent like 15 minutes reading the text.... 15 minutes to do i think 3 short qns and vocab..... and 30 mins sleeping.... and 10 mins staring at AQ.... and 10 mins re-reading... and the last five minutes packing my pencil box. Can't take it lah! DAMN hard lah the paper. Super duper hard! Trust me.... i m not one who takes time practices lightly but today's one was an exception. Maybe SAJcians are just profound in the language....
Yups.... tts it 4 todae.....sleepy.... gonna get some rest before deciding whether to really sleep or do some work.... =)
Really am glad i could blog again....
Friday, August 5, 2005
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
Rediscovery..
I took another step and ventured into the "real world" on Sunday. ST Skool of rock competition at J8. Before i went there, talked to Kim over the MSn.We spoke for quite a long time. Talked about me and me not daring to venture into the real world and how he finds the 'values' i hold not helping my cause. And he really thinks that i need a hp to stay in contact with my frens. Feels like a loser w/o a handphone. So is how it seems others think. But personally, just feels like a sacrifice i have to make.
And kim told me how hanging out with frens is impt coz if not, "u'll be forgotten" sooner or later. ANd i never thot this was the case. As in if i see u as my fren now, u ll always be my fren..... but does this 'value' of mine deviates from others? Waah... if liddat...i must admit that i never actually did any kind of activities with frens which qualifies under the catagory "hanging out"...
anw....if my future turns out bad...must be my mama's fault.... lol..
ANw, some months back, I saw and stepped into Heeren for the first time in my life and that was like the biggest mall i ever stepped into. Lol... ya so on sunday, J8 was a lot bigger than i thot it was. Didnt really ever went inside J8. Normally it was like walking on the first floor during flag days...you know, the corridor tt leads to the interchange. And i wondered why J8 like not totally air conditioned.. ..... like -_-" . So when i went to the skool of rock competition... tt was when i realised the mall was rather big lah. But too bad got no time to sight see. Maybe soon?... haha.... if i decide to "hang out" that is... The day i "hang out" will be the day u guys should go buy 4D..sure win 1st prize one.... haha
Tired...tired....tired... and now Hock's kind of tired of hearing me saying i'm tired. So much to do... but like impossible to do. Eugene sort of say that it must be i write the things i need to do down and not actually finishing it. He say this kind of feeling very demoralising and i sort of feel he's quite true. I told him, maybe upon reaching home, i should burn my silver notebook to ashes. Forget abt the things i need to do but haven do yet... and just start anew.
And Eugene said another smart thing--that what i thought of doing was just an act of desperation. I myself feel that that's an act of escapism. Me wanting to run away from my problems instead of facing the issues i that i have and learn how to deal with it. Hmph! Never will i run away from my problems. Never will i burn my notebook...haha....a bit special one.... aside from the fact that it was actually my brother's and i took it thinking i THOT i asked for his permission and he said yes... =)
Felt like running. Away from everything.Jump off a flat and stuffs like that. Sometimes i do wonder what i am actually doing. Past entries... are they merely entries....stories that i write when i m bored? Or do they contain what i really felt i could accomplish then.... Sometimes i feel motivated and spirited.... but will only find myself fall face flat on the ground some time later...like now... partial fractions...polar...non polar....giant molecular.... they more i hang out with frens to study, the more i find myself drowning. I know i could see it in a more optimistic fashion.... like say at least i know what i do not know..... But i dun find myself doing that nowadays..... used to be the case before the hols lah. Always so confident and determined. But...
now...... while listening to Keane's Cant stop now..... i realise that i can't stop now....i've got troubles of my own... cause i'm short of time... and i can't slow down...for anyone in town...and i can't stop now....
....for no one...
Anw.... on a lighter note.... will take another step to rediscovery...this time i'll be venturing to PS for my flag day this Sat...finally my Cip can reach 60hrs.... learnt from Kim tt i must alight at Dhoby Gaught(How do i spell this mrt station?)... hmm....the rest of my journey will be a discovery....
First time i blog abt things and all but i still feel the same-- miserable....
sthg that i got to learn to get used to i guess....
And kim told me how hanging out with frens is impt coz if not, "u'll be forgotten" sooner or later. ANd i never thot this was the case. As in if i see u as my fren now, u ll always be my fren..... but does this 'value' of mine deviates from others? Waah... if liddat...i must admit that i never actually did any kind of activities with frens which qualifies under the catagory "hanging out"...
anw....if my future turns out bad...must be my mama's fault.... lol..
ANw, some months back, I saw and stepped into Heeren for the first time in my life and that was like the biggest mall i ever stepped into. Lol... ya so on sunday, J8 was a lot bigger than i thot it was. Didnt really ever went inside J8. Normally it was like walking on the first floor during flag days...you know, the corridor tt leads to the interchange. And i wondered why J8 like not totally air conditioned.. ..... like -_-" . So when i went to the skool of rock competition... tt was when i realised the mall was rather big lah. But too bad got no time to sight see. Maybe soon?... haha.... if i decide to "hang out" that is... The day i "hang out" will be the day u guys should go buy 4D..sure win 1st prize one.... haha
Tired...tired....tired... and now Hock's kind of tired of hearing me saying i'm tired. So much to do... but like impossible to do. Eugene sort of say that it must be i write the things i need to do down and not actually finishing it. He say this kind of feeling very demoralising and i sort of feel he's quite true. I told him, maybe upon reaching home, i should burn my silver notebook to ashes. Forget abt the things i need to do but haven do yet... and just start anew.
And Eugene said another smart thing--that what i thought of doing was just an act of desperation. I myself feel that that's an act of escapism. Me wanting to run away from my problems instead of facing the issues i that i have and learn how to deal with it. Hmph! Never will i run away from my problems. Never will i burn my notebook...haha....a bit special one.... aside from the fact that it was actually my brother's and i took it thinking i THOT i asked for his permission and he said yes... =)
Felt like running. Away from everything.Jump off a flat and stuffs like that. Sometimes i do wonder what i am actually doing. Past entries... are they merely entries....stories that i write when i m bored? Or do they contain what i really felt i could accomplish then.... Sometimes i feel motivated and spirited.... but will only find myself fall face flat on the ground some time later...like now... partial fractions...polar...non polar....giant molecular.... they more i hang out with frens to study, the more i find myself drowning. I know i could see it in a more optimistic fashion.... like say at least i know what i do not know..... But i dun find myself doing that nowadays..... used to be the case before the hols lah. Always so confident and determined. But...
now...... while listening to Keane's Cant stop now..... i realise that i can't stop now....i've got troubles of my own... cause i'm short of time... and i can't slow down...for anyone in town...and i can't stop now....
....for no one...
Anw.... on a lighter note.... will take another step to rediscovery...this time i'll be venturing to PS for my flag day this Sat...finally my Cip can reach 60hrs.... learnt from Kim tt i must alight at Dhoby Gaught(How do i spell this mrt station?)... hmm....the rest of my journey will be a discovery....
First time i blog abt things and all but i still feel the same-- miserable....
sthg that i got to learn to get used to i guess....
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