Saturday, December 10, 2005

missed prom.... gonna miss the nxt big event...

... it was a difficult choice to make. i mean, it's either my dad or my friends. I could ask him for a day or two off but, do i really want to? Seeing the nature of his job, the tremendous weight of shipments, going up and down one building after the other, finding a place to park and so on... do i really have the guts to see it as "just one day" and let dad do his job like he always do?

The answer... no. He had to do everything on his own when i wasnt there.... and now that i'm there, i think its my job to literally lift the load off him. I didnt even asked my dad if he could allow me off for those 2 days. Not that i dun dare to. Just tt i dun want to. I cant really enjoy knowing tt at the back of my head, im enjoying at the expense of my father..

well, i guess this entry is a pathetic excuse for my not coming. I really wanted to prove nizar wrong.... (like how i wanted to prove tauhid wrong when he dared me not to blog for a day)... but in both cases, i followed my heart rather than my head. I guess nizar saw this coming. I guess he noes me more than i tot he knew lah. well, i missed prom and im gonna miss the nxt big event.. Both events for me to keep in contact wif frens... both events i fail to attend. It's a repeat of primary school life, secondary school life.... and now.. jc life is not much difference.

I knew i blogged a number of times late this year wanting to change all that and stuff.... the opportunity for that change came knocking, and both time i rejected it. Historically, less and less opportunity will come knocking ..... And i truly ask myself, will i regret the decisions i make now this day in future? Should i have listened to my head more than my heart?

A tough life.

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