Monday, September 26, 2011
I left a family gathering early. "Meeting some friends," said I. "You've got friends? I've always thought it's just you and your books."
In their eyes, I'm an anti-social mugger. In my friends' eyes, I'm the guy who's able to lead someone to the doorstep of heaven. And that I'd make a strict father. And that teaching might be a challenge given my gentle nature. And that I'm sarcastic and rude. And that I'm a good brother. And that I'm not an understanding person.
Some have told me I'm very focus and task oriented. Others said I'm too rigid and serious and should learn to relax. My sister said once that I'm not independent. I replied, I'm very very independent. Some have said that I'm a fussy eater. Others have said I'm just being selective. And there's the occasional "weird + loner" reference.
I'm too extroverted. I'm also too introverted. I talk alot. I talk too litte. Why so serious, they ask. I'm charming. Also an idiot.
And then I look at myself in the figurative mirror and wonder if someone can see through all my facades and tell me who I am. I think I need a shrink.