The Past 10 Days

30th Nov, Wednesday:
It's 246am as I scribble this few words. I just watched Harry Potter 7 Part 2. Awesome.

29th Nov, Tuesday:
Bored at home, I went to school. To the lab and did some work for my final year project.

28th Nov, Monday:
I took my Final Theory Test. Hope to get my driving license by the time i start work.

27th Nov, Sunday:
Soccer in the morning. Visited grandma in the afternoon.

26th Nov, Saturday:
Stayed at home. United drew Newcastle. They're starting to annoy me.

25th Nov, Friday:
Solidwaste Management paper ends. Exams end!

24th Nov, Thursday:
Engineers and Society paper ends. A friend met with a road accident on his way to the paper. Alhamdulillah, he was alright.

23rd Nov, Wednesday:
Spent the day studying.

22nd Nov, Tuesday:
Traffic Engineering paper ends. Tough one. I hope I did enough.

21st Nov, Monday:
An hour before my first paper begin, I received an sms from my sister saying that she was on her way to Nyai's house from work. It was probably noon. Something didnt feel right so I switched my phone off. And sat for my exam.

At 4pm, I asked her what's wrong. And she said that our grandmother had been sleeping since morning and have not woken up. Everyone in the family was there. I prayed for the best. The doctor came. I reached just in time to follow her in the ambulance. Soon after, she was admitted. She was admitted for a couple of days. Now's she's fine, alhamdulillah.

Life. The past 10 days.

Grandmother

As I looked at her, I remembered the woman who scolds me whenever I've not prayed. I was probably 7. And 8. And 9. And 10. And 11 years old. And thereafter, whenever she's around, I made sure I prayed before she scolds me. I remember praying for her to live a long life, long enough to see me get married. When you're 7 or 8, marriage would seem like a long time away. Perhaps, if my grandmother hadn't pushed me to pray regularly at an early age, I would've been a somewhat different person.

Her speech today was noticeably unclear. She mumbles. She doesn't remember her late husband's name. She doesn't remember me. She's seeing people and things that are not there. It just breaks my heart.

The coming week will be filled with exams - a paper on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. After that, slightly more than a month's break (with final year project in between). I hope I've done enough to carry me through.

Funny, she sounds like me

Studying for exams usually makes the brain dead. It kinda sucks the life out of life. You look at your lecture notes and past year papers, trying to understand and make sense of things. Repeated attempts does not make you smarter. Time run out. You sit for the exams. Life resumes when everything ends and ends as soon as your results are out. The cycle has been repeating for the past sixteen years. I, have not lived.

Anyway, Mum's wisdom. She says she talks to my brothers about things, that includes issues her friends are facing when dealing with children, to see how they react and respond. If their response is wise and mature, she's comforted. If their response isn't, then she'll try to educate/influence/persuade them into looking at the matter from different perspectives - like from the perspective of a mother, for example.

Funny, coz she sounds just like me.

Sometimes, I listen to my heart

6 months, insyaallah.

Breathing through blocked nose

It's been a week of late nights, presentations, meetings, report writing, rainy days, cold lecture halls and skipped meals. Now I can finally breathe easy **cues Blue's "Breathe Easy"** - through blocked nose, sorethroat, fever and headaches. Never drink Ice Blended Mango juice on a rainy night.

Exams in two weeks. Mama slipped and fell and hurt herself two days back. On Friday, she didn't get up to make us breakfast. But she's alright now. She tripped and fell at around the same place at the back of the house some weeks back. Two falls in the space of two weeks making me worried. Falls are bad especially at her age.

A friend's getting married next June. Another's getting engaged next month. wow. Time flies. We used to be kids playing pokemon cards and quarrel over silly little things.

When Im unwell, words dun quite flow. Feeling drowsy. Cough med starting to kick in. Sleep.