Wednesday, November 30, 2005

zzzzzzzzzzz

Hmmm.... when i was a free man, i wanted to look for a job. And now tt i've a job, i want to be a free man. Lol.... Got my first pair of uniform. QUite leceh seh... must tuck in and wear name tag coz if not the big boss scold. Haha... i tot tis was only applicable in skool lah.

Anws, today was 7 to 7. Much much more stuffs. Much much heavier stuffs. Always on the move so there wasnt really much time to rest. ANd i really really wonder how my dad can cope doing the super duper strenuous work all by himself lah!! It's like at one pick up point, there's ard 14 parcels to transfer from the 3rd floor to his van and the parcels are huge and heavy!!!!!!!!!!! He may even hav to make 2 trips to transport all 14 parcels down lah.

Haha... and everyone's calling him an old man. Hmm.... i guess for this nature of work, 50 sthg is considered old. Lucky got young muscle man to help him out for a month....haha.. joking lah. And btw, i'm called the towkay's son. LOL...Anws, its good exercise before Ns, i tink... i just hope i dun tire myself out lah.

One of my dad's frens asked me how come i dun have handphone and he said tt i shuld start having a hp. Haha... yea yea... soon i guess. Soooooooon. =)

Hmmm..... ok lah. Starting to see tt SIngapore is more than just Sembawang, Yishun and Yio Chu Kang. There's also Bedok and Hougang too.... lol... i noe there's more lah but one estate at a time ya?

Gtg iron my uniform and sleep. And it's not even 11 yet lah. Haha... see lah, duwan to blog oso end up blogging a fairly lengthy one. Oh before i go, i tink one month working with my father will sort of make up for my past 18 years. Haha... maybe some will noe wat i'm talking abt, some might not.

To those looking for work, dun hurry too much lah. Take the opportunity to relax first lah. Haha... but just remember tt sooner or latter, u still hav to go and work. If not how to get married? Haha... TO those goin NS tis fri, LOL!!! , yeah u big guy, take care lah! If cannot tahan, report sick aje. heh.... Kalau raser lonely, just think of me and i'll be there by ur side in ur dreams -- to ease ur pain and sorrow and loneliness. HAHA!!!

k lah,..... sleepz sleepz..... nites!!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Bedtime entry...

Tonite's the earliest i'm going to bed. Slept from 5-8 just now and it was as though i worked from 7-9 lah. Haha... sleeepy.

My bros are back frm their trip and i guess the house will be noisy as always. Kind off missed their presence lah coz when they were away, ive got no one to hug or kiss or disturb. BUt i better not push it too far now coz otherwise, they'll remember that i am their number one enemy. Lol...

Well then, nthg much to blog abt tonite. hhaaha... looking forward to tmr. Looking forward to growing up, having my own job and a family to feed ... heh... By family i mean my mum and dad and grandma and siblings lah!! U all better not think too much. Lol...

Sweet dreams... (i wonder when's the next time i'll blog abt a sweet dream of mine)

sleeeepy

Am home early. Not much things came in today(lucky me). The job was preety okay lah. Went to the base somewhere off Hougang to pick up the goods to be delivered. Then deliver the parcels to various locations in the area. Had breakfast. Picked up stuffs from 3 locations to be sent to the base. And dad dropped me off at a bus stop nearby and off i went home on 854. Super dooper sleepy. I guess my sleep "early" should be a lil bit earlier. Haha....

I say its easy coz all i have to do today is to watch and learn... and deliver the light stuffs ... and collect recepients' signature. There's still the scanning bit and what not tt ive yet to learn lah. But if i wasnt there, it means my dad hav to do ALL the walking up and down and carrying the pickups and the delivery goods and not forgetting the driving part lah. Super super sleepy.

At least today i saw a peak into what he does everyday. And appreciate him more. Well, i guess i can understand why money is such a big issue in most, if not, my family. Parents leave home in the morning and reaching home at night... 5 days a week(sometimes Saturday too... sometimes Sunday) just to support the family. Despite feeling unwell, sleepy, rain or shine, they do wat they do everyday to bring home money. And it would be unfair to parents if kids were to spend money as if it was easy to get. Now i noe why it's so important as to not give him problems when he returns home from work. Now i noe why he gets angry if my sister gives him problem. After a hard day's work, parents would like to rest and take a break and if possible, spend some time with their children. As children, we must try our best to do wateva they ask of u. And try to not get too frustrated by silly little things tt parents may make -- like when ur dad wakes u up while u were sleeping just to tell u to slp in a correct position. LOl.. =)

Haha... i cant wait to grow up...!!!!

Monday, November 28, 2005

why?

Watched Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron and wth!!!!!! Horses also fall in love one meh??? haha... Nice show lah... but too much lovey dovey stuffs stuck inside my head now. HAha... Oh btw, again, the girl made the first move sia. The girl horse i mean...

I need a break from such stuffs. Wait ppl would start having the wrong impression. Haha...

Watched another neat movie too -- a "family movie" ... heh. Sweet sweet show (hmmmm... i better start looking for a substitute of the word sweet) This line I cant seem to forget: "Next time there's a ball, pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does! And not as a last resort!" A girl said this to a guy.

Shant comment too much abt this movie... someone still haven watched it yet =P

Hmmmm ..... i wonder and i wonder, why on earth do i take notice of such things when i'm watching a movie nowadays. Haha... i noe why lah. Well, gotta work tmr.... so shall sleep "early". Gd nites =)

tired...

Since i'm starting work ... help... watever ... tmr, i decided to "warm up" by going cycling and playing soccer with the kids. Wah long time never play with the kids seh.... eversince i started JC life lah! All now in sec 2 sec 3 and all can play better better than last time lah. Haha...! Run here run there super dooper tiring seh. But it was a great warm up for tmr lah. Monday is when my dad has the most work to do coz of the Saturday and Sunday break ... so.... i nd to be prepared for wat is to come. lol....

Just now, when playing soccer, got this small boy damn cute lah. He wanted to play wif us (his brother was playing) but he's only primary 1 lah... so small size. So he played with another ball by himself on the side of the court.... damn cute. Waah... primary 1 already playing soccer sia... not bad. I sec one then start... so not fair. Well... wat to do...let bygones be bygones.

I dunnoe why but i seem to notice small kids more often these days. Like the other day, i saw a grandfather and his granddaughter playing at the playground. Like so sweet lah. A dad with his son. haha... I guess i'm bored. Tt's all.

Oh ya..i just remembered that i have lockers still uncleared lah!!!! 3 of them!! hmm... one is shared with adib. I wonder if they'll clear that one. Haha.... But the other two "free" lockers still uncleared. And i must get it done latest tmr. But i start work tmr. But dennagain, i tink there's nthg inside but junk lah. But dennagain, i could be wrong. Hmm... let's hope when i return to school sometime soon, they still haven cleared the locker.

Well, i guess that's it for now...Later... =)

Sunday, November 27, 2005

A knight's tale

Just watched it. It was screened on tv some months back but i missed it. So since the house is so quiet and boring, i decided to please myself. Haha....

A very very sweet movie indeed. It offered more than i tot it would offer. Coz i tot it's simply about a peasant who managed to "change the stars" and become a knight. But, its also a fairly romantic movie indeed. Letters and poems... How the knight felt so affected by the girl. How he was willing to listen to what the girl told him to do even though he didnt want to. And i noted tt the girl was chasing after the guy. Hahaa... how i wish tis dun only happen in fairytales... heh.. The guy was sweet .... a gentleman. Well i didnt noe gentlemen have to noe how to dance lah. Haha... coz there was a party at the castle and they had to dance and all. Neat..

Which reminds me of the coming prom. Haha.... mardi gras. Wat theme. Hv fun u guys. Hmmm.... 6 dec.... i wonder what i shuld get for my brothers. A PS2? haha... but tt'll be too expensive for me. BUt it'll be fun having a PS2 lah. Hmm ... hugs and kisses? Lol .... i'm sure they'll kill me if i gave them tt. haha.. never hav i actually gotten anyone anything on their bdae and i wonder ... who'll be the lucky first... my brothers?

hmm... haha... am running out of stuffs to write. Give me inspirations leh..... well, later i guess...But before i end, here's a bit of what the knight wrote to the girl.

It is strange to think, I haven't seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. I next compete in the city of Paris, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there. Hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that I look upon you.
I dun quite understand it coz it's a bit too flowery for me. But all i noe is tt it sounded sweeet. nites!!

hmmm..

hmm.... felt different. weirdly different. haha... I guess all i can say is that i cant really explain the feeling. Sthg a tad too complicated.

wateva it is, all i noe is i'm sort of dumbstrucked rite now and cant seem to be able to write anything... hhaa..... later i guess. *smiles*

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Hmmm... friday

well since i slept l8 ytd, i woke up at noon -- the latest so far.

My bros went over to my Aunts place this evening. They'll be going on a trip to Desaru tmr so... i guess that means i hv the house and room to myself. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!! That'll me double the boredom, double the silence and double the everything lah! hmm.... not that i mind of course.

Took an hour to reconnect the DVD player. the cables werent all at the right places. Haha... and i cant believe i actually did it all on my own lah! haha... see, i'm not tt girlish afterall. Well, having just fix the thing i called a "lousy invention" a couple of days back, i've just watched The Longest Yard and Spongebob the MOvie =)

The Longest Yard was a great movie lah. hmm .... i noe i suck at retelling the movie so tonight, i wun be doing that. haha..... but the show very very nice.

Spongebob the MOvie was IRRITATINGLY irritating! Gosh.... the first few minutes, it was so freakishly childish lah! I was like "omg omg omg... i wonder how long of this i can stand!!!" But after that torturous opening, the show developed quite ok. Quite funny too. Haha... lame stuffs. But i think its a bit too lame for me though. Longest yard was by far the better of the two.

On a sidenote, my mama told me that dad would be needing my help at work. So i guess it'll be 7am - 9pm from Monday to Friday till the end of December. Hmmm .... i wouldnt be happy bout it if i had stuffs to do at home lah. But since i've nothing better to do, why not. It'll be training for Army. Heh... though my guess is, my dad's job's harder than ARmy. Hmm ... note the word "help". It means that if i get paid... it's a bonus for me. If i dun, at least it'll take the load of dad lah! Coz he's not feeling well of late. Hmm .... so i guess tis means less time to blog.

haha.... well at least i hav sthg to do now dun i? Well... nites! Later....

Friday, November 25, 2005

Harry potter 3

Just watched Harry Potter 3 .... plucked it out from somewhere like a butterfly in the Net. Go figure.

WHAT A DARK SHOW harry potter 3 is. wth.... my heart shrunk! Damn scary lah! I still cant get over the shock i got when Harry saw sthg in the crystal ball and WITHOUT WARNING, the teacher wif the "french accent" tapped on his shoulder lah! And the bit on warewolf was abit eeeyer. Dark. But overall, the story damn nice and the part when harry did the "petronas" thingy suuper dooper magical lah! ahah.... well, i'm blogging as if i've just watched The Goblet of Fire seh. Haha... Anws, speaking of Goblet of FIre, by any chance anyone of u haven watched The Goblet of Fire and wants someone to watch the movie with AND dun mind buying a ticket for that SOMEONE .... u can tell me. Coz i noe of this fella who wants to watch it but is a lil unwilling to part wif his dollars. LOL... haha... Oh btw, tis fella told me tt he believes that all except him hv watched HP4 and tt he guesses tt he'll either pluck it out from the net again or wait for the dvd to come knocking on his door or the one tt is MOST likely.... wait 6-7 years when HP4 will be screened on tv. haha..!

ok fine... "heart shrunk"??? haha... i noe u'll be like, "OMG!!! It's Harry Potter onlY!" ... but... Potterophobia??...heh... I guess HarryPotter's level of darkness is as far as i can go. No such thing as me watching free movies on tv tt goes by the name of The Sixth Sense or What lies beneath lah. hah.... tt'll make my heart vanish lah! hahaha... okok...

hmm... just like heaven seeems to be like a sweet show too. Hope one day i'll get the chance to watch it. I guess the days leading to army will be used to catch up on movies that i've yet to watch huh? lol...

jokes aside, i guess i shuld get some sleep now huh? Well.... gd nites! .. or is it morning already?

Later... =)

Expectations and the final outcome

I really wasnt expecting alot from them. I didnt set a target when i sat for PSLE. Nor did i set any target for myself when i sat for the Olevels. Neither am i setting a target for my As. The same went for my brothers. I wasnt expecting much. I knew where they stand.

Followed them to get their results and guess what.... they share the same aggregate of 213. cool huh? Twins ... wat do ya expect. But all their grades are the same except maths -- one had a B while the other a C. 213 is not a score to be proud about but they're happy and mama's happy coz they beat kids who outdo them during school exams. They beat kids whose mamas sent to tuition. All in all, i'm rather pleased lah.

The next dilemma -- their schools. 213 would make them end up in Sembawang Sec. They COULD churn out kids wif good grades(hopefully, my sis would be among them come next year) .... but frankly speaking, it's hard. Unless i guide and control them closely, they'll most likely do okay. hmm.... maybe i tink too much. must break the stereotype i've created of neighbourhood schools. They may be not up to the likes of Anderson but with someone as a guide, they should do decently in secondary schools.

The next worry for mama now -- me and my sister. I dun tink theres much to worry for my sister lah. She should be able to do sufficiently well to please mama. But me.... i'm a gone case lah. Unlike my Os where i noe i MAY have done okay, this time round, i NOE i HAVE NOT done okay. man....

well..... shall relax relax ard at home... Help my bros decide on their schools. ANd .... and i dunnoe wat else to do. haaha..

Later...

Clarification

Nizar, it's not that u forced me to go out or what lah. I WANT TO QUIT being such a homely person. I want to go out more. It's not that i'm not interested in going out lah. U see.... i said i wasnt happy, but neither was i unhappy.

The thing is, i'm still not used to going out just yet. Coz me going out with friends is like suuuper duper rare. Me giving a firm YES to outings is lagi rare. I need time to weigh things and all before coming to a firm decision. I need time. Give me time to make outings part of my life. It may seem weird to u as in, "what's so hard about going out?" This question, i cant give a straight answer.

haha.... i may seem to be not interested in going out. But believe me, i am not interested with NOT going out either. in other words, i want to go out. I guess some ppl to to practice going out with their friends. I'm one of those.

Oh btw... gonna tag along wif my bros to collect their results. My expectations? ..i'll talk about it later.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

happy?

just got home from hari raya visiting with the malay schoolmates. Wasnt tt happy lah. Neither was i unhappy. i dunnoe lah... like outings are so not my thing. I am still so so so not used to it! How long more till i'm cool with staying out seh? The feeling of hating outings after going on outings really sucks. THe more i go out, the more i hate to go out.

I would have ended the day abit better if it wasnt for Hafiz house. I WAS EXTREMELY SCARED!! PETRIFIED!! my heart was beating very very fast. And it still is now. .... i'm lousy. Worse than girls. But first time i was so so scared. Haha.. tauhid saw right thru me lah. He said i wasnt just scared... he said it was as though i just saw the angel of Death. It was THAT bad. Maybe becoz we were in Hafiz house and he closed his door and i was standing at the corner around ppl like Tauhid and Nizar and Hafiz was there carrying his cat towards me. I WAS SCARED! Thank god hafiz sayanged me and kept his cat inside lah. Any closer... i dunnoe wat'll happen lah. Truthfully, i could have jumped out of his open window lah! 4th floor somemore... Why i'm scared of cats?? I dunnoe. It's official now -- i am scared of cats. Dun u guys do anything foolish involving me and cats. please.

Q: Hmmm.... why dun i talk much in the real world like i do in my blog?

I'll try come up wif sthg decent. I stutter wen i talk & most of e time, things dun get put across the way i want to. This, i think, makes me look as if i cant talk -- in other words, look stupid. hate tis feeling man. I cant talk as fluently as i blog. I also stutter when i talk to my mama lah. And sometimes, the more i talk, the more i dun make sense and mama may "scold" me for talking like someone who doesnt noe what he's talking about. I hate it when i kena shot for the way i talk. After i kena shot, i wun talk to her for a while lah! Talking seems to be a waste of my breath. Hmmm.... in short, i cant talk well.

Talking in front of many ppl also make me nervous. The things u say when talking to ur siblings or parents is SO NOT the things u say to ur frens. The unfamiliar or new environment is so not easy for me to blend into. Hence, it's highly unlikely to hear me talk.

I guess it's all down to lack of confidence and practice.
Cant think straight right now. So many things to write but i can seem to arrange my thoughts properly. stupid cat. I guess tts it for a whole day of outing.... nites...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

blogSKIN

perfect skin huh? haha.... nizar nizar... well tt'll always be a dream. Stumbled across this skin while browsing at blogskins.com. After browsing 3000+ out of 4000+ skins, i tot e perfect skin would never appear. But den, saw tis purple one screaming at me. There WAS a picture of two children, a guy and a girl, about to kiss each other. Oh cmon! Children?!! Are they crazy!? haha... which was why i tweaked the skin a lil bit. To the designer: Sorry if i hadnt asked if i could edit tis wonderful skin of yours. Haha.... btw, e designer's 13 gg 14 ... haha... a few years older then my bros only! But still, i respect other ppl's property.

Hmm... so tis is "sort of" my first skin. 2% of it is e work of my brain ok? haha... anws, i tink it looks sweet. Soooooper sweeeet!! Dun u tink? hehe... But sadly, the bloggerBar is MISSING!!! so it'll be quite hard to go to blogger.com instantly to blog lah! I tink i noe roughly wat to do though. Tmr will be e day. Anws, i cant get those small cute cute skins coz my blog is a WORD blog. Not short scribblings with pictures in it. Mine, as u all most probbly noe by now is all about words. "i'm all about them words" remember? hah! So i really need loads of space for text.

Just finished watching Four Brothers. Hv a couple more movies to watch but I DUN NOE HOW A DVD PLAYER WORKS!!!! how come got background music and all but cannot hear what the actors are saying! Silly invention tis is seh. I tot just pop in the DVD and it'll play. Silly me, i guess. Four Brothers was nice.

The story: A lady named Evelyn Marcer adopted four deliquents whom no one wanted to adopt. The kids eventually grew up ok lah. So then one day, while shopping, the store she was in kena robbed and the two person inside -- she and the shopkeeper kena killed. Her four kids(already grown up of coz) came back for her funeral and after that went hunting for her killer. In the end, the killer got killed and the family lived happily ever after. Oh, did i tell u tt the story ended wif THREE brothers coz one -- the youngest who was also a charcater which i liked b4 he died -- ....... man! i blew the suspense seh. Ya.. ok... there u go... the youngest died.

It'll be much better if censorship was practiced! So Many disgusting words being said... ergh! And my bros watched it too. Wahlao! Wen i was in Pschool, i never heard such disgusting words b4 lah. tsk tsk... ...children nowadays sure need to be watched and guided closely. And btw, ppl say tt they want to watch all the movie in the house. But u and i noe wat they mean when they put it as such. Haha.... but if i say that, i'd literally mean in the house! =)

And in case u hadnt noticed, e element of time has returned.... nites! (may Man u win later... )

Almost noon...

... no sweet dreams. It's expected lah. U wun dream a dream unless u really really feel like dreaming about it. It's like u believe that ur dream will come true -- if not in the real world, then in the world of dreams. I mustnt hv felt like dreaming wat i wanted to dream. I would be lying if i said i did. I didnt believe is the dream as i would the months before. Which explains....

Btw, i dreamt of a blogskin. HAHA!!! A skin i never saw before. Its blue... dark blue. There's a picture of a guy blowing bubbles into the night sky. And on the top right hand corner of the skin, there's something like "A dark night sky."

Hmm... can sort of explain the dream lah. Not saying i got the gift of Joseph lah. I think the blogskin is there becoz recently, i went to a blog with a WEIRD looking skin and I didnt quite agree with it. (PS: i was kidding abt the former) Anws, i guess tt was why it left an impression in my subconscious. Maybeee, it's also becoz i've been searching for a NICCE skin since Saturday. Haa... u all noe me being sooo sooo picky and particuliar abt things... i'll wait till i find the PERFECT skin. (tis is how i wait for the someone too..) Hmm... dark blue.... i liked tt color too - before purple became the IN color. The guy was blowing bubbles into the night sky like how BFG blew dreams into chiddlers during the witching hour. I guess i wanted to dream sweet dreams badly seh. And "A dark night sky" -- no comments man. Haha... just goes to show that i'm super dooper lame lah! Where got bright night sky sia!!! hahaha...

If only i knew how to go about making a skin... then for once, i could make a dream come true. (And i really really think it'll be super cool to have a dream-inspired skin)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

BFG

I IS EATING SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN EAT WHEN I SEEING HER. SHE AM BUYING FOOD AT THE COUNTER. I REAL WANTS HER TO SIT WIF ME BUT SADLY, SHE CHOOSING TO SITS SOME TEN TABLES AWAY. SHE GOT UP AND I IS HOPPING SHE WILL SIT WIF ME. BUT INSETEED, SHE SITTED WIF HER FREN. I IS FEELING REELY SAD RITE NOW BUT IT WAS NO BIGGER DEAL. SHE AM NOTHING -- NOTHING BUT JUST A FRIENDLY. BUT I WONDERING, WHY IS I FEELING LIKE TIS THOUGH I NOE SHE'S NOT THING. I WONDER...

hahah... the above was wat the BFG could have wrote on label of the jar in which he kept the dream -- the dream which he blowed into the room of the guy whose dream i blogged abt in the previous entry.

Finished reading BFG and though it is a nice book to read, i must caution u to read it only when ure not sitting for any major exams in the next few years. hahah... coz the langwitch of the BFG is SO ridiculously ridiculous as seen from the first para tt it may affect ur command of ur language too! keep it away from chiddlers who are just starting to learn english! i wonder wat would happen to me if i read it b4 GP seh... haha... rather annoying reading funny funny words tt are impossible to pronounce. And reading "I is..." when u NOE it shuld be "I am.." ...argh! but haha, i guess tts why such books are meant for cdren 6-12. My fault.

I guess one book down... time for me to guide myself to become a gentleman. lol. and I hope i dream sweeter dream tonite. Or else i'd hv to blog abt another dream/nightmare which some other guy had. heh. But at present, i noe i cant expect sweeter dreams. Not now...

a dream.. or nightmare?

b4 i forget, lemme blog abt tis dream tt a guy blogged on his blog.Was sthg random i found. Not anyone u and i noe.

There he was sitting at a table, alone -- eating. And there she was buying food. He wanted her to sit wif him but instead, she sat some 10 tables away. Then she moved some five table closer to sit wif her fren all e while avoiding eye contact with him, he noticed. It was as if she was pretending he wasnt there. Of coz, the guy felt abit sad lah but dennagain, she was nthg really. As in, not his girlfren or anything like tt -- just someone he knew. Or so was wat tt guy wrote lah. Wells, tts when he woke up.

Den e guys ended up commenting on his dream. He wondered why he dreamt such a dream. Could he be telling himself something? or could He be telling him sthg? He noes a dream is just a dream. He also noes tt tis dream isnt as sweet as his previous ones. He ended his entry by saying and i quote,"I wonder...." Wat a way to end an entry sia... can sort of feel how he felt. Though i must say tt i dun noe for sure wat he's feeling coz i never actually saw wat he saw in his dream. It was afterall, his dream.Rite?...

I wonder ...

Monday, November 21, 2005

RE Bloggin abt Sunday on Monday

I guess 'll start practising my summary skills now. Or try to avoid unnescessary sentences. The re-editted entry below is 20 words lesser then the original but after adding the words in tis newly added first paragraph, the entry is in fact longer than the original! hahaha... dun mind me. A lesson in writing: thoughts are much more fun to read than descriptions of the things u do. I'll keep this in mind.

... firstly, after listening to "Two of Us" so many times ... i think Paul McCartney has a girlish voice.

hmmm, my day began at 11. Watched abit of France vs Germany... boring. .... watched JAWS for a while... boring. Went online a while den stared at e ceiling and wenta library at 530. wth... boring go libry...

Wanted to borrow BFG. In e library, had to choose b/w 2 sections -- e main one and e cdren 6-12 one. I was like.... cant be in e children one rite? But dennagain, Roald Dahl and all are primary school .... Anws, looked abit dumb lah browsing thru the childrens' corner coz all inside were mums and their kids. I wasnt wif any kids ... haha... so i pretended to look as though i was borrowing for my bro. btw, BFG wasnt in mint condition probably becoz the whole world except me had laid their hands on it. I went round the library scanning for books wif interesting titles and finally, saw sthg rather nice to read. The title, "The Gentleman's Guide to Life" by -- not FriedRice or FriedChicken or FriedNoodle -- but Friedman, Steven Friedman. kk, i noe i'm being so un-gentlemanly by making fun of tt guy's name but i'll change my ways after reading it ok? haha... And maybe i'll share a thing or two with u guys lah... heh..

I like books that has fairly large fonts and with pictures here and there. I also prefer books that's not so thick. Coz like i've always said, reading is not as fun as writing.

Got home shortly after tt and watched I am SAm again. I didnt even noe we had the vcd lah! We had guests ytd nite, so i couldnt really here the first part of the show clearly.When Harry potter started at 745, i'd switch b/w Harry potter and I am SAm during advertisements. See how bored i am?

Anws, harry potter damn shiok lah. But too bad they cut e show into 2..... but it's ok lah. At least it doesnt cost me 7 bor 8 or 9 bucks. haha... hey, anyone got harry potter 3 vcd or dvd, pirated or original... can lend me? Pleeease...

HPotter ended at 930 so i contd watching I am SAm till 10 coz my bros wanted to watch Singapore vs Myanmar. Was in the kitchen and mama and sister was there too when I asked my sister wat did my grandma say when she told her she didnt buy the biscuits which grandma told her to buy -- to which she gave e "i dunnoe" face. Coz u see, earlier today, my grandma told her to buy biscuits. And when she got home after her outing empty handed, i asked her where's e biscuit and she said she couldnt find any anywhere and tt NTUC had long queues ... so she intends to get them tmr morning. Ya rite... wahlao.... grandma wakes up early and what if she wants to eat? Damn bad rite? Haha... i decided to rub salt into wounds by telling her, and my bros that i would stay in queue even if it takes me 40 years just to make sure grandma get wat she wants. Sweeet me rite? I mean, the 40 yrs thingy. Haha... the rubbing salt into wounds was QUITE un-gentlemanly of me lah. Haha.. but must let her learn her lesson.. -- Show her wat it means by care and concern and love for someone.... what more, this someone is ur grandmother. I'm sure one would go thru great lengths for his or her special someone lah .... or in my case, vvvvvv...very special someone. Haha... tts why i start practicing with my special someones at home lah. heh.

So mama told me to go 7-11 and get biscuits and bread. AT NIGHT!! AFTER 10!! haha... but dunnoe leh, like i didnt feel scared of the dark like i used to last year lah! seems like i'm no longer scared of the 5 letter word that begins with a G anymore, or maybe, just less afraid of it. Haha... dun wanna type e word out just in case someone reads tis entry at night & ... haha..So yah, went there and returned .... in one piece.

Gt home and didnt felt like watching Singapore vs Vietnam lah! Soooo boring lah! Told my brothers AJ play even better lah! Sembawang Primary play LAGI better. Me being bored, i went to the kitchen and cleaned the place up. Washed e dirty dishes in the sink and wiped the greasy table top and so on and so forth. Wah... like spent abt 45 minutes in the kitchen alone cleaning... and i was thinking, guys dun do this when they're bored rite?. They'd watch soccer. But nevetheless, something neat went thru my mind. I felt how a mum felt lah... doin all tis things alone... while everyone's in their room doing their own things. And it's always the same thing every night. SO sad rite? haha... well, i think husbands should help out too lah! Not fair seh let e wife do all the work. If i get married, i'll never hire a maid. My wife'll do all e house work and of coz, i'll help her out too lah. Haha..... hmm... one of the properties of Ali's wife which someone raised abt e other day -- she mustnt be lazy... heh... or should i say, she mustnt be as lazy as me. hehe... which is hard i guess... =)

AND I FINALLY DRANK MILK!! white milk!! hmm, u may wonder wats the big issue with me and milk. If ure not tt close to me or u haven been following my entries coz THEY'RE JUST SOO LONG, hhaaha .... it's been 16 years since i drank white milk. bought the milk after the library visit wif my own $$13. i smelled e powder for a couple of minutes. Felt like vomitting but i didnt. Made a glass and smelled e milk... felt like vomitting. Stared at e glass while it's cooling -- thinkin "Man... i cant believe i'm gonna drink milk lah!" haha... prepared a glass of juice also to clean the taste off. So after a few sips... my stomach felt like erupting. perhaps, its not used to having milk in it lah. Took 25 minutes to complete the glass of milk lah! And i drank loads of plain water on top of tt juice coz the taste simply wouldnt go away! haha... tears forming in my eyes and all.... For the whole process was wicked man!!

It was midnight by then. S'pore lost(expected) and guess what, .... i continued with I am Sam. heh... after that, wenta my room .... and here i am.... finally reaching the end of my entry. I wonder what's in store for me tmr. i tink i'm gonna do sthg abt the leaky pipe in the toilet. It all depends on my mood lah. Haha... Ppl wif exams, all e best!Gd nite!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Two of us

The Beatles - Two of Us

Two of us riding nowhere
Spending someone's
Hard earned pay
You and me Sunday driving
Not arriving
On our way back home
We're on our way home
We're on our way home
We're going home

Two of us sending postcards
Writing letters
On my wall
You and me burning matches
Lifting latches
On our way back home
We're on our way home
We're on our way home
We're going home

You and I have memories
Longer than
the road that stretches out ahead

Two of us wearing raincoats
Standing so low
In the sun
You and me chasing paper
Getting nowhere
On our way back home
We're on our way home
We're on our way home
We're going home

You and I have memories
Longer than the road that
stretches out ahead

Two of us wearing raincoats
Standing so low
In the sun
You and me chasing paper
Getting nowhere
On our way back home
We're on our way home
We're on our way home
We're going home
The above song was a song played on tv during the advertisement for I am Sam. I found the song sweet when i first heard it. Even sweeter when the song was played during the movie. And even even sweeter when i read the lyrics. I guess i'm into sweet things huh? Lucky me, too much sweet things like this wun be bad for my health.

Two of us riding nowhere. Two of us writing postcards, writing letters. Two of us wearing raincoat.You and me chasing paper, getting nowhere.Rite now, there's only one of us... waiting for the other half to come knocking on my door.. lol... hmm...exams finally over, so my mind can roam freely. hehe. trying not to think too much abt grades.

I AM SAM

I am Sam. Such a moving show. About a "special" dad and his daughter.... how both of them were forced to go separate ways even though they wanted to stay together .... and in the end, they got back together. Sooo moving.

Man... Sam is a guy. But he is different from other guys. He's not 100% MAN but nevertheless, there's a someone who likes him for who he is. To that someone, he's just special -- though different, vvvvvvvvvvvvvery special. This is called "love", or so i interpreted after watching the movie. Sam didnt quite bother about what others say about him. For his life was all about his values, his love for his friends and his love for his daughter. ... and of course, his daughter's love for him. As simple as that.

He had to go thru a rough period when both he and his daughter had to go seperate ways. After trying so many times to reunite wif his daughter and ending up in failure after failure, he simply gave up. He broke down and isolated himself in his room. ( i guess i noe why...) Dats when someone came in and "rescued" him from isolation -- telling him there's still a possibility of reaching his goal. She told him not to give up. And in the end, he wasnt a failure as he thought he was destined to be. Coz u see, he did manage to reunite with Lucy, his daughter. hmmm.... i guess no one's born a failure. No one's destined to fail. Just becoz u tried, and tried but u end up failing .... it simply doesnt spell the end. U've just got to continue and try even harder. And u will end up a winner. I guess victory does go to the one that doesnt give up.

Being different, "special"... wateva... isnt totally a bad thing i guess. People may say one thing, yet, u can always say another. What matters are ur values , ur love for ur frens, and ur love for ur loved ones. what matters most is that ure happy being who u are.

Overall, I am SAm is a great show. Oh btw, google told me tt "Two of us" was sang by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. But the "you and i have memories, longer than the road that stretches out ahead" part of the song sounds so girlish. Made me wonder if it's a guy or a girl's voice. Wateva it is.... a nice song too.

Can it be?



You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.
How Is Your Inner Child?
Alamak.... how can it be? I where got sensitive or sad? Do i not let many people in?? heh... maybe i don't. Whatever it is, quite cool lah... a sad inner child.
So far so boring... and it's only a day after exam's over. Maybe after this go library borrow book ... BFG.... haha... so primary school but hu cares! .. and tonight got I AM SAM.... the trailer caught my attention seh. The little girl's acting like so real. So heart wrenching. MUST WATCH!!!

Tonight, I am Sam. Tommorrow and monday, Harry potter 2. Wahlao, why must they split harry potter into 2 days??!!! Where got fun??!! haiz...

Hock told me about SIM and how they take in ppl who get lousy Alevel grades and how their fees are no longer private now. This clearly shows how much he sayang me.... HAHA... okok...maybe not. But management doesnt seem like my cup of tea. What could i possibly manage after graduation? Manage a wife and two kids? I dun need a degree for that. haha... but it's a door though... one of the many, i mean few, choices to chooose from.

Talked to nizar as if he was my little brother ytd. hahaa.... coz he's the youngest in his family and talking to him could be like me talking to my little brothers when they're 18 and that will be like.... omg! I asked him why little brothers hate their big brothers using the com till late at night(or early in the morning) ... or why little brothers cant stand it when their elder brother is at home? Hahah... and i sort of gained sthg frm the short chat. Heh. In conclusion, little brothers simply do not noe how much their elder brothers sayang them. -shakeshead-

anws, hope i'm not e only one feeling BORED n RESTLESS rite now. hope millions of kids out there are feeling e same LOUSY feeling as me! Muahahaha!Take care!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Finally.... IT'S OVER!!!

hhahah.... my apologies to those who still got papers left. Whahahaa! Continue to work hard and jiayou!! heh...

anws, the moment the clock read 3.30, i was smiling. haha... though the thought of the cert tt they need not bother to print still lingered at the back of my head, i was super dooper happy tt it's all over!

Played soccer after chem. Ok lah... scored a couple of dumb goals(the goal post was big lah) but running here and there vvery tiring. Which reminds me.... i got lots of physical training to do man.... should start running and pull ups and the likes lah! swimming... erms.... hahah..... wait long long lah... gonna start learning in camp. heh... maybe not?

Work. It seems as if i gotta find work to do during the 1 month break. But i never did worked b4 and it feels funny lah going out into the "real world" looking for work-- me being the "home sweet home" kindof guy. haha! ....i guess this is what they call stepping out of ur comfort zone and gain some valuable "experience".

Anyone needs a brother? A person to talk to? Someone to "kick the moss off the roof"? Hahaha.... i dun charge a lot one. lol.... lame seh... i really really dun feel like stepping outof my comfort zone just yet but, i noe i got to coz come NS, i'll be way out of my comfort zone. Oh btw, my sis is out looking for work rite now -- and next week still got paper lah!! But science paper 1 so... ok lah. See the diff b/w me and my sis? I am reluctant to be outside home whereas she cant wait to get out!!! haha...

dunnoe lah... the time will come one. Sooner or later the vision of my future will come to me via dreams??? hahaha... maybe... so till then, i shall learn how to cook, repair the faulty toilet bowl, paint the gate, help my grandma with the "garden" outside ...... and blog!! hhaaha.... we'll see what i'll blog about in the days to come.

Something is definitely wrong if i feel like i'm blogging the same entry every single day. So till then....(till when?..haha!).... bye bye!!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Great day...great game.... Sadness over?


Wednesday, September 21

Great day... great game... break's over

Physics was doable though my kind of doable is very different from ur kind of doable. If i really read and write for the full 2.5hrs paper means its doable. Though it was really a waste i didnt do much ytd.

Hanged with different group of real people. And i learned a new word... "Yoshi".. haha...i tot it was some character from Ninja Turtle lah! Only to find out later its some jap fast food outlet. Haiz.... ytd was bad... once i reached home, i didnt do ANY physics... slept at 11 and woke up at 6. Set my alarm at 3 but woke up only to shut that thing up. Yea, i learned that i'm not the night kind of guy.

Anw today was a good day. Played soccer after physics.... Made myself look like a fool chasing after the ball... not passing correctly... shooting way off target....shouting at my teammates..... but i was so high that i didnt care. Too stressed ... Kim...can see he a bit(maybe alot) pissed off with me coz i kept taking my time to pass the ball. Haaha... i really think i did great! Scored 3-- one is thru HEADER!!! haha...power... can score more but even though i'm high....

....

...some more play lots of games never cramp....! =)
Yup, tis was e day i stopped feeling sorry for myself and moved on. Being ard ppl and being DAMN happy tt day, it made me realise tt there's more to life even if u fail ur exams. Which means to say, sitting at home blogging wun really be as effective as being ard others. Haha... after chem, no one playing soccer ar????

Ytd, my bros made yet another daring move. HAHA!! They went to ask our mama if they could go cinema watch movie today. haha... little did they noe their bro rejected going to e movie earlier in e day. So mama was like "no!". Den they ask and ask and ask and when mama finally said "yes" they sulked. Hahah... coz mama said her "yes" like this....

"OK. FINE! GO! NEXT TIME U COME HOME FROM SCHOOL, U CAN GO ANYWHERE U WANT. NO NEED TO ASK FOR MY PERMISSION. DUN ASK FOR PERMISSION ANYMORE!!"

Hhaha.... the above was "girl language"... i'll translate it for u guys. It means "no". ...and mama also said tt they've become like my sister in a way. Like dunnoe how precious money is and all. Made me smile abit, heh. Made me realise tat there's only one like me. lOL!! Mama also said "U pay $7 times 2 to watch sthg for 3 hours den after that u gained nthg from it. Waste money rite?" hahahaha... heard that sort of things so many times in my childhoood that the importance of money was sort of impressed upon me. so there's no such thing as "$7 was worth it coz the movie was great". Haha..

Anws, lived thru the down side i think i would live thru after ytd's badly done paper. Which means to say tt i've woken up and gonna live life as per normal. Erm... maybe not my "normal".. haha... till after chem... bye!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Finally... its almost over....

Never have i spoken to her in such a depressing tone. As usual, my mama was waiting and asked her "how?" question -- this time can feel the "i want to hear that it's not hard" tone. I didnt want to say it was hard so I told her it "wasnt easy". And i also told her "my alevel cert can throw away". Being the mama i knew for 18 years now, she didnt say much. Like "how come?" or "U study also cannot pass ar?" or "2 years waste my money just like dat".

Life simply went on as per normal. I ate a fruit and commented that it tastes so bad and mama said that it's becoz they plucked the fruit before it ripens and blah blah blah. No rementioning of my poorly done alevels. But i have to admit -- there is the "gloomy atmosphere" in my house -- the silent incessant screams of "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Walking home from school... people sound so happy that the As are over. (technically, there's STILL paper one... and the bio....and the computing... and the what not lah..). But ya, u noe wat i mean. Ppl going to watch movie and wat not... (at tis point, i'd like to say tt going to the movies haven been a characteristic of my life yet... haha... tts why i STILL refuse to go)
maybe partly coz i got no mood for anything now. I didnt even had the mood to go home. Felt like sitting under a big tree and simply see time fly. But too bad... i'm already home.
Nothing much i can do now huh? All i know is i wun be taking the conventional route to life like u guys would. The feeling of despair, depression, hopelessness and hunger lumped all in one. yes... i'm hungry. though depressed, still must eat rite?

btw, the way i write this entry is like the way i wrote entries after prelims. i tink i'll live through the post-prelims days by reading past entries and simply start tonight from the day i start feeling alright again. HAHA.... i duwan to waste my time living thru girly girly moments all over again. no insults to girls though.

hmm... "I'm all about them words Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words." maybe, even after i fail, i wun be out of words.

well, i shall not sit around blogging anymore. gonna see if food is cooked or not. After that it's chem till friday. After friday, i think i'd start outlining the routes i would be taking after As. bbyes!!!!!! =)

It's okay to feel bad for a while. Just make sure u dun feel bad abt urself for too long. An entry long will do. After that, simply pick urself up and emerge a slightly stronger person.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hot day today huh?

you and i- Jason Mraz
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me?
Oh, things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh, but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love or the love that I love

See, I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive


'Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now,

Oh, love, love, you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore,
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy


'Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well then I'm almost finally out of
Finally ou-ou-out of
Finally din-di-di-dit-dit-dee
Well, I'm almost finally finally, well I am free, oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephones, well they work in both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
'cause I'll remember everything you sang

'Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well then I'm already finally out of
Finally ou-ou-out of
Finally did-di-di-dit-dit-dee
Well, I'm almost finally finally, well, out of words.


Well, i'm sort of waiting for the days i'm out of words. Coz my hands seem to have to problem typing and typing and typing and typing. Maybe results ought to shut me up. Tauhid's advice of burning my computer is a wee bit too violent -- and unnescessary.

the Dare

...tauhid dared me not to blog today. ANd when he said that, i told myself that it's not that difficult not to blog for a day. But while walking home, i wondered what's the point? What's the point of not doing what u like to do for the sake of others?

SO here i am... blogging. A dreamer.... or so i was called. Maybe that's the word which best describes me...... CAn accomplish nothing more than coming up with big dreams for himself.

oh...nthg much to comment abt chem2 today. When mama asked this morning wat paper i'm having today and i said chem, she asked, "So how?" Me and my dumb smile while shaking my head said, "I dunnoe."

am not quite in the mood to talk seh. physics 3 and chem 1... get it over and done wif and den see if there's still a good reason as to why i should still be around.... HAHA!!! KIDDIN ONLY....

anws, duwan ppl to think tt i'm sad and all. coz i'm not. bye!! And hi jeremy! (he was told abt the blog tt's always updated tis morning so chances are, he might drop by)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Need i say more...?

Man..... mama asked me who is more afraid -- me or her? Man... i duwan both of us to be afraid lah. But dunnoe if tts possible. Well mama gave me her good luck hug once again -- maybe she really didnt want to hear me say tt the paper's hard again. But all the hug did was calm me down both b4 and after the paper. and i told her the paper's hard. wahlao... the a levels aint simply abt me. if i dun do well, mama will hv to worry abt where i would go to next and how much it'll cost and so on. dang! We'll see come next year.....till then, there's still chem1and 2 and physics 3 to strive for.

...zzzzzz....

the most MAJOR lesson learnt so far. Cough syrup really makes u drowsy.

Well i tink i drank too much cold water that when i woke up the nxt day, my throat feeling a bit funny. I saw the "May cause drowsiness, caution if driving. Warning -avoid alcoholic drinks" on the label on the cough syrup. Alcholic drinks are out. BUt the drowsiness bit, never have i ever ever drank cough syrup and feeling drowsy after that. So, thinking they were bluffing, wth...

Den when doing physics, i was closing my eyes trying to memorise formulaes and all that that i almost fell asleep lah! wah... den i tot it was once-off thing but after a while, i really cannot take it so i slept for 2 hours. Den at night also the same thing. Though i slept for 2 hours, i still felt like sleepiing lah! But did a fair bit of stuffs b4 sleeping.

In conclusion, i would suggest the pharmacy to review their caution bit. Change it to like, ...

"May cause drowsiness...REALLY! Caution if driving or worse still, when revising for BIG exams. Warning - avoid alcoholic drinks and when revising for BIG exams, avoid this cough syrup.U wun die coughing, but u WILL die if u end up failing. HAHA!!"

I think the "HAHA!" shouldnt be there coz that sounds so unprofessional. anws, I guess too many words on a cough syrup is uneconomical huh? hahaa... wells, a couple of hours to Physics... the feeling isnt the same as b4 GP paper. -dead-

Till then....

Sunday, November 13, 2005

frequency ... and some stuffs u WUN be interested in..

my apologies to those who came ytd and surprisingly found no new entries. My hands are tied. Haha...

just finished watching Frequency. I watched the movie wif my bros and we talked as if they never had a thing against me. Coz u see... i'm always like kissing them on the cheek whenever i get the chance to or like simply... bug them. But just now, it was like nthg.... maybe coz i decided not to fool ard.heh.

I watched Frequency when i was in sec 2(my chem teacher showed in on tv in class after exams). Found it THE SWEETEST show then. Somehow, it left a deep impression on me. skali some 4 years later, the show pops up as a "tv premier" on channel 5 tt i decided to watch it again. I told my bros a couple of days ago tt they must watch it coz it's nice. Haha... and they did watch it... and they didnt fall asleep. It was nice to hear them say the show was nice. I felt like crying when watching the movie but the thing is, dumb advertisements kept killing the moment! dang.... i guess that's why ppl go to cinema huh?

Hha.... some ppl dun go to cinema. Some ppl is actually preety glad tt the movie event of the year is showing after A levels!! I'm tokin abt harry potter 2!! haha...

anws, a lil bit abt frequency. Hard to describe the movie here. But a guy named John happened to chance upon his dad's old radio -- those kind which has a microphone and a speaker... like a phone liddat. Then tt night, he heard a call from another end of the radio and talked to tt fella for a while. Then while conversing .... there comes the part when one said he's in the future ... and blah blah blah... ended up John found out he was talking to his dad. But the thing is, John's dad would die the next day in some burning building. John's dad's a fireman. So john told him he's gonna die tmr and told him sthg he should avoid in the building in order to stay alive. Long story short, his dad survived.

This sort of changed the past and theres a series of event that took place. Among which was tt John's mother was killed in a murder which will take place some weeks after his dad survived. You see, John is a cop dealing wif homicide. And they discovered a dead body which was linked to the still unsolved serial murder case 30 years ago.So John and his dad worked together to prevent the crime...to catch the murderer... blah blah blah. Long story short, they caught the murderer... and John's dad AND mama lived up till 1999....

Brought tears to my eyes. So happy tt John was reunited with his dad and mum. Haha! But tears doest mean cry coz the tears remained in my eyes! hahaha... yea...

Anws, tis sort of expl the entry i wrote to me a couple of days ago. haha... who noes, ali would reply. Hmm.... if i was the ali 10 years later, here's what i'll tell ali now.

"Hey ali, i got ur message! I wonder how it was ever possible. U seem to be going thru a very tough period huh? relax ... my advice is to not waste so much time watching tv or thinking about u noe hu. well, those were the days...

about whether or not ure a somebody, dun worry ali, u ARE a somebody. u may not see it then but when i look back 10 years ago, i realised that there are so many people around me who cares abt me. They care abt u. Being a somebody need not nescessarily mean u hv to be clever and get good grades u noe. I noe wat ure going thru right now. So just persevere and u'll see how it goes.

about me being married and having 2 kids and the degree, haha... i'll wait here for u for 10 years and i'll personally tell u if i'm married and having 2 kids and the degree. HAHA!! see... i'm lame. UR fault lah! hhaah...

anws ali, i got this one request for u. if there's someone out there that u like, u better do sthg abt it... haha.. dun wait too long. Or dun simply choose to leave it as food for thought. Otherwise, 10 years later, u WILL be regretting wat u did not do and live the rest of ur life thinking and thinking about her and waiting for ur very (x13) special someone. btw, i'm still waiting. Ali, my request is... just go for it! haha...

anws, i gtg, help my mama wif the laundry -- as always.Things never change. Take care yea? all e best for u As! lemme tell u this. IF u dun succeed, dun stop. Life's not over! tc dude. cya!"

actually,i think that the ali 10 years later is CRAZY telling me to do sthg he was SCARED to do! he tot it was foolish and childish and waste of time. And the funny thing is, i feel exactly the same way now! so.... hahahahah.... let's get on with the As shall we and leave fantasy out of the picture for the time being.

got the chance to talk to mama again just now. Haha... watching her cooking curry ... so we talked abit. blah blah blah and we talked abt skool .... den getting my sis married if anyone asks for her hand... lol! so old fashioned sia. Anws, then tok abt how she met my dad and blah blah....

Then,she said, "dun get married to late."
i asked her, "when den to get married?"
She said, "who? when should u get married?"
I said, "no lah! when do MOST ppl get married?"
She said," 26,27 is perfect. Dun wait till 30."
And i went, " hahaha.... ok...but 26,27 still skooling wat! no work how to get married."

Den she said "that's why..." And that sort of concludes our chat on marriage. Basket.... i tink she could hv picked up sthg. But i'm assuring u guys, it was nthg. Haha... would a girl marry someone with a degree but doesnt hav a job or someone with a decent job? But is it possible to get a decent job if one doesnt have a degree? Oh man.... i sure wish i could be someone in the army(or air force). haha... And i better start saving and finding ways to double and triple and quadruple and (n)(n+1)-ple my bank account seh. all i noe is no one wants to get married to a guy who doesnt hv money.

haha.... earlier ytd was tokin abt what i look out for in my wife, not wif my mama of coz... but ya.. And i didnt sort of list for that person what i was looking for. HAHA! list.... yups... wait one day, i'll go list for u guys. LOL!!! no lah .... i'm not that choosy ok? i'm playing hard to get. Lol....i'm simply taking my time and hoping tt tt very (x13) special someone would come knocking on my door instead of me knocking on her door. hahahahaha! lousy me rite? but i dun care. Hehe.

kk... enuff for one nite... wait ppl avoid reading this just becoz it's a long one. haha ...Soooo gdnites!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

nightmare

haha.... but shant write here... told one person enuff....

oh... ya... the dream b4 the nightmare(lol!!!) , i learnt a lesson. The moral of the dream is to rush to NTUC later today to buy milk. Haha... somehow, tt scene in my dream told me tt i need calcium. weird. But besides tt, all the other dreams were forgettable ones.

i hv an idea of an invention. To create a storage device to store ur dreams. Cool huh? If only it was possible. Nothing is impossible lah. U just hv to wait patiently and one of these days, sure got ppl invent one.

hmm..for once, i dunnoe wat to write after just 10-12 lines. Must be the "just woke up" syndrome. Wells, someone studied while i was asleep ... so shant sleep anymore. bbye!! (oh guys, the "someone" used in the previous line isnt used the same way as e one to describe THAT "someone". it is e std english dictionary "someone".)

...GP...

It was like blogging for 3 hours -- except that its slightly more tiring and u're under the pressure of having to write fast. But my thoughts seem to flow through well. Lucky me. When i blog, my mind is always thinking about what to write after this line. And since people always tell me not to blog as it is time-consuming, i still blog --only quicker. This seems to translate into Gp when i saw the question i want to do -- "Hosting major sporting events creates more problems than benefits.Do you agree?"

I could brainstorm four silly points and elaborate and come up with dumb examples -- all this in 15 minutes of planning. Btw, before today, i never planned fully for any other essays that i've done. Then after the planning, it was down to writing intro and content and evaluations of the things i talked about. Trying hard to go in depth but i think i failed to do that. Coz never before today hv i even thot that i have written any essays with depth. My essays were all superficial. But amazingly, i wrote 4 pages. Never have i wrote a 4 page entry lah!... i mean essay. But rongzhu eventually pointed out that the line spacing was large.(did u guys notice that?) Haha... well, nevertheless, i felt that i "blogged" alot. Hope the marker dun get turned off by long entries like some of u guys who may find my entries berjela-jela (Malay for very very long). Whahahaa... joking. Was happy after essay.

Paper 2 was manageable also. 5 minutes before the end, i was scared i didnt have enough lines for AQ. Could only squeeze in 3 lines of conclusion. THere's only one passage -- hence, the ease. The questions were ok. GOt one part they talked about controversial sentences and explain the language used to maintain open mindedness and so on. Haha... it reminded me of the 2 controversial entries i wrote the other day and the kind of language and words i used so as to make it SEEM as though i was being open minded. Lol. Gave crappy explainations for them. WHen reading questions and text, answers were forming in my head. It's like when i blog, i never seem to be able to stop thinking of what to write -- thus the long entries.

Here's a walkthrough of how i did the paper 2-- in case some small kids typed
"success+tips+ paper 2+gp +completing the paper in time". I read the AQ question for an idea of what the passage is about. Saw tt there's only one author's name. Flipped open the insert and there's only one passage! cool. I wrote what the AQ requires me to do on the question paper. I wrote "AQ :benefits .... war inevitable... writer's reason... If war is avoided, will the gain outweigh the loss?"


Then i read the summary and marked out line 1 - 51 using Alista's method of using # . haha. I saw her did that and thought it was cool. Then i wrote on the margin the points i need to find for summary. "SUMMARY: reasons war inevitable... benefits..."

Went to the short questions and for questions which has citations in it, i highlighted the quotes in the passage and wrote in brief the question requirement on the insert. Like for question 1, i highlighted the quote, and wrote "Qn1 : reasons why war inevitable.." . I did it for all the questions.

It took me 5 minutes to read all the questions, highlight all the quotes and vocab words and rewrite all the questions in brief on the insert. Fast huh? I never did this before today but time practices in school and at home made me discover this quicker way. By this time, i already sort of have an impression of the whole passage without having to "unpack" the text lah! To think that my GP teacher used to spend so many periods just to "unpack" the text.

I used the next 30 minutes to do questions straight away while reading the passage first time. Like when i first read the first para, i saw Qn 1 on it. So while reading, answers formed in my head and i simply wrote down. Answers seemed to fall like the heavy rain yesterday. In the past, i used to crack my head for the "perfect answer" but i always end up failing to complete the paper or having to rush towards the end. So now, i simply wrote whatever that "pops up" in my head. haha... like blogging lah... (But as u can see, i blog rubbish, so guess how i answered my questions?) While reading on, i wrote the meanings of the vocab i highlighted so there's no flipping back and forth and having to look for words.

Exactly 30 minutes later, i finished the short qns and vocab. Never before hav i accomplished such a feat. 1030 - 1055 was for summary, i told myself. So i planned out my summary on the rough paper. Split the paper into 2, one for why war is inevitable and benefits of war. As soon as i got 10 points, i immediately wrote my summary. No rough summary in pencil and counting the number of words before transferring it into the booklet. In the past, i always did that and it took too much time. TOday, on THE day, i decided to do sthg i never did try before and i really hope it's a risk worth taking. Finished summary a couple of minutes earlier. Kind of had a couple more points but decided not to worry bout them coz one, i've got no time and two, i ran out of words(i didnt do draft remember?).

AQ was fun. I actually planned for it. The last remedial lesson, my gp teacher told me tt AQ also must plan. Plan wat to write ... the thesis... make sure all requirements are met. Ur Ev and EX and have as many text reference as possible. I did exactly all that and knew exactly how my AQ will develop after 10 minutes of rough working. So the next 25 minutes or so was writing AQ... managed to squeeze in examples even! Haha.. i never squeezed in examples to support my arguments before lah! Not once! And i never wrote a long entry for AQ so having a lack of lines kind of shocked me. Nevertheless, i decided to shorten my speech -- leaving 3 lines for conclusion.

My conclusion was stoooopid! I was bored. So i wrote sthg like, "In conclusion, i find the reasons which Woolgar raised was largely convincing. We no longer need more wars to lead to the birth of sporting events like 'Olympics' and the world cups -- we already have more than enough of it."

Rather stupid way to end but, i just wanted to put across the idea that war will play a reduced role in future. Haha... after that... got a few more minutes... i relax lah.. Wrist so pain.
Was preety happy about GP. But the thing is, i never got anything higher than a C6 in this 2 years. I never got anything higher than 30 for essays. And i never got more than 4 marks for summary and more than 4 marks for AQ. Having done so many things for the first time today, i expect nothing more than my usual grades. Which was why i brought nothing but my pencil case today and a couple of notes(which i threw away b4 paper starts).

See how thought flows freely in my entry today? lol... i must say that blogging kind of helped me today. Ive been blogging for like almost a year now and writing seems like so much fun than ever before. It's more fun knowing that people actually read what i write. Though not word by word (like duh.... i wun do that if i read normal ppl's blog..) , knowing that ppl actually come to my blog with the intention of reading makes writing fun. Voyeuristic nature of humans? Maybe.... but i think such claims are rubbish.

Well, i guess enuff of lengthening my entry. Hope u guys found gp okay. Coz if ALI can say it's ok and that he thinks he can get C6, i tink ur As are guranteed plus chop. ali...... haha... All e best for next week. Physics and chem. Die.

Friday, November 11, 2005

oops

did preety badly for maths 2. sad sia. no hope. doing all i can to lessen the disappointment come results day later. another lesson learnt. If u noe ur alarm clock is faulty, get a new one! There's also another lesson learnt but it's confidential..

got home and for e first time since As started, i told my mama e paper's hard. and she said "got hope?". i said... "slim... 50-50". I really did badly. and she said "see lah, now must repeat one more year". And i told her, jc cannot repeat.. "dunnoe lah... go poly i tink". Den she said... "see lah... waste a few more years". den i say, dunoelah... work at DHL need degree or not? wat future seh!

hmmm..... maybe... my ability to "amazingly do well" for crucial exams ended during promos. It failed to occur for prelims -- i never did any worse than i did for my prelims. And now, ...

overseas uni cost a bomb. maybe shall learn how to make a bomb... den can afford overseas study.

maybe, mama's fault lah. She gave me a hug before i left home for school for the first paper and wished me good luck. Then maths one was ok. the next 2 days she never hug, .... tts why become like tis. maybe...

...hoping...for the best...

ali, i wonder, if ure reading this 10 years from now, would u have made ur first million? would u hold a degree? a degree in wat? would u be happily married with 2 kids? a family to come home to?.....

... or would u be there, blogging.... wondering wat the Ali 10 years from then would be doing... would u be saying to ur girlfren(IF u hv one) ..."I don’t have much money but boy if I did, I’d buy a big house where we both could live" ... would the only thing u can afford to do be only to tell her "she got the sweetest eyes" or write songs .... or simply hope she "don't mind" ... would u simply kp telling others "I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do" ...

..worse still, dun tell me ure sitting
on the roof and kicking off the moss .... i'd like to think it's the roof of ur own house tt ure cleaning, but it's highly unlikely ..... or dun tell me ure still there, unable to distinguish green from blue... in other words, no different from wat u are right now... lousy..

...oh btw ali, at the moment, I dun tink there'll be Ali 10 years from now. I really hope u'd reply soon and say tt ure a somebody... not a nobody... tell me that my guesses were wrong... i need to hear it man.. tell me if i would be cleaning other people's roofs , then at least i shouldnt try trying ... when i noe i'd most likely end up feeling lousy tries after tries... hope to hear from u, ali... i've watched "frequency"... we've watched "frequency"... such weird things could happen...

-ali-

(btw, Frequency is a movie premiering on channel 5 tis saturday at 10. sweet show)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

It's a little bit funny...

was doing maths... den i was talking to myself... and somehow, i was telling my sthg like "it's a lil bit funny...tis feeling inside..."

... then i was like eh... like a song.. den i try to recall... and got a small part of it... googled it on the net... and confirmed tt it's the song by elton john "Your song" (it should be playing in the background). Looked at the lyrics... and haha! Freakin wierd man the lyrics. way way way WAY cool! got one line coincidentally similar to reality ....... haha, i like. well jc life's ending soon anw, so ya... gonna enjoy tis "feeling inside" while it last.

wells, maths... a bit harder tis time round. but from the 2 days experience, just do as much as u can coz it'll literally be ur last chance to do that.... and hope for the best.

Your song - elton john
It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

PS: Make a wild guess of the coincidentally similar to reality line. TAG!!
(Winners get free 1-year membership to my blog..haha... do tag..)

haha... lousy me... blogging again

short one.

was i bloggin or was i doing chem 3? coz i think abit and write and write and think and write... and when i got the "writer's block", i think abit then skip. the answers to the questions were inside my head.. most of it lah.. at least i had a clue of wat to write. But knowing tt my content-knowledge on chemistry is like my knowledge on psychology, i guess i noe where i stand. Oh btw, i noe nthg abt psychology.

maths.... must focus after tis short recess.

food poisoning... mustve been tt stupid cake ytd... ate one slice and bleargh! if my mama charges 10 cents for every toilet entry, i would be broke lah!(ok... not tis bad) And even while i sleep, i was dreaming of me going to toilet lah! and during chem, i was like clutching my stomach lah... so pain...

and tauhid and nizar and hafiz wanted to go to mac to eat...... i duwan... my stomach like super uneasy. den they managed to dragged me as far as the busstop in front of skool. i was tinkin of a list of events tt could happen if i go to mac... which then made me made up my mind and decide to go home. i tink alot. scare myself wif possible scenarios tt made me decide sia. alamak guys, not i duwan... i wan... but cannot lah... okok... excuses excuses but ... u be the judge lah. haha... kk... bell ring oready. recess over. bye!

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

how?

throwing notes against my blue wall -- angry, frustrated.

qns and stuffs tt i read.... like everything's so new to me. It's not. It's some where inside my head but it simply refuses to come out.

for once, i really felt that my tomorrow is gone. why pass 2 when ure gonna fail one. but tokin to the right ppl ... maybe... just maybe i shouldnt just giv in to my frustrations... should just push on... for one night? After tt no more thermodynamics and all tt stuffs.

another lesson learnt. if u noe ur weakness right from the start, u shouldnt simply ignore it and wait for a miracle to happen. SO many lessons learnt ... wat for? where can i go after all this is over man...

doing all i can now. praying for the best possible outcome. pray for me.

short stuffs

i noe how it feels goin to a blog hoping for an update only to find out there isnt. Haha...

maths was ok. it was fun. but ... dunnoe leh... i never do much revision so wat i say dun matter tt much.

chem tmr... goin to continue with it in a while.

here's wat i really wanna share today... LOL...

...feeling... i almost forgot what it feels like to be feeling the feeling that i'm feeling right now...... it's the impossible to describe kindof feeling.. ya... weird.... amazingly weird.... *smiles*

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

i cannot NOT blog

see wat i mean when i said i cannot nOT blog. haha... i did plug out the keyboard for 2 hours i think. And did serious work. But i needed the computer coz of the questions i need to ask. got stuck here and there so i needed help.

the table which i shifted into my room made a whole lot of difference to my revision. Coz there i was... facing nthg but my blue wall so there wasnt anything to distract me. Descipline is one thing but not having the need to impose self-descipline on urself is the better alternative. Wasnt as distracted by the com as i was almost every other time wen studying at my usual study table. too late?
i see it more as a lesson learnt.

sticking post-its on
the blue wall tt i face when studying at the table behind me right now. another lesson learnt. doing papers and tys and clarifying is a great process -- it'll be a greater process if i'd done it earlier. the time factor is my main problem. it's always the "last minute syndrome". Anyone has any idea wif regards to overcoming this problem?

and finally, Prject runway has its share of life lessons. Dunnoe wat tt guy said but it's sthg like -- It doesnt matter if it's good or bad. What matters is u like doing what ure doing. I dun think i got it correct but ya, be happy with wat ure doin. Then wat others say abt it doesnt really matter tt much.

Am rather tired. But i need to push on. Am blogging to sort of take my mind of maths. no one on msn seh. everyone must hv slept.

my maths paper 1 is more or less settled. im worried about chem 3. It's in the morning-- so theoretically, i have like from 5pm to 8am later today to recap and recall? am so doomed lah. Then after tomorrow's chem will have like quite sometime for maths2... but i'm afraid i would be too tired by then to do much. Friday's GP. im feeling ok for paper 2 but cant say the same abt essay. 3 points one counter.... i never seem to be capable of tinkin of examples. Another lesson learnt. Weaknesses like this shouldve been overcome earlier on.

well...abt 15 minutes passed. It's like half past one now. A lil bit more b4 i sleep. healthy stress lah. if onli it'd come a lil sooner.nites.

-trying hard not to think abt wat'll happen after my exams-

Final entry

...for now only...

hv decided to put wat adib said to the test -- to "throw" my keyboard away. But alamak... maybe not possible leh... coz msn messenger is like my handphone. If i need help or wat... then must plug my keyboard back in.

so maybe... maybe... not my final entry for now. but if u dun see action here or on msn for the next 2 weeks... it means that ive really "thrown" my keyboard as well as my "handphone" away. bye.

-A thought just popped up-

Dun I think it's a little too late?

Monday, November 7, 2005

sunday on a monday

i dun like the way im bloggin rite now. the thursday on fridae. saturday on sunday. sunday on monday. like if i want to blog again later this morning, or later tonite... then i'll have 2 entries in a day. i duwan to be seen as someone who has nthg else better to do than to blog.

anws, ive been thinkin lesser and lesser nowadays. like im no longer thinkin of wat to blog when i hv spare time or when i'm in the shower... no more pop-ups in my head. its as though ive installed a popup blocker somewhere up there. so i dun exactly feel the urge to blog...

wells, maths paper tomorrow. -writer's block-

man u won! ok... happy.. -writer's block-

ive shifted a table from outside into my room. And my youngest bro asked me "Dun u tink it's a little too late?" Hha... in english somemore... and i was like "No its never too late." Then he said, "i never said its too late. I just said 'a little too late'... a little too late." And i was like... hmm... not bad... i didnt noe my bro very the intellectual.

anws, the table is set against the wall tt is facing the com. so tt i can do my werk w/o havin to face the com. easier to focus. well... it IS a little too late...

-writer's block-

all e best once again to those taking the As and the Os. nites.

Sunday, November 6, 2005

saturday on a sunday

when i'm online, ppl think i'm bloggin. well tt was the case almost everytime last time. always wanting to write and write.

but now, now as in days before my As, i realise tt i duwan to tok too much. dunnoe lah... i kp saying i'm afraid....tt i cant tink of anything to write. not as "creative" as last time. i just dun feel like talking.

always bloggin long entries. but now tt entries are gettin shorter, ppl ask why are they short? 2 reasons. one is tt i dun hv the mood to blog. the second being most tend to not read long entries. the first one is of course the main reason coz u noe me... no matter how much i say i want to blog less, i still end up writing essays most of the time.

latest news is tt my sis wants to go MI. [actually, not tt recent -- just felt liek writing abt it now.] meaning she wants to take the path i'm taking. tis also comes to mean tt if i end up failing my As, my sis would hv one year left to go and i'd only be starting poly? then if my sis go to U, then i would really feel jeslous lah. hmm... having confidence in my sis but not my own. anws,tis are just random tots going on in my mind. All the more i shouldnt fail.

i m staring into space most of the time when i blog now. no inspirations to inspire my writing. no mood to entertain or grab ur attention. not like last time -- blog to make ppl guess and guess until they too scared to guess anymore. blog to simply share wat happened in the day in a fun way.. etc. and if my As are done badly, den maybe no more drive to blog coz then i'd be too ashamed too blog anymore? mama sort of gave me the idea tt ppl who talk alot are usually smart ppl. so if u aint smart, then better talk less? sthg like tis lah..

anws, maybe only... just maybe... dun worry abt me. i'll take care of myself. after 2 weeks, we'll see... if i can still be me. Or will i be some depressed fella hu'll just sit at home and wait for january 7. prelims broke me... cant imagine wat the As would do to me. wateva it is, like i said, all tis talk shall be left to after the exams. now, i should focus and gv my all... 2 weeks... make or break..

a lil bit abt today. all except me and sis wenta visit relatives till night. ate bread in the morning, a mcspicy double in the evening and rice at nite. lucky mama brought home rice coz i was very hungry. still received green packets frm my relatives even though i didnt go. haha...

spending a wee bit too much time staring into space and waiting for the mood to write to come. so i'll go. nites..

Saturday, November 5, 2005

Why?

My mind is telling me to type only this,

"Guys, i was here. I saw the tags. Never hav friends been this significant."

Then, i thought abt what else to write yet nthg came to mind. Oh, there's one other thing tt my mind is telling me right now,

"oei...! just listen to me! Simply type the above and tts it. Go do ur work. With frens like tis... u better not fail."

So it'll simply end like tis. Thanks for tagging. I'll definitely blaja KUAT KUAT and start believing. AAAA1....haha... no harm expecting such grades huh? -- esp when ure tinkin of failing all the time. =)

Friday, November 4, 2005

thursday on a friday

finally stopped sighing and managed to bring myself together and write.

Spent whole of thursday at home... (besides morning prayers and going out to hang the clothes)... still get collection money...... but alevels always on my mind... i looked preety stressed today. And like e previous entry said, i dun tink i can live up to my expectations. Dunnoeleh... just tink tt it's over already. 4 days. By right, alot more can be done in this four days.

Tts reason why i chose to blog another entry. I wanna tell myself to stop tinkin about wat if i fail the As. hopeless, helpless.... i'm telling myself stuffs i shouldnt be hearing esp now... so i'm bloggin to tell myself tt tis is a stupid thing to do and i shuld stop thinkin so negatively. Am telling myself out loud tt i just need to continue gving my all and get the As over and done with. It's better knowing tt u failed trying, instead of giving up.

"What-to-do-after-i-fail-scenarios" shall be put aside till after my exams are over. Shall strive to try change tis to a "wat-to-do-when- i-pass-scenarios"...

2 weeks... +4days.. could make a difference.

-my thoughts could kill me.. if i continue to kp to myself.. -

Sigh a million sigh

Dun tink i can... live up to my expectations...

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Chaotic Rayer

Erm... its just past 2 in the morning... heh... doing last minute stuffs like scrubbing the dirty kitchen walls, the toilet which acc. to my mama is worse than public toilet, replacing dead lightbulbs, wiping the mirror in the hall(the trick to wiping is not using water)..., moping, sweeping, putting the carpet in the hall.... and erms, tts about it lah. It's really as if i'm the only child in the family lah! Haha.. no lah, we do jobs tt suits muscle strength...and HEIGHT.. haha...

What others hv already done weeks ago i just did it tonight lah. Haiz... see lah.. 1 hr later is Man U's match-- so cant sleep... My house still in a mess... mama's in the kitchen cooking. Poor mama lah.. ppl all sleeping she must cook.

Gonna go out and accompany mama lah.... while ironing my baju kurung. See lah... tmr morning got prayers we still haven iron clothes yet. Everything all last minute. But ok lah... haha...

Anws, i realise i used a lot of "lah" in recent entries. So malayish huh? haha... anws, excited man... like so shiok.... power... have fun guys! SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Selamat Hari Raya guys

Hmm.... double posts. On two seperate days. Finally, it's the last day of fasting.i'm truly sad coz this is the worse fasting month ever lah. I mixed up my priorities and didnt do much "spiritually". Thus, my insecurities.

On the eve of Syawal(the month after Ramadhan), i'd like to wish all my muslim frens Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan Batin. (wow... so cliched man. Say until like it no longer carries any meaning.) (this is the part that is more original, where tears roll down my cheeks and if possible, i'd be hugging u guys right now) Well, i noe i havent been the best of frens. Always avoiding contact or keeping conversations short or avoiding conversations with u guys or not wanting to hang out with u guys. Sorry for always rejecting ur offers to play pool or watch movies or go outside eat. Sorry for the times when my tone was filled with sarcasm or when my jokes are hurtful. Sorry for "lying" to u guys during Hari Raya some 4-5 years back. Sorry if my mama "lied" to u guys during Hari Raya some 4-5 years back. I guess some thing's simply cant be forgotten can it? It was my fault. Totally my fault. I wasnt sociable. I was new to the idea of going out with frens. I was young and afraid. I didnt want to go. As much as i want u guys to leave my mama out of it, i dun tink i can. My fault... totally my fault.... I made a fool of myself... and my mama too..(lucky this is only within a small circle)... In other words, sorry if i acted like a jerk.

Erms... btw, the above tt i typed, i dun tink i'll ever find the courage to say it out in real life. I'll just be the same old me. The lousy me. Forever the introvert. Forever me and blogs. Forever keeping everything to myself. So yea, i guess when we meet again some time soon, i'll still be e jerk i've always been lah. Sorry. (Am seeking forgiveness in advance.)

Anws, for e record, ive nvr did e "original" part before. And the above was composed with different grps of ppl in mind-- tts why abit longer. Always felt tt "Maaf zahir dan batin" was too cliched and beared little significance. So i wasnt sure if tt's the way to go abt doing it.... Hhaa.. anws, at least u guys have more to read coz it simply culd hv been "Selamat hari rayer Maaf zahir dan batin guys!" haha...

Well den, once again,... slamat hari rayer. Maaf zahir dan batin. Hope to c u guys soon =)

Love and fear

The malay movies on tv today all abt love sia. Haiz.... super dooper sweet man.... love... if only such things could happen in real life. Haha..!

In e first movie, the two lovebirds passed their exams in the ending-- our equivalent of Alevels? I'm not so sure... just some big exams. Den i was like, next week my exam... if only i'll be as happy as them when i get my result. Wah... den can like proceed wif life n ya..... But but but but but... i jz hv tis feeling tt i'd be taking a slightly longer time than u guys lah! Just a feeling though... trying not to get to carried away with it.

I'm no longer thinkin abt "someone"... abt blogging.... abt school... like no time to think at all ! Just do and do and do... den still gt springcleaning to do... 3 weeks. Just 3 weeks. And i'll be like a bird -- free to fly anywhere it wants. Nevertheless, the thought abt me taking a slightly longer time than the rest of you worries me.

Mama's worried too.
But she doesnt say much lah. Coz i kp sayin i scared and it's hard and all. And she like never say much. It's nice tt she didnt put pressure on me. It's also nice that she didnt say if i fail also nvm. The other day, we passed by a condo by Bedok reservoir and she said this one's better than Castle Green -- reminding me of the promise i made (it's in some entries back). It was sort of an assurance to me and mama tt i promise to do well. But but but but but... it's hard. I'm scared.

Wells, who cares if i'm scared or not? Haha.... actually, i not tt scared lah. Bluff bluff only. So dun worry. lol. Anws, tidied my closet -- folded the clothes and every other stuffs inside. Super neat already. And i discovered sthg rather funny. There's a new color tt has finally found it's way to my closet. haha... might not sound funny here but...i must say i'm rather amused by it.

Nites.. And oh, the lead actress in the first movie quite sweet seh. In the second movie oso got. haha.. And i tot they were both the same actress lah!

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Project Runway

Bored lah. Tired. Watched a bit of project runway. I'm kind of amazed at e ability some ppl hv lah! e contestants were brought to a supermarket & told to design a dress! Given $50. e shock of havin to create a dress out of groceries is one thing. But seeing how each one of them came up with ideas on the spot and seeing their final products like quite cool sia. Their decision making ability so power lah! Theyre given an hour to shop. Then gt tis guy hu decided on wat he wanted in like 30 minutes? Then during the making of e dress, which is like ard 8 hrs i tink, tis guy took only 15 minutes to do lah! haha! And his final product not bad sia! And he didnt get eliminated!Power rite? Well, dun tink i'm gonna watch other episodes lah. Too many models liao--not my kind of shows. I tot it was goin to be some normal reality tv shows lah! haiz...

Anws, guess what? The winner tonite.. tt Austin fella... he's quite cute sia. Haha.. as in, his glasses n his hair n e way he looks n all... like so cute. Erm... he's not too extreme...... he just seems so pure and innocent and feminine and cute. (just like me?) hha...jkjk..so glad he won lah! kk... tts it. See why i wun be watching project runway anymore?

Wells, ..i'm also actually very scared about nxt week -- scared to the extent tt i haven been tokin alot abt school in my entries. And i've been keeping to myself these few days man. Isolated. Dun mind being alone... yada yada yada... it's my personality. The tests were right. If u do a search, u'll find tt in April, someone told me tt i'm sensitive. And "feminine", haha... i knew it all along coz i grew up wif mama and grandma and aunty mah and my dad of coz, but mostly ard women,so... i can sort of relate wif women. LOL! Tink it's kind of cool lah! But but but but but ... girls with 40% boyishness? haha.... u shuld probably sit for a retest! lol!

See... i'm hiding the fact tt i'm scared huh? jokes here and there to dilute my fear. Well den, i bettr be goin to do some stuffs. Maths 1, chem 3, maths 2,GP. Must psyche myself mentally for these papers man. I need more time! I need more practice! I'm not ready! Gonna simply make the most of this few days. THank god this year's raya at my house -- grandma's here. Meaning everyone would come here.No need to travel. Save time. Never hv time seem so precious. Haha...

Well guys,Nitez!