Saturday, July 27, 2013

I try my best to understand. To speak to them only when required coz for some reason them being older makes them too cool for small talks. I tried my best not to offend. To respect. But I guess something mustve gone wrong somewhere and I reached a point where I realize that perhaps it's not going to work. I've been pretending and lying to myself thinking that I've got it in me to wear my dad's shoes.

Lost my cool. Raised my voice. Broke my heart. I hate people who break hearts.

Probably the reason why I'm not into marriage mode despite it being encouraged and despite me being envious of parents with children at the mosque for terawih prayers is because of the fear that someday, my kids would grow up hurting me and my wife's feelings like how I'm feeling right now.

Fear prevents me from doing things. Lots of things.


Anonymous said...

Don't take it to heart. Dealing with younger siblings can be tricky, May Allah swt ease your troubles and soften their hearts. :))

How has your Ramadhan been? One day left :(

marzuki said...

Ameen and thank you for the dua. May Allah ease you too in all your affairs.

Ramadhan's been, well let's just say it could've been better. Took leave yesterday and today to play catch up with Ramadhan. :(

Funny how we let something so precious pass us by. May this Ramadhan be the one that makes us the better person that we want to be after much reflection. If it's not much to ask, make dua for me too. Any dua. (:

Anonymous said...

Of course :) Ok done! My parents always advised that if someone requests a dua of you, you should do it immediately... takut lupa lol! :)

I think it's great that you took leave. I was just commenting to a friend that it's funny how we would typically take leave for holidays and errands, but not to reap the benefits of Ramadhan by doing i'tikaf etc.

Guess it's easier for most to think about going the extra mile for tangible rewards vs intangible ones or instant vs delayed gratification. One of the negatives of the human condition :(

Happy Raya!

marzuki said...

Thank you, and Selamat Hari Raya to you too. May you have a wonderful time with family and friends!