It's been a long long while since I've written something angsty. Perhaps it's coz it's been a long long while since Mama got angry. I do not know why but I seem to have a low threshold for people who are just plain rude and selfish.
If dad was around, people would've behaved. Out of fear or out of respect, who cares. One thing I hate the most is wearing Dad's shoes as the disciplinarian. I'm not the father for goodness sake. I do not do sit-downs and ask you why you do the things you do or why you talk the way you talk. You're not my kid. You're old enough to think and decide for yourself what's good and what's not. You're wise enough to know the things Mama likes and the things she doesnt. But why do you insist on doing as you please? Why do you love to piss Mama off like it's your favourite pastime?
The curfew. The attitude. Just because one's crossed the 21 mark, one's old enough to do as one pleases? Just because one's the sole breadwinner, one has every right to do as one pleases with one's money? So chuck the mother aside coz she's just some old lady who sits at home, cooks, do laundary, wakes up early everyday to make sure we leave home on time for work or school? Or the fool who buys you stuffs when she goes out shopping, gets you the presents for birthdays, makes you soup when you're sick despite all the times you piss her off?
What's so hard about taking care of her feelings? Hadn't it occurred to you that stress won't be good for her? Why so selfish? I know you have feelings too and you have a life of your own too and who is Mama to tell you what you can or cannot do but why can't you put her before yourself?
.....Unless of course you simply can't wait for her to be gone so that you can finally live life to the fullest.
It's sad that some, if not most, of us will only be happy when our parents are anything but parents. I know nobody's perfect but one could at least try. Right?
And I then remembered a question I asked my mother a couple of days ago as I was about to leave home for school. I asked whether someone like my sister will ever change her ways. After a slight pause, she said yes. She believes that it is possible for someone like my sister to change - despite everything. She's always ever so hopeful. The reason why I too am ever so hopeful. Grow up, please....