Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Bully and the Bullied

The other aspect of theory of mind is empathizing. This also involves representing the mental state of others, but in the particular case where that mental state is an emotion. By empathizing with another's emotion, we are potentially affected by it too. Empathizing is what we do when we say, "I can imagine how awful that felt".

......"Personality: What makes you the way you are" by Daniel Nettle

The bully will always remain a bully.

The bullied will always remain the bullied - if that makes the bully happy. The bullied is an empathizer. He feels for the bully.

For the first time, I believe I can pin point a significant event from my past that might have unlocked this personality of mine. I remember walking back home from school when I was probably eight - alone. I felt a push from the back. I fell. Several kicks later, he ran away.

I didn't feel much pain coz he probably kicked my bag. Or perhaps, the fetal position I was in absorbed the impact somewhat.

I remember picking myself up. I straightened my uniform and made my way back home. I don't remember feeling much of a shock. I definitely wasn't going to tell my mum. I never told anyone. I saw him around in school but never confronted him for it. Afterall, he was tall for an eight year old.

The mind must've woken up that day. I wondered what wrong I did to deserve the push and the kicks. I was eight for goodness sake - probably the nicest kid around. I wondered why he did what he did. Because I could come up with no reason for his actions, I pitied him. I forgave him. I pretended it never happened.

I feel good when others feel good. But I guess, sadly, for some, they feel good when others do not. It sucks but that's nature.

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