Saturday, July 28, 2012

Graduation and Other Scribbles

It's been a while.

It's been almost a week into Ramadhan. I've always wanted to lead the family for prayers but for some reasons, getting everyone together all of a sudden just wasnt easy. But when Mama reiterated her desire  to pray together, I realized that perhaps it's about time I tried once more. Perhaps in time, my siblings will be more receptive to the idea of praying in a congregation. Meanwhile, I don't mind being mama's imam. That's a start.

The day I put on my graduation gown finally arrived. I don't feel the excitement nor the need to celebrate. Loved seeing old friends though - friends whom I will miss. Wished I could hug and thank them for being such lovely friends but I have a problem expressing feelings. So I hugged and thanked them in my mind and hoped that somehow, they get that vibe. Studying felt like an obligation I needed to fulfill. I stuck to my job, completed it and now I'm slightly more than a month into my next obligation - work.  I didn't see the need to be happy nor be proud of my achievement cause honestly, I do not feel as though I've done much. All I did was study.

Thankful I am to have been given the opportunity to have gone this far, alhamdulillah. I want to start thinking of ways and means to live a life that'll make a difference in someone else's life. Hope to start with Mama, and then the family and more.

Grandma was admitted to the hospital again. One could only pray that she gets well soon. 

Graduation to me feels like a day to reflect and be thankful to all who's been involved in my life. My father, grandmother, mother, auntie, sister and my brothers as well as the friends whom I've met and made friends with all these years. My heartiest thanks.

8 comments:

Mutiara Bernilai said...

salam Ramadhan,

^__^

Alhamdulillah, saya rs bila dapat berjemaah dgn ahli keluarga, itu sebenarnya satu hadiah yg saaaaaaangat besar.. tak mengapa, mulakan dengan mama pun ok,,insyaAllah, yang lain akan mengikut kemudian.. :)

oh. tahniah for ur graduating, moga ilmu bermanfaat tuk dunia n akhirat..dan ilmu tu semakin membuatkn kita lebih dekat dgn Tuhan,,

susah express perasaan? if there any chance kamu lahir bulan 8 atau 10? fiufiufiu~

marzuki said...

Wa alaikumussalaam,

Thanks and ameen to the dua! (:

And yes, saya bayi bulan oktober. But whats e relation bw one's birth month and way of expressing feelings?

Mutiara Bernilai said...

lebih kpd psikologi punya kcenderungan.. tapi semua ni boleh berubah berdasarkan environment and family background..


takde pape la.. saya sesaja je make a wild guess.. sbb kbiasaanya baby october/august/ or no 8 people susah sket nak express feeling. ehehe.. ini bukan fakta. :)

marzuki said...

hahah. interesting guess! lebih interesting lagi jika ada some explanation to tt wild guess. Mungkin bayi oktober is also someone who pays attention to details and thinks too much?

Mutiara Bernilai said...

eheh. shall i make another wild guess huh? :)

ini 'wild' aje tau..main tebak2 sahaja..

orang tu, MUNGKIN, seorang yang agak intelek, dan di sebabkan tu, dia slalu susah nak decide sesuatu keputusan, sbb banyak sangat dia fikir sebelum buat apa2..dan dia bersikap 'suka sgt terlebih fikir' ni atas sbb kerana dia seorang yg agak perfectionist, teliti dan sgt suka menganalisa..jadi, these led him to think too much.. lagi, penyayang, but dunno how to show..people tend to nilai dia as sombong even sbenanye dia x, sbb well, dia ni x pandai nak express bkasih syg ni..an observer jugak (observer ni pun ade pd sikap saya).. oh, oso got leadership talent :)


eh. tapi yg d atas ni wild guess aje tau..bukan merujuk kpd kamu semata2.. dan bukan fakta.. eheh.. banyak lg wild guess, tapi macam terlebih2 pulak nanti kan? lagi2 tak semestinya betul.. :)

all d best kamu!

* xnak publish komen ni pun x pe :)

marzuki said...

i would say tt the observations are spot on (tp im pretty sure u didnt derive tt purely from my birth month kan? haha. agaknye uve subconciously analyzed me from my posts - jd its not really a wild guess. heh.) Careful, analytical, slightly intellectual, often misunderstood observer who leads only when others do not - I am.

Sambil sy menulis comment ni, one word comes to mind - fear. Becos im afraid of what others might think or say or react, im careful. I observe and analyze and wait.

Sbb kdg kala, the more we talk, the higher the probability of hurting others (even higher probability for someone who cant express himself well!). Nk kena register utk klas komunikasi agaknye...

Mutiara Bernilai said...

^___^

tepat?kena belanja babskin robin ni..

--------
sy suka-kan manusia. daie mmg perlu suka-kan manusia kan? sebab tu saya ikut several classes such kelas2 psikologi, komunikasi, NLP, coaching, consultancy, writing dll..

tentang kamu, saya pun x tahu nak cakap macam mana, actually saya bukanlah kenal awk, ya, i do read ur blog, tp mcm bkn strong point tuk sy 'baca'@'nilai' awk..but, yeah, mungkin betul juga apa yg awk cakap tu..based on my subconcious kan? *but to be honest, i do some calculation based on ur birthdate*

nway, kalau ada ruang, attend la mana2 course yg boleh baiki skill kita..penting untuk kita approach madh'u..terutamanya keluarga n ibu bapa.. seriously, setiap org ada karakter semulajadi masing2..ada kunci masing2..once dah dapat kunci, senang sket utk kita approach..selainnya, serah kpd Allah :)


saya pun masih dlm proses belajar dan memperbaiki ..

marzuki said...

haha.ice cream rainbow paddle pop je boleh tak? and tts a lot of clsses. will make time to learn new stuffs insyaallah. whats e meaning of madh'u?

And mcm mana nak dapat that "kunci"?