Watched my 3 siblings performed yesterday. It was nice but the thing about band performances is that unless ure playing solo, u cant really be heard. I know it's obvious but if only i could hear what my brothers are playing.

Anyways, was proud that my sister got mentioned by the conductor before the final piece. I realised her role in the band -- though along with it came the constant nagging from my mother for being to occupied with band and coming home late. And yea she did a short solo. Well done.

A month to go.... a new beginning. NTU civil engineering.

My Age

yes i was happy to sad within seconds. I was sad for 5 seconds and then, i was proud of myself.

I was brilliant. I was confident.
I was doing something beyond my age.
It was as if ive been doing it for 4 years.....
One would be forgiven if he thinks ive been doin it for 10 years.....
I know im good.

Which was why 28 would be just about the right age... end NS at 20. Graduate from NUS law school .... a couple or so years practicing law.... would be 28 by then..

"He may look 20 but i dun think one can be so brilliant at such a young age.... I'll guess 28", she thought.

However, i humbly admit that i wun be as brilliant as i am now without the influence of some -- whose wisdom, advice and influence have shaped me to be the person i am and insyaallah, the person i will be in future. And I appreciate having to leave home each day knowing tt i will learn something useful. To which im truly thankful. But it pains me each time i ask myself how does one repay for all that he has received?

I digressed. I was proud of myself. I was brilliant way beyond my age. Thank God.

Thank you.

Happy to sad within seconds.

I was told that i look young. She asked my age.
Told her to guess.
She guessed.
And I was sad.

I noe of a guy who's happy when told he's 28.
Rightfully so coz he's way way older than that.

But for a "young" guy like me, 28 is old. 38 is very old.

I heard that some girls like older guys. How about young guys who look .... not so young?

Map of Orchard Road courtesy of Wikitravel.org

Imagine being lost in a foreign city. You look around and there's not one thing that you can recognize. You see a map that shows where u are. Yet the place you're heading to isnt shown on that map. You want to ask for directions but u realise that ure actually lost in your own city. You dun look like a tourist. So off you wander into the unknown....

........ and being the hero you know u are, u emerge victorious...

Lesson 1: Starbucks and Old Chang Kee are everywhere like nobody's business. There's both opposite Far East Plaza and opposite Meritus Mandarin.

Lesson 2: Hero just realised there's a Far East Shopping Centre and a Far East Plaza.

Lesson 3: Though u may think u dun look like a tourist, just stop and ask for direction. The people around you would think that you're one.

Lesson 4: Walking in Orchard Road wearing office wear and sweating is a definite no no. One should consider wearing an inner shirt.

Lesson 5: Carry a map of Orchard Road the next time ure heading there alone.

The story above is based on a story of my poor dear friend. He agreed to me writing his story on my blog so long as i didnt mention his name. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

No matter how beautiful red shoes are,

i think they only look their best on display.

-- it should never be worn.

Somehow ive walked by two ladies in red shoes. And though both look decently good, all i can remember is the ugly red shoes.

Till i meet someone who can make ugly red shoes look beautiful...

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
‘Til it was a battle cry
I’ll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything’s changing
Doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say goodbye

You’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say goodbye

Now we’re back to the beginning
It’s just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can’t feel it too
Doesn’t mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
‘Til they’re before your eyes
You’ll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You’ll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

The Call by Regina Spektor

Didnt find the song nice when i first heard it. But watching the movie suddenly made the song so much more meaningful and beautiful.

"You'll come back when they call you....... No need to say goodbye...."

But what if before u could come back, He takes you away? ...... And i didnt manage to say goodbye? Wouldnt i be crushed?

My Chemical Romance, or should i say, romance with Chemistry has officially come to an end.

Was asked by a neighbour to teach -- of all subjects, chemistry. Told him my history with Chemistry and that i would give it a shot for a lesson and see how it goes.

My history with Chemistry
Always felt that Chemistry is a fun subject.
Mixing chemicals here and there. Who knows i might be a scientist one day?
However, after failing all my chemistry tests in Sec 3, I was advised to drop
it. But thinking that ive got "passion" for Chem and my self-believe that i can
do it, i held on to the subject.

I end up doing better in Chem than Physics for my Os,
which i myself find rather odd.

Same thing happened in JC -- the failing part. But
lightning doesnt strike twice. Ended up just passing my chEmistry. That was when i realised chemistry is more than
just mixing chemicals and having fun.

It's about the mol and the calculations and the cations
and anions and the electrolysis and the organic chemistry and the list just
refuse to end.

To cut the story short, i told my neighbour, "I'm sorry, I cant teach Chemistry. However, just revise and try your best coz ive failed my tests and ended up doing better than my Physics."

And he replied, "I'll bring physics and maths when i come down next week." Not that im good at Physics and Maths..... im just better at it than chemistry.

Though my romance with Chemistry is over, she still refuses to leave me alone. Im aware that ive got Chemistry during my first year in NTU.

We'll see how it goes.

Sunday morning tears are falling Part 2

2 years..... 2 Father's Day have passed.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Sunday morning tears are falling Part 2

Its been 2 weeks and am i glad to have been with him on all 3 weekends. I knew this day would come. It was only a matter of time. He put up a tough fight but when its time for him to leave, he'll havta leave.

Its quite hard to hold back the tears. But i realise i have to coz now im the man of the family. Ive gotta be strong and stable so tt my family noes there's someone like dad still around in the family. I worry for mama. Remember how she had stomach pains just days b4 dad got admitted to the hospital. Well now tt dad's no longer wif us, who would wake me up to tell me tt mama's in pain? Who would bring her to the 24hrs clinic if anything were to happen in the early hours of the morning? But since im in camp 6 days a week, i wonder how things will run at home...

I wonder abt things i think i should wonder abt. Our mthly income. My siblings education. My education. Mama. Though ppl tell me not to worry abt tis sort of things, i wonder.... if its ever possible.

But nevertheless, dad left us a roof to live under. All paid for. I ll see wat i can do to get things back to normal, even though i noe it can never be the same again.

The sole breadwinner. Never tot it would be so soon. im only 18. But God willing, we'll sail out of this darkness together as a family.

Fathers' Day never meant anything to me..... So now i noe. Appreciate ur dad's sacrifices and hard work. Never take him for granted. Never assume that he owes u a living. Give him the respect he deserves. Even if he's unreasonable or overly protective or too conservative or what not. Its never too early to tell ur dad u love him. Do not wait till the very end. Trust me. And yea, hug ur dads dearly while u still can.

Wells, till next time. Happy Father's Day.

Posted by marzuki at 18.6.06

There are times when time simply refuse to move at a slightly faster rate. The second hand of the clock will have to tick.... tick..... tick .... tick..... sixty times and that's just a minute out of the many minutes tt u wish would just end.

However, there are times when u simply wish that time simply stood still. People around you are not moving.....

........ Except you and whomever you choose.

But just when you thought that time had frozen specially for you, you suddenly realise that hours had passed. You ask time why did the second hand chose that moment to suddenly tick faster?

However, looking back, how i wish i could turn back time and do it all over again.

In general, sensible people know the importance of time.

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day, allow you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!

Well, everyone has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off,as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the
day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who has failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a daily wage laborer who has kids to feed.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who has avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLI-SECOND, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time ... and remember that time waits for no one. . .

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that's why it's called the
present!

-Author Unknown

"And we enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In pain upon pain did his mother bear him and his weaning took two years. So show gratitude to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destiny. But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. Yet bear them company in this life with justice and consideration and follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the end, the return of you all is to Me and I shall tell you (the truth and meaning of) all that you used to do."

(Surah Luqman, 31: 14-15).

The only time when one is allowed to disobey one's parents. Besides this, there's no reason not to be good to them.

Watched Ayat Ayat Cinta yesterday. After hearing so much of it at work, how people were moved and all, i decided to watch it. It was a nice show. But it didnt really move me to tears. I was wondering where's the part that'll make me cry. Where's the part that made them cry?

Perhaps not sitting in a theater diminished the effect the movie might have had on me. But that said, it made me want to be a better person. Imagine being able to quote hadith or excerpts from the Quran to explain how Muslims should conduct ourselves. Of course, the fact that it managed to impress Aisha made it all the more reason for me to be a better person.