Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The arrival of syawal
Hearing the takbir over the radio made me sad - the saddest ive felt in a long long while. The dinner table just felt a person short and i could just imagine him standing at the gate, looking at us one final time, and then leaving.
The morning of Syawal just no longer feels the same any more. Odd. Incomplete. And feeling helpless trying to be both me as well as the backbone of the family is so not helping keep my spirits up. Sometimes, jealousy do creep in when I see complete families happy. But i know things happen for a good reason. And that I should be grateful and thankful for what i have as well as for what i do not.
But ive also heard that one cannot be sad on the first day of Syawal, so I wont be.
Have a great Hari Raya all. Maaf zahir dan batin. For all the hurtful things that I might have said or done, knowingly or unknowingly.
On a different note, i got a good grade for a class writing assignment which I felt was the worst piece of writing i ever wrote. Had 45 minutes to write sthg and my mind didnt seem to work. For that reason, im truly thankful. But why am i having this feeling that i should have gotten an A for it?
Received a couple of letters recently. One of which noted that I'll be attaining the age of majority. Hopefully with age comes maturity.... and some wisdom... and some sense..