Resolve

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Every action starts with enthusiasm (i.e. “Shirrah”: excitement, enthusiasm, keenness, energy, fervor, zeal, a spiritual high) and then the enthusiasm wanes." 

He then goes on to give us the solution: “So anyone whose enthusiasm wanes but (remains within the limits of) my Sunnah will be successful, but anyone whose enthusiasm wanes and drifts away to something else, will be doomed.”

Spent most part of the day in a lecture and the above struck me - how our iman rise and fall. I dislike how some days I feel motivated and some days I do not. I dislike how some days I feel distracted. I've been thinking over it this past couple of hours and figured if I wrote this down, it would somehow be etched in my mind like a permanent reminder.

Dear me,

1. Stay away from television, the smart phone, YouTube, Facebook and the likes. Try.

It distracts. It takes you on a ride through Belgium, Brussels, Istanbul and you get nothing much from it. Hours go by, a movie follows another and another (MioTV had some free movie channels over the festive period), and you're in loss. Granted you were on off from work, but still. Read a book. Take a walk. Exercise.

2.  Clear your mental list.

There's a list of things to do in that mind of yours like doing a summary sheet for the past 6 sessions of Arabiq, or the report for December, packing your luggage, doing research on the history of the places you'll be visiting. Or read up more on strutting work processes. Or excavation sequence.

3. Memorize Juz Amma

You had set yourself a target but didnt really work towards it. Cultivate discipline within yourself. "Distract" yourself by memorizing/reading.

4. Make dua

Make lots of dua. Pray for patience. Pray for His guidance when you're feeling distracted or lost. Or when you can't seem to do anything fruitful.

2013. 2014

Thoughts not written will fade. And there's been many thoughts that I wanted to write but I simply let them go. But here's something that I had wanted to write some days back but didn't:

I had just finished my prayers and memory came into my mind. We used to sleep under the same blanket. Some nights when the air con temperature was low, I would give up part of the blanket just so that you could sleep comfortably. But that was many years ago. Now they're both grown up and I could only steal moments to be close to them only when they're asleep. Boys will be boys. If I had an elder brother, I too wouldnt want to be treated like I'm still six!

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2013 has been the year where I tried to establish myself in my career. There were ups and downs. The showflats. The piling. The excavation. The bosses. The senior. The learning. 6 days a week has made work occupy a significant portion of my 2013 - something which I kinda dislike very much. It dilutes pretty much every other more important things.

May 2014 be a year where I make work my number 2 priority in life.

Growing up

She was excited when my brother had expressed interest to apply for a position in the Navy. However, when she saw the blank application form in the kitchen, she wondered if he had changed his mind. We later found out that he had withdrawn his application on his own accord. When asked, he mentioned that he needed two guarantors for the said application - and that I'm not eligible as I'm currently one for my sister.

He saw how difficult it was for my sister to find a guarantor - especially when she approached some cousins. And I guess he didn't want us to go through the same "begging" process.

While I'm somewhat disappointed that he hadn't consulted me or my mum in the matter, I'm also glad coz it shows how far he's grown. I wouldn't have minded helping him ask around on his behalf. I have several friends in mind whom I could have asked.

Well, I guess things happen for a reason. At the very least, I hope I've gotten the point across to him and his twin clearly - that wherever possible, I'll be there to help.

Sensitive old people

I used to find old people weird. 

Weird because they get slighted over the littlest things. They get upset when we do not drop them a call for a long time. They get upset at the slightest rejection of their ideas. They get upset when others do not agree with them. Their hearts seem softer and much more sensitive than they used to be. And I wondered why. Weird, they are... until one day someone shared a perspective that I find pretty interesting. 

The older one becomes, the closer one is to Death. This "newfound" sensitive nature - a reminder and preparation for death. The distance that may form between us and those around us makes us become closer to the One that created us. When we feel as though the world's against us, we're reminded of the One who is always there for us. I find it amazing how He reminds and guides us even when we're approaching death - like the kind invigilator who reminds and gives additional few minutes to those who're frantically racing to complete the exam paper.

As it's often the case for me, it's only when I feel alone that I find myself find Him.