The Transfer

3 months and a couple of weeks later, I learnt about my transfer to a new site. Work has been a good experience - made better by fellow colleagues and workers. October takes me to a new site, a new boss, a new team. I'm thankful to have been given the opportunity to be part of a new project. The chance to work at the very early stage of a project will allow me to understand and learn the activities and procedures involved. 

Work takes me to Potong Pasir - approximately an hour away from home. Away from the girl who always sends her younger brother to school at 7.20am. Away from my fellow project engineers who were always there for me whenever I'm lost. Away from the uncles who never fails to share advice and their experience in hopes that I'll keep their sharing in mind should I become a project manager one day. Away from morning chats over breakfast with Mama. 

Sometimes, I feel as though work takes me away from my old self.  

Journal Writing

Yesterday, I encouraged the P6 kids to continue writing journals even though it was their last APEX session. I shared how writing journal entries will eventually help them express their thoughts better as well as improve their command of English. Told them how after much writing, they'll eventually pay attention to the spelling and grammar and how the sentences sound.

I urged them to be reflective. Writing about stuffs makes one think and reflect. For the kids who disliked journal writing sessions (most of the guys, it seems), I told them to be reflective without writing. I urged them to reflect on every action, mistakes. I said how words and bullying may hurt others and by being reflective, hopefully they'll be more mindful in their interactions.

To the kids who wrote well, I reminded them not to throw away their journals. I even volunteered to help safekeep them if needed. I shared how I wished I still had the journals I wrote in the past and wondered how my thought process was like back then to see how much I've grown.

I mentioned that the person they are right now will most probably be the person they'll become 15 years down the road so I again stressed on the importance of being reflective. Build on their strength, identify weaknesses and bad traits and try to minimize them and change for the better.

Life is more than just the PSLE. I told them that I know of individuals who have done well in primary school but do not do as well 15 years down the road as compared to those who've not done as well.

Many was said. A kid raised her hand and told me to extend her an invitation to my wedding - to which I replied, "Insyaallah. Not in the near future though." On hindsight, I smiled on my way back home wishing I had replied, "Insyaallah. Do make dua for me so that I may find that someone in order to make that wedding invitation possible."

It's nice to see the kids happy to see me after 3 months of absence. May they grow up to be nice individuals.

One train hides another?

Funny how I feel somewhat disappointed with myself when I found out that someone who once caught my attention is being courted by another - even though I don't see myself doing anything (which adds to the disappointment).

Courage? Fate? Perhaps now's not the time? Or perhaps I'm too used to spending time without anyone else. Insyaallah, one day.

On my way to work every morning, I often cross path with another who holds the hand of a younger brother and waits for his school bus to come. Some days, the bus would wait near the traffic light impatiently - judging from its incessant loud honks. And as I walk towards the traffic light to get to the train station, I would see her walking briskly with her brother by her side. I couldn't help but notice that her brother was wearing the uniform of a special school. I couldn't help but wonder her routine every morning. Her patience and love for her younger brother every morning catches my eye. 

Sometimes, if I'm a minute later than usual, she'd walk towards me, towards where she came from. And I'd look anywhere but her like as though I never noticed her. Perhaps one day, I'll look at her and smile. Say hi.

Or perhaps not.

Patience

Work is beginning to consume me. This past week was a lesson about patience and anger. For the first time, anger felt like a fire that spreads when one fails to extinguish it fast. A careless comment by an individual had sparked a flame deep inside me. My inability to control it resulted in me passing on that anger to those who cross my path. Passing that anger on not only made me more angry, it didn't make work any easier.

Note to self: Douse the flames of anger as quickly a possible.

A week on, looking back I realize that work will never be forever rosy. Roses will one day wither. And then a new one appears.

Be patient. Persevere. Stay strong.