Time

So I didn't write for nearly 3 weeks. There's much to write and reflect about but work just makes me wanna just lie down and let the tiredness slowly dissipate.

Last Friday, my grandma was admitted to the hospital due to stroke. It's her second. Somehow I just can't help but think about my late dad's second stroke. Like dad, my grandma's stroke resulted in her loosing her ability to speak. She struggles to open her eyes. The grip of her right hand no longer as strong. The movement of her right foot the only clear sign that she's awake.

I know she hears us. Recitation of the Quran brings tears to her eyes. I whisper simple and short surahs into her ear hoping that she hears and recite it with me in her heart.

If I were in her shoes, I'd want someone by my side to read to me the Quran. To tell me stories and talk to me about nice things. I'd want someone to hold my hand or massage my feet or aching back. It must be pretty uncomfortable to be living life with your eyes closed - so hearing familiar voices might help comfort me somewhat.

Tomorrow might only be my 3rd week at work, but I'm already thinking about the end of my life. I wonder if anyone will be by my side should a similar situation happen to me. I wonder if I've done enough during the course of my life to be ready to greet the angel of Death. Having looked forward, I then look back to today and remind myself to live life carefully henceforth.

Looking at the amount of time available between now and the end, I probably need to start drafting a plan.