Friday, July 25, 2008

A trip down memory lane

Are you really here or am I dreaming I can’t tell dreams from truth For it’s been so long since I have seen you I can hardly remember your face anymore When I get really lonely and the distance calls its only silence I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

3 years ago, my entries are long. And i just realised that back then, I did cutting and pasting too and there i was talking to you about your long entries. Today reminded me of me back then. And here's an excerpt of an entry that i had:

Sthg for me to read when i got the time... "We all noe wat it's like 2 get "butterflies" wen someone we're attractd 2 walks into a room, but how do we know wen it's love & not simply an infatuation? Is it Crush? Infatuation? Love?

Anw, its definitely 'Mind Boggling or Mind Blowing'. Surfing thru e Net or driving on e roads of life, u encounter many a people who become ur frens. Some frens are cool, some aloof, some near, some far. These frens tend to be so open wif u & most of e teenagers feel e fun of flirting, some get infatuated and soon when once e message flow stops – everything Freezes! The friendship flops and vanish into thin air! All remains is memories & those sweet or bitter memories reminds of a human interaction, a longing to talk to someone, whoever you encounter on e roads of Internet. 

Relationships in frenship do have its own charm and tt frendship which lasts a life long is e ‘true friendship’ and rest is wat u call ‘crush’ or ‘flirting’ or ‘infatuation’ or ‘acquaintances’ or ‘having wee bit of scoop in life’. Infatuation can be characterized as feeling excited , physically and emotionally, when a particular person is present or even when thinking about the person. When you are infatuated with someone, the tendency to dwell solely on the person's good qualities while neglecting the negative ones is present. This is not love; placing someone on a pedestal sets you up for disappointment and hurt. 

With infatuation comes a total devotion to the point of loss of one's identity and self. Infatuation can be particularly dangerous if the person becomes such a dominant part of your life that you are no longer able to live up to your responsibilities. Having a "crush" on someone is a normal part of growing up and discovering what kind of person you would like to be in a relationship with. If kept in perspective, these crushes can be exciting.

 Being in love seems to bridge the gap between infatuation and true love. It encompasses the intense and passionate feelings at the beginning of a romantic relationship; the excitement of hearing your partner's voice on the telephone or staying up all night talking and watching the sunrise. Eventually, the newness of the relationship wears off and the "spark" may not be as strong. However, this does not mean that the relationship is over. Nevertheless, it is important to assess whether you are losing your attraction or interest in the other person or whether your feelings are simply developing toward a higher level- more intense love.

Loving someone goes deeper than infatuation or the intensity of feelings surrounding a new relationship. It involves an unconditional acceptance of another person's beliefs, thoughts and feelings. This does not mean, however, that you must agree with the person on all matters in order to love him or her, but an appreciation and respect for opinions and emotions is vital. 

Love takes time to develop and involves sharing one's thoughts, feelings, dreams, disappointments and triumphs. Love must also exist at a level in which each person can maintain a sense of his or her identity apart from the relationship. Loving someone entails acknowledging and accepting everything about him or her, both good and bad. Your personal growth should not be stunted by the relationship but, rather, must develop more fully because of the relationship.

 Loving someone and building a solid relationship is an ongoing process; it will be filled with conflicts and resolutions and should never be taken for granted. To love or to be loved is the greatest gift one can give or receive from another.

So, What is Crush then? You feel low, falling apart, flying high in the skies or being pricked by a thousand thorns inspite of the fragrance of a rose, when the heaven meets the hell and you feel all is ‘Oh so, exciting yet malign’ – You are having a Crush!! Crush is no too young or too old for any person. Anybody can have a Crush, be it a teenager or a 40 Plus! Traditions insists on a certain age gap between a guy and a girl in love and the girl got to be younger but that’s no longer the rule! A crush throws traditions out of the floor. The relationship in friendship can be matched to a younger girl and older man or a married man and young girl or married women too. So, what if you get caught in this age old trap? What if you feel that you have a Crush? It happens any time, anywhere, someday, somewhere in everybody’s life. Isnt this true? All one got to remember is ‘Smooth sailing Relationship’ with soft hearts but no broken relations if one got to stay happy, make happy, stay cool. Just Remember.. Stay cool. Make sure the person you like so dearly is not married because it sooner or later spells disaster. If you do so, keep the friendship a distance and let not your emotions go haywire. After all, many people learn this from experiences only. If your Crush is too young, treat her right! Don’t scare them out of your wits. Just be cool friends, give positive signals of openness to make her realize that you care. Even if you don’t get encouragement to positive signals, let go. Don’t hurt yourself or the other. Do not tell tales about your Crush as it would only harness yours and her reputation spreading rumors about your relationship. If your crush is too old, Watch out! Snoop around a bit and get to know how her reputation holds mportance. If you think of her as a flirt, the warning signal but if she is a flirt like all libras and Leos do, just remember that she lives a lot in realities and you will sooner or later realize your own mistake! Don’t get smitten with love bite but be cool to let your relationship take on a lighter tone while flirting and think positive that some relationships are inspirations and encouragements too. These things are more important to back you up in pursuing your responsibilities in life. Staring, sending cards, making phone calls, sending messages and stuff should mean something but let not those emotions run wild. It may happen that your crush is more mature and finds such things ‘Silly’. Just ‘Be yourself’ Do not act in haste, make a show-off, smoke, drink or drive senseless to impress someone. In any case, mature people don’t change themselves to please others. Stop those ‘Blank calls’ and all the crazy ways if you have the Crush. Soon you realize its only a ‘Crush’ but if you think, you like the friendship, go ahead and be practical instead of being crazy because friends are forever. 

If you think, your emotions are chasing high, stop, think and analyze and then, go and let your Crush know point-blank what she means to you or you are interested. If you feel you are right, you are right and stick tight but if you don’t have those reciprocal relationship treat, just Relax, stay cool – catch the hold of the moment, let the heart beat into the sweet memories forever."

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