Destined Choices

Some lives are linked across time.

It's interesting to see the lives that are linked with mine as I sail across the sea called Time. These lives that intertwine with mine - I wonder if Destiny or Choice played the part. At times, I tell myself that it's choice. With the mouse in hand, I can choose whether to click "Send Request" to add individual X as friend. I can also decide when I want to add or I can even not add. At times, I'd like to think I'm in control.

However, things are never in my control. I can choose to add someone as a friend but there's always a probability that it might be rejected. I can pick the best words to write on someone's wall yet how the person reacts to it remains out of my control. I can choose to say Hey! to someone yet whether or not he or she replies is another story altogether. Things will never be in my control.

Some lives are linked across time. These lives, they're destined to be linked. I think. Like how I was destined to go 7 days without writing anything.

Inspirasi

"Somewhere there is another girl prettier than you, smarter than you, taller than you, skinnier than you. Another girl somewhere is more outgoing, more laid back, more interesting, more athletic. Another girl somewhere is not you. You may not be perfect, but someone someday will think you are. He will love you for each and every imperfection and flaw. He will wait all day just to see you and stay all night just to hold you. To him, you will be more than perfect, you’ll be the love of his life."

- Taken by a Blogger from a Livejournalist who took it from a Tumbler who reblogged it from another Tumbler who.... it'll never end.

Posts like the above never fails to put a smile on my face. The Livejournalist whom I copied the above from seems to be one full of hope and patience. She could be one who knows what she wants yet not go all out to get it. Every morning, she wakes up hoping a miracle would happen and that one day, insyaallah, she will meet the guy whom she's meant to be with. Idealistic individual I must say. She reminds me of me.

I'm looking outside my window right now as I let my thoughts settle down and I'm starting to realize that maybe just maybe, I'm attracted to individuals who do not try hard to impress. Individuals who live in their own little world with the own little group of friends. Individuals who are like me but not exactly like me. These individuals catch my attention. And I think I see that in my sweet distraction.

I do not think I am making the mistake of shutting everyone else out of my mind just because of one sweet distraction. Frankly, I think it's silly, but sweet. Idealistic individual I am. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. But even if it isn't, I still do pray for your safety and hope that all is well.

It has been 4 days since I last wrote. Besides the above, I'm thinking of learning the art of Silat. I'm inspired by what I saw during the IVP tournament over the weekend. So, let it be written that I'm daring myself to take up this challenge.

Of being grateful

Alhamdulillah, I cleared all my modules. Alhamdulillah, despite feeling worst than I ever felt, I actually did my bestest. THIS is weird. I was more distracted than ever this semester. And I was ready to defend the countless hours I had spent on floorball trainings just in case mama decides to use it against me. Thank god I no longer have to. Alhamdulillah.

Now I feel much more motivated to study. Study and distractions (like floorball) can go hand in hand. Effort is as important. Those hours spent overnight in school definitely helped somewhat.

Yesterday, I nearly wrote a post entitled "Why do we need friends?" Today, I've found my answer.

We need friends. These friends are the ones that keep you going when the going gets tough. Long hours on MSN, the silly (thankfully shortlived) quarrels, the words of encouragements, the annoyance and irritance - these things definitely went a long way to a memorable yet fruitful semester. Thank you for being my friends.

Yesterday i wrote, "So my advance apologies should you wake up the next morning only to find me gone without saying goodbye." Should I ever do that to anyone of you, promise me that you'll look for me. Find me, slap me, and tell me never to run without saying goodbye again. My advance heartfelt Thank You.

The Runner

Am I a runner?

When things go wrong, I pack up my stuffs and run to some place new to rebuild a new life. While I really do care about the people and things I leave behind, sometimes I feel that it's better to run than to fix broken stuffs. Why bother fixing only to see it come crashing down over and over again - knowing me?

I used to think I'm not a runner. Today, looking back at all the things I have done, I realize I am one. I run and I will keep on running, until I'm tired of running. So my advance apologies should you wake up the next morning only to find me gone ...

... without saying goodbye. Life sucks. Sometimes. At least there's Glee.