A post for the new year

one month without writing... a surprise even for me...

the writer me used to write stuffs... tell stories... wonders alot...and dream a lot...

not now. Or should i say not at the time being.

Ive become a bit more pragmatic. Daydream less, more action.

My perspective of life, my life, has changed. An extra value meal hurts. 4 extra value meals is a no no. It's cheaper to get 4 packets of chicken rice. I never understood why parents had that way of thinking.... till recently.

How much am i spending? How much my family is spending? How much am i earning? Are we spending more than what i earn? How can we cut our expenditure? Should i work on weekends? Should i plan for the future? How far ahead ? 5 years? 10 years?

Questions that i never thought id think about had been thought thru. Well the answers to those questions would be splashed all over here if i was still the old me. But the new me says that some things are just meant to be confidential. But i have thought things thru, as far as the next 10 years. And rest assured that on paper, things shouldnt be too bad. So im worrying lesser now.

Living without a dad is bad enough, but without both ur mum and dad... its really bad. My mama's off for a month for the pilgrimage leaving us 4 at home alone. Me being in camp for 5 out of 7 days leaves them 3 at home alone. No one cooks... Besides eggs and maggie... So its just what u see is what u get. Wonder how long they can survive on bread and kaya. We could always go to our aunt's place to eat but nothing beats my mama's cooking. Wells looking at them i wonder how they'll live thru this few weeks. Can they manage their money well? What will they be spending their money on? What time would they sleep? Would my sis be using the com all night long since theres no one to restrict her? Who will sweep the floor and clean the toilet and water the plants now that there's no one to either do or reminds us to do? Have we really learnt so much from our mama that we'll take more initiatives on our own?

If only i get a penny for every thought that i think about...

Dun wanna talk too much. So ill try to end.

A new year means new resolutions.

I want to be a good dad. And i want my mama to be happy. And i want to start being happy with what i am and what i have.

Also gotta apologise if im starting to drift apart from u guys... I can only hope that time can make things back to how it was before.....

Take care. Have a good year ahead.