It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." ...a fairly decent quote i must say. And it's frm Batman Begins -- a fairly ok movie.

I was thinking off what to write today and i decided to let Ali of the past inspire me in tonite's entry.Went thru my December 2004 archives and im surprised tt i hadnt blogged today last year. Nor did i blogged tmr. Nor did i blog on the eve of the eve of Christmas.

hey all of a sudden, the lights at orchard came across my mind. Hmmm... i wonder if they still decorate the trees with lights. The last time i saw the lights was ..... hmm..... was when we're on our home frm somewhere when dad decided to drive thru town to see the lights... and tt was ages ago! Not in the past 6-7-8 years i tink. haha... It was just tt ONE time -- which lasted 2 minutes i think. Haha... yea.. it's nice to "see" what u saw in the past. Precious little moments.

a week to the new year. gosh do i fear my future. i suddenly felt the fear today coz i wanted to clean my room today lah. I wanted to clear some stuffs so tt my bros could warm up for their school term by reading up early and stuffs like tt. Right now, the two tables in my room are still occupied with my notes and files and tys lah! Stuffs ive yet to master. And knowing tt ive not done my job well made me feel abit guilty abt discarding my old stuffs. And looking at my "preparations" for the As .... gosh is the mood really tormenting me. Mama came in and i told her abt the notes and all lah. Well, all i did was say vague things here and there.

And mums being mums, she could see right thru me. She could hear things i didnt actually say. My voice was abit stressed up when she asked if i needed help in clearing my stuffs. I replied with a no.... and an hour later, she came back to my room and not a single bit of difference lah. I was still like sitting on this chair looking at my tables... wondering what to do. And she said, "maybe u could get the boxes inside ur dad's van and put all ur stuffs in it. If u ever need to use them in future, u 'll noe where to find it. If after several years and there's no need for ur old stuffs, u could always throw everything away along with the box." Sweet suggestion.

Reminiscing my past, wondering abt the future. Tt seems to be the things i do during free times. Always keeping in touch with myself and it seem to me tt the only fren im keeping in touch wif is none other than myself.

gosh do i suddenly feel like defining myself.... slowly..

Till nxt time. Happie holidays.

PS: Something just doesnt doesnt feel right abt this entry. It's been on for a couple of hrs and i just do not feel like publishing it. Thoughts do not seem to connect. Paragraphs do not seem to be going in a smooth flow. But wth.... shall get it over and done wif.

Nites.