Friday, July 4, 2008

Fear of the Dark

For some unexplained reasons, i'll always feel uneasy when im out late.... ie. not home by 1030 irregardless of whether or not my reasons are good. (No i didnt went out with a girl, if ure reading and wondering where i went)

I looked at my watch. Imagined mother wondering why im later than usual. She knows ive got classes. Decided to call her only to realise she was asleep coz she was ill. I know i should be glad im spared from the naggings and what not.... but I wanted her to be up asking me where ive been and why i was late.

I looked around. Asked myself if i should take a cab and be home as early as i could or take mrt and risk worrying her, even if she was asleep? I decided on the former. And I prayed preety hard for a cab coz i was once again, in unfamiliar grounds. It's already late at night, definitely past my bedtime. And my heart was beating faster than normal. And as i walking with no real sense of direction, i walked straight towards a taxi. Thank god.

While in the cab, i wonder why the fear of coming back home late. I thought i was past that. And thank god ive finally found the answer.

I crept into the toilet in mother's room to wash up. She was sleeping. But when i stepped out, she told me she had only fried eggs and some vegetables. And i almost felt like crying . She didnt ask where i went or what i did. I told her i'll eat tomorrow. Instead she got up and went to the kitchen and wanted to prepare something for me. Though i was quite hungry, (i think she knew) i insisted she went back to bed and assured her i could take care of myself. I told her insyaallah i wun get gastric. And she went back to sleep after washing the things in the sink... And she nagged about how sister needs to be told what to do and went back to sleep.

Finally, whatever doubts i had about being home late was gone. I may be old enough to be home late but there's someone whose always waiting whom i cant disappoint....

ps: Coffeebean's choclate drink should never be confused with milo --it's actually 95% milk, 4% chocolate and 1% irritating bubbles. My first and i dun see myself in one in the near future....

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