Finally... its almost over....

Never have i spoken to her in such a depressing tone. As usual, my mama was waiting and asked her "how?" question -- this time can feel the "i want to hear that it's not hard" tone. I didnt want to say it was hard so I told her it "wasnt easy". And i also told her "my alevel cert can throw away". Being the mama i knew for 18 years now, she didnt say much. Like "how come?" or "U study also cannot pass ar?" or "2 years waste my money just like dat".

Life simply went on as per normal. I ate a fruit and commented that it tastes so bad and mama said that it's becoz they plucked the fruit before it ripens and blah blah blah. No rementioning of my poorly done alevels. But i have to admit -- there is the "gloomy atmosphere" in my house -- the silent incessant screams of "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Walking home from school... people sound so happy that the As are over. (technically, there's STILL paper one... and the bio....and the computing... and the what not lah..). But ya, u noe wat i mean. Ppl going to watch movie and wat not... (at tis point, i'd like to say tt going to the movies haven been a characteristic of my life yet... haha... tts why i STILL refuse to go)

maybe partly coz i got no mood for anything now. I didnt even had the mood to go home. Felt like sitting under a big tree and simply see time fly. But too bad... i'm already home.

Nothing much i can do now huh? All i know is i wun be taking the conventional route to life like u guys would. The feeling of despair, depression, hopelessness and hunger lumped all in one. yes... i'm hungry. though depressed, still must eat rite?

btw, the way i write this entry is like the way i wrote entries after prelims. i tink i'll live through the post-prelims days by reading past entries and simply start tonight from the day i start feeling alright again. HAHA.... i duwan to waste my time living thru girly girly moments all over again. no insults to girls though.

hmm... "I'm all about them words Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words." maybe, even after i fail, i wun be out of words.

well, i shall not sit around blogging anymore. gonna see if food is cooked or not. After that it's chem till friday. After friday, i think i'd start outlining the routes i would be taking after As. bbyes!!!!!! =)

It's okay to feel bad for a while. Just make sure u dun feel bad abt urself for too long. An entry long will do. After that, simply pick urself up and emerge a slightly stronger person.