Monday, August 29, 2011

Final day

It's been a week of self-confinement, thoughts wise.

A friend asked if something happened coz I become less cheerful. Another asked, "Why so serious?" and said, "Be flexible. Laugh." How do I explain to them that I smile only when no one's looking? And that I smile when I'm supposed to laugh and I laugh only when I'm supposed to roll-on-floor-laughing or laugh-out-loud. There's enough reasons that I can think off for me not to smile or laugh for no good reason. Just knowing there's someone out there quietly suffering is enough reason for me - orphans, parents who do not receive their due respect, old people having to beg or collect cardboards, and the likes. And when I laugh, it's like I'm no longer sharing the pain and sorrow of these strangers. Not laughing as and when I please is like the least that I can do to acknowledge and respect these strangers. For I used to find myself suffering in silence too.

Or maybe, when I was a kid, I remember hearing from somewhere that it's better to cry now and laugh in the hereafter than to laugh now, and cry later.

Words. Words from the past I seem to remember and latch on to and attempt to live up to. Words said to me, if it's meaningful, I'll not forget. Words said to me, if it's hurtful, I'll forgive but not forget. Words said to me, if it's just empty words, I will forget.

The last day of Ramadhan. This year's definitely different from the previous one. Next year, I hope to do it some place different. Insyaallah.

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