Saturday, October 24, 2009

The First

I'm on the verge of doing something about it. And if I really do something about it, I need to thank Jeanne Pierre Jeunet and Amélie and a handful of others.

I remember writing in "Jeunet: To love or to hate?" (Oct 09) the following:

"I've been thinking about one of the things that I wrote:

Perhaps Jeunet hopes for the introvert among us to realize the need to ‘go and get him, for Pete’s sake’ and not wait for things to happen. Through Dufayel, Jeunet screams to the cowards among us: ‘You can take life’s knock. If you let this chance go by, eventually your heart will become …dry and brittle’.

Will the introvert among us ever make things happen? Or will they let chances after chances go by? I ask myself this questions because despite having written and read what I wrote countless times, I let yet another chance go by a couple of hours before class. I saw her as I walked down the stairs toward the computer terminals."

I remember writing in "The Girl"(Jun 09) the following:

"Some do leave you with a pretty sweet impression. Many did. Many could still do.

But should one ever decide if the impression left is the sweetest? Or should one simply wait for the next sweet impression.... and then the one after that... and ..."

While walking back home yesterday evening, I was thinking. And I realized that no matter how much my feelings may be for her, the feeling may most probably not be mutual. While the idealistic-and-romantic-fairy-tale-ending-loving me would like to believe the 1% chance that it might be mutual, the logical-analytical-probability-and-statistics-hating me have accepted the 99% probability of it NOT being mutual.

But while the old me would have not bothered doing anything about it based on the probability, the me that i knew was in me somewhere will.

I guess the answers to my questions were in me all along.


Holly said...

It's so strange to see our siblings growing up, and easy to miss that we are, too. Where does the time go?

I hope you feel better about school, soon.

marzuki said...

Yup it does feel strange. Coz in our eyes, they'll always be our little brothers and sister.

Thanks Holly. I hope so too. In time I will.