Friday, June 10, 2005

my Thursdae's report for the world

like i said yesterdae.....todae's split into 3 parts.....chem,maths and physics. Woke up late ....again....8 o clock........ergh! Switched on my com to see which topics i must do todae. So it seems like NMR for chem, TRIGO for maths and CAPACITANCE for physics. So i wrote the topics on the "calender" i drew on a drawing block...and turned off my com.Read and read and read.....finally managed to come out with a mindmap...and understooded it even better then yesterdae..but i overshot chem till 12+ i tink.....had my breakfast at 12....at a small serving of nasi lemak my mum cooked yesterdae.....hehe....didnt quite enjoy it though. Haha....den quickly went to do maths.......

TRIGO............ergh!! So many formulas to memorise....i alwats get irritated with TRIGO lah....so after reading the first few pages.....i almost fell asleep on the chair...so i offed my room lights and told my mama to wake me up at 4.15......BUt knowing tt she WUN wake me up at 4.15....i set the alarm clock.....true enuff... the alarm clock woke me up. Feeling dizzy....tired....hehe......so went to take a bath. Yea.....den after tt back to serious werk. Pages flew by ....and finally, managed to get everything onto a single A4 size paper....haha....and can say i understooded TRIGO too....but i never really did practice sums on the TYS...well atleast i noe now what TRIGOs abt and everything i needed to noe abt trigo can be seen within tt single page of A4 paper...yea....

but the sad thing is, i did TRIGO till 11.30 sia! Heh.....tts how sucky my TRIGO is lah! Ahh!! so sad lah....which means my capacitance.....have to be rescheduled to some other free time slots????...... nah...haha....i did a mindmap for capacitance some time back....but when i relooked at it......it didnt seem tt clear lah....but i guess i ll improve on it. Work will be done much faster.....

just wondering. Everytime i do a summary or a mindmap, i find it no so useful the next time i take a look at it. tt summary or mindmap did seemed to me like the best at tt point in time and i always feel like it can last me forever......but it ALWAYS seem sucky the next time i take a look at it....why ar? WHHYYYY!!

But the mindmaps i m doing rite now.....heh.......they ll be used till the alevels man.... they're the completest mindmaps.....the mother of all my old mindmaps.....yea....

damn sad todae lah. Seems like my left jaw stucking oso.....aiya.....sien. It began with my right jaw lah....some 3years ago.... tt time only right side jaw cannot open up to its maximum. The left side working normally. then i guess the difference in distance when the 2 jaws move down....creates an anticlockwise moment...causing the left jaw to not function tt normally anymore. Argh! damn sad lah. not Angry!! just sad lah..... den this evening ate my dinner.......ard 8 slices of bread??? Haha...ate with beef curry....wah. ...the meat not so big size oso i cannot put it in my mouth and eat normally. There'll be like a *click* sound at the left jaw when i chew the meat with my right.....and vice versa. DEn got one part i almost scared lah coz i tink the meat too big(actually its NORMAL Bite size lah!but den again....my bite size smaller....)....and so the jaw like almost went out of place tt kind of feeling.....but never lah....thank god...

and so i was like....haiz.....life will never be the same again...no more enjoying my mcspicy double coz i ll have to eat the burger sllooowly.... damn saddening lah..... i noe i cant blame anyone for this.....3 years ago, when i woke up, the whole mouth can open 1cm max lah. den slowly slowly open ....but right side stuck....argh.... i cant be angry at god ... which i think i did when i talked to my mum just now...

.... she keeps telling me to fix my own jaw problem by moving it ard and all.....and i m like CANNOT LAH!! U TINK VERY EASY AR!!!..... but the volume not loud lah. Just the tone kind of like anger,frustrated,sad-until-cannot-take-it-but-still-can-tahan-abit ....yeah..... and i told her in the above same tone....."FASTING MONTH SOMEMORE U KNOW!!" .....(i repeat....i didnt raise my voice k....just the tone) and yeps....it happened during the fasting mth 3 yrs ago when i woke up to eat before dawn tt time. Everyone was already outside eating...my cuzs happens to be here at tt time so they were all eatin.... but i was still in my room-- moving my jaw ard...but to no avail. 1cm was the max i think. Both jaws were like stuck. I was damn scared den lah...like want to cry....

den my mum like called for me.....den i went outside and mumbled my mouth cannot open properly. SHe said just try to eat....and guess wat......the spoon-filled rice cannot even fit into my mouth lah! felt like breaking down then and there. I took less rice on the spoon....still, some rice dropped back onto the plate....i tink i like hit the spoon hard on the plate and ate with my hands.....after one two three scoops with my hands.....i feel damn helpless already lah....so just drank tea and dat'll last me till the break of fast some 14 hours later...... and i tink i was damn scared tt morning tt i cried myself to sleep....things went better...till recently lah. Haiz....sien....

If only we had an abundance of money ard here. Den tt $100 just for consultation wun be a big deal. Coz they way money goes ard ard here, it's something like "IMportant not urgent"....."urgent not impt"..... "urgent and impt"......and mine happens to be important but not urgent.... but den again.....i was the one hu told my mum nvm lah....no nd see doctor.... coz she said $100 is ex....den the treatments after tt all still money oso mah.... den the exams at the end of this year oso money mah....... yea yea...i sacrificed for the greater good.....hhaa........

just hope tt things will stay like it is and tt when i get my own money.....i ll go seek treatment..... yeah, just hope its not too late too....heh........tis is life.....

.....there are ppl out there who are in more difficult positions.....so y should i be complaining..... i should count myself lucky....... and god willing........ nthg bad will happen to me or my jaws...

THE END.
(haha........dats my thursdae....)

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