Saturday, August 11, 2012

Deeper Conversation

"Bro, I've a friend who asked me to help her to ..."

And immediately I know where the conversation will head to for the next 15 minutes.

"She's my friend from secondary school. Likes to keep a low profile. A good person. And I'm asking you first."

In my heart, I wondered if this was how I'll be introduced to my future special someone. Funny how conversations during occasional gathering of friends slowly evolve. One asked if we've actually done calculations as to how much money is required for marriage in Singapore - the majlis, the hantaran, gifts, the ring, getting a flat, savings to renovate and furnish that flat and so on. Such high activation energy. I tried to do a quick mental sums but some values are unknown to me - like how would I know how much a ring would cost me or what's the current "market rate" for hantaran. From the couple of Facebook pictures shown to me, she does seem to fall in my definition of nice.

"Ali, you look deep in thoughts. What are you thinking about?"

I didn't know people could see me thinking.

"So how? Interested tak?"

How, he asks? I could write a hundred pages and still not know how it's supposed to be like. At the moment, I've got nothing to offer anyone except my dreams. Committing to someone - even if it's just at the introduction stage - would be a tremendous commitment to make. It's one that I'm mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually not ready for. Not yet, and I do not know for sure when I'll be ready.

Seeing many of my friends go in and out of relationships ever since my secondary school days, I sometimes do wonder how they do it. Don't hearts get broken when the relationship fails? Do hearts really get stronger after such an episode? Gotta think of a reply fast, I reminded myself.

I smiled. "At the moment I'm not really ready yet."

But I'm honoured that I'm the first person that came to mind. You must've seen something within me that I myself could not. I hope one day I'll wake up and realize what I need to realize.

"Ah, the food's here. So tell me, how's work?" Smiles and changes the topic.


Y said...

"If you wait til you're ready, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life."

marzuki said...

im preparing myself to be ready. hoping it doesnt take forever. haha. we'll see. drafting a 2-year-plan.

Mutiara Bernilai said...


pesan ustaz, jika kita lihat wajah (suara, tutur kata, tulisan) bakal pasangan, kita rasa tenang dan damai untuk perasaan kita berteduh..insyaAllah, lakukan solat hajat dan istikharah, then go for it.. :)

pesan bapak, once niat kita lurus nak nikah sbb nak beribadat kpd Allah.. Dia, dengan Maha Kaya-Nya Dia, akan membuka segala jalan rezeki untuk kita..

sy doakan awk mendapat jodoh yang baik dan soleh :)

marzuki said...

Hehe. Terima kasih. Kerana sudi berkongsi nasihat ustaz Dan ayah kamu. Kerana doamu.

The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said; “The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Everytime he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: `Ameen! May it be for you, too’.” [Muslim].