Sunday, December 6, 2009
I couldnt let this day go by without writing something about it coz I want to be able to look back to this day and read something about my brothers' birthdays - as i see it at this moment.
It was a quiet day. No cakes, no presents. Just tv and computer and tv. It kinda reminds me of someone else's birthday that comprises of simple wishes from whoever's at home and of late, scribbles on my Facebook wall. I guess birthdays will never be our forte.
My brothers, they're all grown up. No longer the little boys whom I could hug and kiss as I please. As much as I hate to let them go, I believe I had done just that quite some time back. It's sad but I guess that's just life. People grow up. Sometimes, i fail to realize that i too am growing up - too fast for my own good. But that's life.
It's nice to see them become smart individuals despite no one having imposed anything on them. They remind myself of myself when i was their age. However, being the eldest, I was pretty much on my own. My brothers, however, had me. I remember telling them how i'll teach them personally should they come back with an average result for their tests. And I also remember them coming back doing pretty well. I told myself that they're smart and capable of succeeding without much push. They have each other. All I had to do was to remind them that Im here whenever they needed me. I would do little things like ruffling their hair - despite them hating it - just to tell them I'm still around.
This decision of mine to let them develop on their own might come back to haunt me. Or maybe it won't. I guess in life, we can only plan so much and that at the end of the day, we wun really know the outcome of our actions until the day comes.
All i can do is pray that my little brothers grow up and be big guys who will never look back in regret. Happy birthdays.