Am very very sleepy right now. My birthday.... the first birthday i've celebrated alone. My mama wenta Malaysia and its 11+ now but she still haven come back yet. It feels very empty man... den somemore my sis went out for tuition at 11... I was practically alone all the way till 2 lah! Tts when my bros returned home.
My ytd auntie bought me a real bdae cake which she passed thru my bros who slept over at her place ytd. EVen though it was a real cake, i cut and ate it myself coz they dun wanna eat it. So there i was eating my own cake while my bros watched tv. All i got from my bros was a short "happy birthday" wish-- no hugs no kisses unlike always. I guess one do not hug nor kiss when one is almost 12..... saded... my ytd auntie also told the whole of Singapore about my bdae over the Malay radio... something which i missed. Coz she told us to on the radio a little too early. After ard 15mins of waiting, we got bored and switched it off...
Den from 3-7, i was in the highly irritated mood. My bros are really getting too hard to handle now... they dun listen to what i say and all. I tell them to do this and they shout and sigh and stamp their feet and all tt stuff which made me mad. My hand's still feeling the sting.
8-10+ was me teaching my bros maths. 3 more days to PSLe and they still wanna slack. So it was more of me in the irritated mood again, forcing them to listen to me explain and all....
10+ and i realise i never do much work at all. I'm lagging behind my plan. And today, i shouted at my bros a lot. SHOUTED at them more than i ever did anytime this year lah! Wonder what's gotten into me on my birthday.
I know i expected this to happen --Minus the me shouting and the me in a very irritated mood. But i wonder why i still feeling like this now lah. It's like i expected to not do well for prelims yet when i cant do the papers, i feel like crying. Perhaps i never experienced this kind of birthday before -- as alone as i can ever get!
This is worse than my normal days..... i cant wait for tmr! I cant wait for this horrible day to end so that i can start work proper. I m currently 2 days behind coz i didnt do what i was supposed to do this 2 days! Well..... all in all, all i can say that second october didnt end with a high. It ended with me shouting at my bros again for being too noisy in bed. To my bros who could be reading this in future, i wanna tell u that u really made this day a really bad day for me.
Hmmm.....I'm 18 now. However, i have this feeling that i'll always be the 6 year old/10 year old me. M18 films and clubbing do not and will not appeal to me. I'll always be the person who'll say he expects this to happen and tt he wun be too greatly affected by it but in the end.... -sigh- I'll always be the guy who "whines" on his blog even though he doest like to. Symptoms of someone lousy i guess... Is this something which makes me unique? I really dun tink so..... I dun feel 18. I feel miserable. i guess i'll be 18 when i'm 21.... so till then...
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