Saturday, September 3, 2005

....love...crush...infatuation..

love....infatuation....crush.....love....crush....infatuation.... love..... infatuation... ...crush..love.....crush....crush.....love.....crush......infatuation....

shak.....insecurity....shak....calvin.....shak...shak....shak....

Dunnoe why i'm writing like this. Maybe i'm sick. Yeps. I'm sick. Must be the rain today. Headache..... like TAuhid... really....aint joking.... was feeling giddy last friday too.... and this morning....my left brain was aching.... Headache.

Maybe its also coz i wanna act cute. Simply wanna write things that'll make ppl wonder what i'm actually thinking and why i do the things i do or why i say the things i say or why i type the things i type. Are everything that this "budding writer" blogs about really the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Or is it, like he said, just mere words to attract attention and make ppl wonder. Are the words i'm leaving on my blog for me and others to read hidden clues as to what is really going on in my life.... or are they pure fiction. Fact or fiction? Believe it or not?

But one thing's for sure...Shak... i aint writng this coz of i'm in love.... infatuatuation.... crush....love or love....crush....crush....love.... crush or infatuation.....

Having blogged for over 160 entries..... i noe precisely why i write the way i write. Hehe.... that's only for me to noe and for u to guess....guess...guess...and guess till the sand in ur hourglass runs out.... BUt trust me, unlike the X-files, the truth is NOT out there...... Its here.... in me.... in this blog.... haha...

Never ever take what's written online as truth. Coz the real truth may catch u by surprise. Hehe..... just because i put Pisces as my horoscope on Friendster doesnt mean that my birthday lies between Feb 20 to March 20. Just because someone tells someone online that he or she thinks that his or her mum is a cheapo really means that he or she really thinks that his or her mum is a cheapo. Hehe....maybe he does..... Just becoz someone tells u via msn tt he or she is coughing blood doesnt mean that he or she is telling the truth. Just becoz someone tells u online that he or she is 17 doesnt mean that he or she is really 17. For all u noe, he or she may only be 17 at heart but 80 in person. Bottomline is that it really takes a person with lots of skill to differentiate the truth from the untruth. And i dun think there's any such person out there, really.....

I'm gay..... truth...or untruth..

U noe wat...... i really like hock..... truth or untruth..

And guess wat, i think i hav a crush on someone...

.....and that someone is shak.... truth or untruth...

HAha.... hard rite? Hehe...

BUt seriously, one cant really blame me for the way i blog. Having sentenced myself to imprisonment.....i cant really blog in a way that's more creative than this lor!

Hahaha!

And now for the mundane stuffs...

GP exams..... essay wasnt hard. I was just dumb. Paper 2 was easy.... but that's just me. Others say its hard. In other words, a paper gone.

And dunnoe why leh...just felt like writing sthg to shak. This came across my mind on the train on my way home.

I feel like apologising to him -- but for dunnoe what reason. Maybe got reason..... reasons only both of us noe...... but really, i dun really noe for wat reason. Maybe coz of the way i answer him when he ask questions(dumb questions btw..... questions only shak and i noe)...... maybe only.... just maybe...... Dunnoe lah! Haha... have anyone ever felt like apologising to someone else but dunnoe what ure apologising for??? ANYONE??? haha.... maybe i'm sick.......attracting attention...making ppl wonder..... haha! But its definitely not love....crush....infatuation...crush...crush...crush....

Hmm...which reminds me of sthg i typed above...."i think i hav a crush on someone........and that someone is shak.... truth or untruth..." .... hhaha...

So wat do u think shak? Haha...

They say that when one goes out to do good, an angel will shelter one all the way to his destination by spreading out his wings. I walked to the mosque for my friday prayers....its just the concrete pavement below me and the skies above me. I looked down at the reflection i see in the puddles on the concrete pavement. I saw a beautiful silhoutte of me in it,the sun evn though it was raining, and the sky.

I wonder, where's the angel that's suppose to shelter me all the way from home to the mosque.

Btw, when writing the above in bold, i just wanted to try write something beautiful lah. I noe "where's the angel that's suppose to shelter me". He's there alright. Just becoz u cant see it doesnt mean it doesnt exist. For the day i see angels will be the day the angel of death comes to pay me his first and final visit.

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