i noe i noe the answer but sometimes i just cant help but wonder why i am the way i am?
i noe i can be the best of friends and the best of brothers and the best of sergeants and the best of boyfriends and the best of husbands and the best of fathers and the best of anything but im just not being any of these.
why i dun like to go out. why i dun like to hang out with people who arent my younger brothers or why dun i like to spend or why u dun like to do this and that. i noe i can do all this but why dun i want to?
why dont i want to take the first step. why dun i want to take the next step. why do i take two steps backwards after taking one step forward.
why cant i be normal. why cant i be like other people. why cant i not be i?
why am i not afraid that i may lose my friends if i keep staying in my own shell? ahkim's words never fail to play in my head but i simply do not worry.
is it because im never around friends to be afraid of losing them? i sound like im a selfcentered individualistic guy. but i noe im not.
questions questions questions.....
im in the process of making myself a map. a path for me to take from now till the day i could live without a plan.
=)
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